Back In The Game
by Ardeth Saunders
Summary: A friend's disappearance suddenly draws Loralei back into the fold of the FBI, causing a bit of discord among the Donovans [Yes another Loralei/Donovan fic....;)].
1. Reflections

**DISCLAIMER:  _UC:  Undercover_ and its cast of characters belong to the writers, creators, NBC, et. al.  However, the author would like to borrow the cast members for a little while.  There is absolutely NO infringement intended.  All other original characters belong solely to the twisted, and sometimes vivid, imagination of the author.  Rated "R" for strong language, sexual situations, and violence.**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:  A TREMENDOUS thank you goes to TheDreamyOne [Shelley] for assisting with this plot idea.  You are one great collaborator!  **

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CHAPTER 1—REFLECTIONS 

Some time ago [_how many years was it exactly_, her sleeping mind asked] before she became a wife and mother, Loralei Kadin-Donovan had been a rookie agent.  When she had graduated from the academy, she was a bit green, and didn't know very much.  Yet, she was fairly bright, and could do amazing things with computers.  Director Chance Casey had put her on an assignment deemed 'perfect' for her.  Agent Kadin was responsible for breaking up child pornography rings.  She was instructed to surf the Internet, hacking into taboo sites to dig for any information available.  Once she found the sites or the people involved with them, she was to pounce on them and brief the FBI director.  Agent Kadin didn't really like her job.  It was awful what these sick fucks put innocent children through, and it seemed as if she couldn't do enough to help them.  Her role in the whole thing seemed so small.  How many times had she wished she could take all these kids and raise them?  This was a huge deal to her, because she had never thought of herself as the 'mothering' type.  She hadn't once mused about her 'biological' clock, nor had she went out of her way to find a man, or to get married, or to breed.  It just wasn't her thing.  She hadn't had many boyfriends, and the few she dated never really progressed past the 'slap and tickle' phase.  She wasn't looking for it, nor did she really want it.  Of course, she was younger back then, and she had yet to meet the man who would change all that in her.  In her sleeping mind, Loralei Donovan drifted back, further into her old life, the one before Frank and Rachel.

Director Casey never made it any secret that he didn't care for Agent Kadin.  She didn't think it had anything to do with latent sexism [there were plenty of female agents in her group], but something about her seemed to piss off the director.  Hardly anything she did pleased the man, even after she successfully shattered dozens of porno rings and saved countless lives.  Never had she heard praise from the man's mouth.  Of course, she wasn't necessarily seeking praise, but she noticed that other agents were celebrated for their work, while she was virtually ignored.  Kadin's skills were more along the lines of behavioral sciences, but Casey would never approve her transfer.  She couldn't _begin_ to know why.  It seemed that if he hated her so badly, he wouldn't hesitate to get her out of his hair.  She wanted to stay close to Quantico, immersing herself into the minds of the sickest of the sick:  serial killers.  It was her passion [oddly enough], and her interest to study the lives and to get into the minds of the antisocial personalities who became such vicious killers.  Burning endless midnight oil, she studied profile after profile of some of the most horrid killers of all time, including Bundy, Gacy, Buono and Bianchi*, Ramirez**, Burkowitz***, DeSalvo****, Dahmer, and the first female serial murderer identified, Aileen Wuornos.  She aspired to work with these people, to find out what made them tick.  She had a strong desire to assist in the identification and capture of any future serial killers.  Her only obstacle was Chance Casey. 

Agent Kadin had gone to Director Casey on numerous occasions requesting to be transferred from the Internet Crime Division [ICD].  The work had begun to tweak her nerves.  At the end of her workday, she would be so freaked out and upset that she could do nothing more than crawl into bed and cry herself to sleep.  She had almost sought the help of a psychiatrist, but didn't.  If her superiors found out, they would question her ability to handle the job at all.  She loved her work, had worked hard to get where she was, and she didn't intend to let anything stop her.  There had to be a way out.  If she couldn't find one through Casey, she would find it through another avenue.  Getting around Casey would be the issue.  Kadin knew she was green, and she wasn't on friendly terms with anyone in her field office.  Even at the federal level, there were tons of brown nosers, and most of them received the choice assignments.  It wasn't fair, of course, but there was no way she would kiss ass or throw a fit.  Eventually, she would piss off Casey enough where he would literally kick her out.  She couldn't wait for that day.  Of course, she wouldn't purposely give him a reason to overreact [that would come unexpectedly much, much later, when she fell in love with a man she was sent to protect], but she wouldn't turn down any opportunity to leave.  She _was_ green, but she was far from stupid.  Her chance came approximately two months after she began working with ICD.

During a routine area meeting, Agent Kadin was introduced to Bart Jackson.  Jackson was an older man who had been with the Bureau for several years.  Kadin had learned that Jackson had joined the FBI straight out of law school and had been working as a field officer from day one.  He had a wonderful knack for the job, and had received many decorations from the president for bringing down more drug rings than any agent in history.  When a break was called at the meeting, Kadin introduced herself to the 'legend,' and the two struck up a conversation.  It was then that she learned Jackson wanted out of the drug game.  Although Kadin's assignment was nowhere near the level of danger that Jackson's was, she totally understood.  Every once in a while, everyone needed a change, especially in high stress divisions.  When Jackson told her that he would be working a particularly strange serial murder case, Kadin was hungry for a chance to work with him.  She had confessed that she hated ICD and couldn't take much more of it.  Jackson saw a spark in Kadin.  She was young and inexperienced, but she had great potential to really do something in the Bureau.  Without her even hinting about it, Jackson decided to try to help out the rookie any way possible.

The next day, Jackson used his security clearance to examine Loralei Kadin's file.  He discovered that she had been a fairly sharp student in college and an apt candidate when she came into the academy.  There were only a few red marks on her record, including the fact that she was a little jumpy and nervous, but that could be fixed.  He went over her ICD record meticulously, and discovered that she had broken up as many porno rings as he had drug deals.  In his mind, he thought the kid might make a pretty good field/UC agent.  Her superior was Chance Casey.  The director was a hard man, and he chose his favorites.  It appeared that Kadin _was not_ one of them.  He counted about ten transfer requests that Casey had ultimately denied.  _What's up with that_?  Agents transferred in regular intervals.  It wasn't a new thing or even a big deal.  He didn't quite understand why Casey had it in for the rookie.  After poring over Kadin's records for over two hours, he went to Casey and pled the kid's case.  Casey was a difficult man to reason with, and he claimed he didn't want to lose Kadin due to her success with ICD.  However, Jackson was stubborn and pushed Casey until he consented to send Kadin out as a field agent.

Casey called Kadin in to his office and told her he was approving a transfer out of ICD.  She wanted to scream out her happiness, but she remained solid and serious.  It was a good thing, too, because Casey would approve it only if Jackson was willing to mentor her.  Jackson had no problem with that, of course, but Kadin did.  It appeared that Casey would never trust her enough to believe that she was a capable agent [and of course, she would prove him right in a few months].  However, she didn't quite sneeze at the chance to get away from ICD and seeing Casey's face on a regular basis.  She wasn't thrilled to learn that she would be forced to endure yet more training to prepare, but it was better than her current job.  If she saw one more child porn site, she would scream herself into a mental institution.

In conjunction with a dozen regional offices, Kadin and Jackson were assigned to work the Black Heart Killer case.  Kadin requested and received every piece of information about this particular killer, and she became quite obsessed.  She studied the profile as if she were readying for a college final examination.  She began to search for any piece of information she could find.  She spent dozens of hours interviewing the families of the murdered men.  Jackson became her sole supporter and was basically given charge of her by Director Casey.  Casey didn't make it any secret that he disliked Kadin.  He thought of her as weak and misguided.  He didn't like the idea of her working in the field, and he plainly told Jackson that if she made one mistake, she would be yanked off the case.  Jackson thought it unfair and decided to cover Kadin as much as possible.  Casey simply didn't know of her potential.  

For several months, Kadin's performance was excellent.  She would do wonderful things within her career if she kept it up.  Although it wasn't necessary, Jackson reported to Casey monthly to basically brag about his charge.  He wanted to rub it in the other man's face.  He had been quite wrong about Kadin.  Eventually, of course, a fly landed in the cornbread mix.  The fly had been Frank Donovan.  Jackson should have known something had gone awry after Kadin's first meeting with Donovan.  She hadn't elaborated much when Jackson asked her about bumping into the intended target.  She had said they had spoken briefly and that Donovan had asked her out.  Jackson hardly blinked when she mentioned their date.  The way she had run into Donovan was a break of sorts, and neither thought it wouldn't be a bad thing for Kadin to get a little closer to the man.  Of course, Kadin failed to mention that she was attracted to the stoic SOU leader.  If he had known, he thought he might have been able to intervene.  But then again, probably not, because the kid was more than likely hooked after her third or fourth meeting with Donovan.  However, he hadn't had a clue as to the depth of her relationship with the man, not until Donovan came looking for her at their hideout.  At that moment, he knew that Kadin had messed up.  Falling for the target wouldn't have been such a hideous thing if he and Kadin hadn't been in the middle of a life and death assignment.  Even after Kadin admitted that she had overstepped her bounds, he continued to protect her.  He would not and did not report her misdeed to Casey.  If so, Casey would immediately feel vindicated and then send Kadin away.  Casey expected her to fail, and she did.

Jackson begged Kadin not to go to Casey.  The director was already livid when the party fiasco blew up in their faces.  Kadin's intentions were good, but her follow through needed lots of work.  Yet, she insisted on going to Casey to admit that she had not only slept with the target, but she also had fallen in love with him as well.  As expected, Casey hit the roof and decided to immediately transfer her completely out of his regional office.  He didn't care where she went; he wanted her out of his sight.  Jackson recalled pleading her case once again, asking that she be given at least one chance to redeem herself.  Casey did not relent.  Of course, as it turned out, it didn't matter.  Kadin had nearly died from gunshot wounds to her chest, and had actually received commendations from _Casey's_ superior for aiding in BHK's capture.  A long career in the Bureau wasn't what Kadin wanted.  She had left, choosing to live with the man she fell in love with, instead of going back into the trenches.  Jackson couldn't blame her, actually, because she and the SOU leader were good together.  They had had a few pitfalls here and there, but their life was relatively good.  

Jackson had kept in touch with Kadin, following her ups and downs through various letters she wrote.  She seemed extremely happy, and didn't necessarily miss the life at all.  He was stunned to hear that Kadin had had a child.  He remembered how insistent she was about not having children when she was still in ICD.  Regardless of her past vehement opinion, she had become a mother anyway.  _Kadin with a baby, now that's something I need to see_.  She had even invited Jackson to visit her in Chicago.  Like most new mothers, she wanted to show off her daughter, and introduce her to her 'Uncle Bart.'  She had even joked that she had started to name her baby 'Bart,' but changed her mind at the last minute.  _After all_, she had written, _a girl named Bart might have a few problems when she begins preschool_.  Kadin had written numerous times that she would reserve a place in her heart just for Jackson.  He had basically gone through hell on her behalf, and she would never forget him for that.  She also felt badly for leaving the Bureau after Jackson had stuck out his neck for her.  She chose love and marriage, two beautiful things that had eluded him thus far.  He couldn't fault her for that.  If given the choice, he might even go Kadin's way.  Hell, a man had to live some time or another.  He couldn't remain an agent for the rest of his life, especially not now.  

There were problems, problems that had to do with Kadin's old life.  It was something that she needed to hear about.  She needed to be warned.  The thing was, he didn't know how to approach her with it.  If he talked about what he'd learned, he might not be alive very much longer.  He was certain no one had let the cat out of the bag yet, but it was difficult keeping secrets in the Bureau.  Nowadays, they could easily be discovered with the click of a mouse.  He popped open his laptop and hooked up his wireless Internet connection.  After pausing for a few moments, he began to type out an email to a fellow agent.  He encrypted it before hitting 'send.'  Nothing would be worse than for that communication to reach the wrong hands.  At first, Jackson had balked at visiting Kadin.  It wasn't exactly safe for him to be talking to her.  However, seeing her child would be good cover.  He would have a chance to speak to her before someone else did.  He had first thought of going to Donovan with this, but his relationship with Kadin's husband was shaky at best.  It wasn't that Donovan didn't trust him or disliked him, but he had never exactly forgiven him for BHK's escape.  This shit would have been perfect for this SO team, but he hesitated.  Kadin first.  Donovan later.

*  *  *

"Shit," Loralei cried softly.

She sat straight up in bed and blinked the sleep from her eyes.  She had had a weird dream, but couldn't exactly remember it.  The only thing she did remember was that her partner was in it.  Bizarre.  Or not so bizarre.  She had just spoken to Jackson on the phone just a few hours before she retired for the night.  He had made arrangements to visit with her and the baby in a couple of days.  Perhaps that was why he had invaded her dream.  Sighing, she lay back in bed and took hold of Donovan's pillow, hugging it closely to her body.  The scent of his cologne was all over it, and it seemed to comfort her somehow.  He was out of town on an assignment, and wouldn't return until tomorrow night.  Donovan had called right after Jackson.  When she told him that she expected Jackson to visit in two days, he drew in an annoyed breath, and didn't say much.  It hurt knowing that he felt such animosity for a man who had literally saved her ass more times than she could count, but her husband was stubborn.  How long did it take him to forgive his twin for his misdeed when they were teenagers?  Jackson's infraction was smaller, but still, Donovan could hold a grudge for decades and not blink twice.

Loralei buried her face briefly into the pillow.  Donovan wasn't happy about the visit, but he would consent to it because he loved her, and for no other reason.  Her eyes closed and she slowly began to drift away into dreamland.  Before sleep completely took her over, she heard Rachel's wailing cries emitting from the baby monitor on Donovan's side of the bed.  She glanced over at the bedside clock on her side.  _Ah, no wonder I jerked awake_, she thought.  It probably wasn't the dream at all.  Although it had taken a few weeks, both she and Donovan had learned Rachel's schedule and the different cries she exhibited.  The 'wail' normally meant she wanted food, and she wanted it now.  She had definitely inherited Loralei's impatience.  

She stood and grabbed her robe at the foot of the bed.  She shrugged into it as she entered the small room that served as a nursery.  She reached down into the crib and took her crying infant into her arms.  Rachel settled down just the tiniest bit, but continued to blat indignantly.  She wasn't happy, and she didn't care who knew it.  As she carried the baby into the kitchen, she mused that her daughter had the Donovan hair just as she hoped, but had gotten the Kadin green eyes.  She went about preparing a bottle and when it was ready, she went over to the couch and sat down.  Rachel attacked the bottle with gusto. 

Loralei turned when she heard a key rattling in the front door.  "What are you doing back so early," she asked in surprise.

Donovan entered the apartment and closed the door behind him.  "Actually closed a case in record time," he said with a small smile.  He approached the couch and sat down beside her.  He leaned toward her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.  "Missed you both."

"So did we," she said.

"Can I," he asked as he reached for the baby.

"Of course.  Since when do you ask?"  She drew the bottle away from Rachel [she was none too happy about that], and handed the infant to him.

He took the bottle from Loralei's proffered hand and resumed Rachel's feeding.  She loved watching him with the baby.  He held her carefully, as if afraid she might break.  It was sweet and endearing.  As she watched her husband and daughter, her mind began to drift again to her dream.  She didn't miss her old career at all, and the only good thing it had really done for her was to bring Donovan into her life.  

*  *  *

***The Hillside Stranglers [Angelo Buono & Kenneth Bianchi]**

****The Night Stalker [Richard Ramirez]**

*****Son of Sam [David Burkowitz]**

******The Boston Strangler [Albert DeSalvo]**


	2. Visit From An Old Friend

CHAPTER 2—VISIT FROM AN OLD FRIEND

Loralei had gotten a late start to her day.  Rachel had been quite active for hours, and neither she nor Donovan had gotten much sleep the night before.  _Ah, the joys of parenthood_, Donovan had commented at around dawn.  _Shut up and take your turn_, she had spat crankily.  Of course, her husband was the consummate day person, and the crack of dawn was his favorite time.  She would gladly allow him to take this shift, because she would take the nighttime anytime.  She dragged her body out of bed, tied her hair back, and struggled into a pair of shorts and a sports bra.  Groaning like a spoiled child, she approached the stationary bike in the corner of the room and reluctantly climbed onto it.  How many miles should she ride today?  One would be perfect, of course, but she settled on ten.  While she rode directly to nowhere, she grabbed hold of two five pound hand weights and began the other part of her new morning routine.  It wasn't quite as much fun as making love to her husband in the shower, but it seemed to burn just as many calories.  After twenty minutes or so, she had worked up a fairly good sweat.  She hated this new routine, hated it with a passion, but she had to admit that after she got going, it made her feel great.  

Donovan entered the bedroom from the baby's room and stood staring at Loralei as if she were a woman possessed.  She was cycling crazily, swinging her arms up and down with the weights held firmly in her hands.  He had only seen her doing this occasionally.  She normally went about her mad exercise after he had gotten up and gone to work.  "What in the hell are you doing?  I don't think all this is necessary," he said with a smile.  She huffed out breaths.  In.  Out.  Out.  In.  Oddly, it was turning him on a little.  Heavy breathing brought his mind around to…other things.

"Easy for you to say, oh jerky husband o' mine.  You weren't the one who gained almost thirty pounds, were you," she asked through a glittering smile.  

He shook his head.  "Thirty pounds my ass, Loralei.  If it was twenty, I'd be surprised."

She noticed that he hadn't dressed in his usual business casual clothing that he insisted on wearing to work.  Donovan's idea of 'casual Friday' was not wearing a shirt beneath his V-neck sweater.  He had donned blue jeans and a black tee-shirt.  Very un-Donovan like indeed, but she had to admit he looked quite delish in those clothes.  _He'd look better out of them_, she thought.  "Aren't you going to work today?"

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  "Nope.  I thought I'd stay here with you and the baby today."  He wished she would get off that damn cycle.  Lately, she had straddled it more than she straddled him.  The sweat glistening on her skin was doing something to him.  Dirty little thoughts began to creep into his mind.  He wasn't far from simply dragging her off the exercycle, throwing her onto the bed, and ravaging her for the rest of the morning.  How long had it been?  Five weeks now?  It felt more like five years.  He missed her, he _really really_ missed her.  Of course, he wasn't counting the time while she was still pregnant.  Sex had been a no-no in the last few weeks of her pregnancy, doctor's orders.  They actually hadn't made love in a couple of months.  

She smiled a little and continued cycling.  As much as a sex-starved female pervert, she couldn't help but stare down at his impressive package held ever so snuggly by his tight jeans.  _Must look away.  Must look away **now**_.  She focused her eyes on a spot behind Donovan's head [the one on his shoulders].  "You know Bart's coming today, and you're playing the Protector again.  Just admit it, Frank, I won't think any differently of you."

His eyes locked onto a droplet of sweat rolling down between her breasts.  _Dear God, if I don't get out of here, I don't know what I'll do to her_, he thought.  His lips ached to fall upon that glorious valley between her breasts, longed to suck every droplet of moisture off her body.  "Okay," he said sedately.  "I admit it.  I know he's your friend, and I understand that you're close to him, but I have a couple of issues.  These are issues of which you are aware."

"Yup," she said, "I am.  I owe him a lot, though, and I want to show off the baby."  She laughed.  "As if no one on this planet hasn't seen her yet."

Her breath:  Huff.  Puff.  In.  Out.  Out.  In.  _Uh God_.  "I'm working on it, Loralei.  I can only forgive so many people at a time, you know."

She finally stopped her lunatic pace and dropped the weights.  Ugh.  She felt better, true, but she was also as horny as hell.  Was it the endorphins that did this to her?  Jesus.  This was worse than being separated from him.  "Oh yeah, I know," she said comically.  Farron came immediately to mind.  Since Rachel's birth, Farron and Donovan had finally made up.  There were still a few tentative moments in their relationship, but things had definitely begun to look up.  Farron had even gone legit and secured a _real_ job on the legal side of the fence.  "I haven't seen Jackson since the wedding, and he's only going to be in Chicago for a few days."

He caressed the nape of his neck.  She had stopped moving, but still sat astride the cycle.  She threw her other leg over the cycle, but kept her fanny plopped firmly in the seat.  She grabbed a towel that she had slung over the handlebars and began to wipe away the sweat trickling down her body.  Goddamn.  He couldn't stand so far away anymore.  He approached her and stood almost right up against her.  She had even spread her legs a little to allow his body to slip between them.  He grabbed the towel and took over the task of wiping her sweat away.  He had to touch her, he couldn't help it.  "You don't have to explain, Loralei," he said as he ran the towel across her lower chest and then down her arms.  "It's okay, really.  I can tolerate his presence, I've told you that already."

"Hmm," she halfway moaned/halfway sighed.  It felt nice having his hands all over her body, even if a thick towel covered them.  She could feel the heat radiating from them.  "I know.  I just wanted to get my point across again."

He bit his bottom lip, and lifted both his eyebrows for half a second.  "I know."  His voice was soft and low.  "You do that so…well."  

Her arms went around his waist and she pressed her body against his.  She could feel him hardening against her, even through the heavy denim material of his jeans.  So nice.  So incredibly nice.  "I try."  _What were we talking about again_, she wondered stupidly as her husband's eyes seemed to consume her very soul.  

His hands came up to her shoulders and he drew down the straps of her sports bra.  His lips went down to one shoulder, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.  Of course, as usual, her eyes had begun to roll in the back of her head.  They had been together a fairly good amount of time, and she was certain he had yet to see that little trick.  It was one of her best-guarded secrets.  If he saw her, he'd laugh himself into an early grave.  He had come close to seeing it on their wedding night, but he had been too amused by her toes curling up to really pay attention.  The feel of his lips and the stinging nip of his teeth on her now bare shoulder felt so very incredible.  His hand came up to cup one of her breasts, and she let out a long, trembling breath.  His thumb lazily caressed her nipple, making it rock hard, and produced a not-so-unpleasant chafing sensation against the rough material of the bra.  The bra zipped up the front and it didn't take him long to open it.  Still keeping her eyes closed tightly, one of her arms moved from his waist and her hand grasped the handlebars to prevent them from tumbling over and causing mood-shattering injuries.  It might have taken five seconds for his mouth to leave her shoulder and move down to her nipples.  It felt so good that it was almost…painful.  It had been far, far too long since he had been inside her.  It seemed as if she were a virgin again.  His lips made their way back up and latched onto hers hungrily.

Loralei broke the kiss so that she could work her hands under his tee shirt.  His skin was so warm and incredibly soft.  She loved touching and tasting it.  She pushed the shirt up and over his head.  He reached around her and drew her up against him.  He wanted her off that damn cycle and on _him_ for a change.  His hands traveled down to her buttocks and he grinded her lower body into his as his mouth found hers again.  He had literally grabbed double hands full of her shorts in an attempt to get them off her as quickly as possible.  He tugged at them impatiently, only managing to pull them down a couple of inches.  At the same time, he was backing her up toward the bed.  They came down on the bed awkwardly, part on and part off it.  They broke physical contact only long enough to get their bodies fully on the bed.  They lay on their sides, facing each other, and her hand slid down to the snap and zipper of his jeans.

"I haven't waited this long for a hand job," he whispered unsteadily as her hand found him and began an agonizing caress.

She giggled as she ran her thumb over the smooth tip of him.  "Such crass language.  So you're not quite to the point of being desperate?"

"Almost," he said against her lips.  "Not quite there yet."  She didn't exactly stop what she was doing, and he didn't exactly try to stop her.  "No, Loralei," he moaned.  "Don't do that.  Don't do this to me.  It's been way too long, and I want you so much.  If you don't stop that, it's going to be over before it even starts."  Thankfully, gratefully, she withdrew her hand.  Of course, he also hated for it to stop, he wasn't an idiot, but still…

They began to work on getting her out of her shorts and panties.  Once she was free of them, she took hold of his arm and pulled him over on top of her.  She ached for him, ached for him to come inside her and put an end to her passionate torment.  He kissed her again and her arms came around his waist and moved down to the waistband of his opened jeans.  Impatiently, she began to tug at them, forcing them down with her hands, knees, legs, and feet.  Wanting to play his own spicy little game, his hand moved down and began to stroke her delicately.  Every few seconds, his fingers gently tugged the curly hair that partially hid the moist folds of skin inside her.  He slipped the tip of his finger inside her warmth, and she gasped his name aloud at the sensual intrusion.  She was probably no more than ten seconds away from exploding.  He must have sensed that, because he pulled back and kissed her deeply.  He settled his body firmly between her thighs and he was no more than a nudge away from ecstasy and sweet, sweet release.  The monitor just inches away from their tangled bodies came to sudden life.  Rachel's 'change me' cry burst into the room.

Donovan sighed heavily and reluctantly moved off her.  She slipped out of the sports bra that had been dangling crazily on one arm and grabbed her robe.  She wrapped it around her and secured it.  She glanced back at her husband.  A bit on the sexually frustrated side, he had buried his face into the bed and groaned incoherently.  He was speaking, but she couldn't quite make out his words.

"What was it that you said earlier, baby?  The joys of parenthood," she asked, amused.  "I'll be right back."

When she returned to the bedroom, his face was still buried in the bed.  She was certain he had gone to sleep.  Smiling a little, she removed the robe, took her hair down, and went into the bathroom.  Her two workouts had gotten her quite sweaty and she needed a shower.  She had reached into the shower to turn on the water when Donovan suddenly took hold of her waist from behind, disrupting her plans.  She yelped in surprise as he drew her body against his.  She was amazed that her startled cry hadn't awakened the baby.

"Weren't we in the middle of something," he asked as his hands came up to cup her breasts.

"I think so," she said shakily.

"I really need you," he said, his lips against her neck.  "I really want you."

She didn't say a word.  Instead, she stepped away from him and took his hand.  She led him back into the bedroom and they came down to the bed together.  Unceremoniously, he entered her, but did so slowly and tenderly.  He began to move within her at a gentle pace, astonished at the incredible feel of her.  Had it really been that long?  God.  It almost felt like the first time he had made love to her.  Yet, he kept a slow and steady pace, although it could have been relatively easy to go hard and frenzied.  Her hands slid down his back to his buttocks and she dug her nails into them, meeting each thrust with passionate abandon.  He sank deeper and deeper into her, quickening the pace and the urgency.  She matched every thrust and jerked her hips up against him harder and harder.  Slow and steady became fast and frenzied.  She cried out softly at her release and wrapped her legs around him as her orgasm shook her to her very core.  She dug her heels into his buttocks, driving him further over the edge.  As usual, he held out as long as he could.  She ran her hands up his back and through his hair before moving them back down again.  She kissed him gently, nipping at his bottom lip, and he couldn't stand that.  Her sensitive spot was right behind her ear, and his happened to be his bottom lip.  All it took was a little nip of her teeth, and he would willingly become her love slave.  Suddenly, almost abruptly, his body tensed.  With his pulse booming in his ears, he took in a hissed breath as he came.  He groaned deeply within his throat as he seemingly went again and again.  Weeks of pent up desire, love, and lust had accumulated and was spent all at once, exhausting him, immobilizing him.  He lowered his body on top of hers and buried his face into her hair.  After a moment or two, they began to laugh nonsensically.  Neither had any idea what they found so funny.

*  *  *

Loralei was expecting Jackson at any time, but he called from his hotel and asked if she would mind bringing the baby over to him.  The hotel wasn't that far from their apartment building, and she agreed readily enough.  Of course, Donovan came along to chaperone.  

Jackson had chosen to stay in a nice hotel originally designed by Italian artisans.  The _La Scomparsa Misteriosa_ had at least twenty floors, and each floor held nothing but luxury suites.  Loralei began to wonder how Jackson could afford such a place.  He met the Donovans in a large meeting room with marble floors and a high ceiling.  The domed roof held a series of solar panels that filtered in natural light during daylight hours.  It was a lovely room, but seemed a bit cold.  Loralei was afraid to even sneeze there.  God forbid if she dirtied the place.

Donovan had taken charge of Rachel when they entered the sprawling rotunda.  Jackson stood as soon as he recognized Loralei.  Since the last time he saw her, she had changed quite a bit.  She was allowing her hair to grow long.  It now fell several inches past her shoulders.  She appeared thinner, but healthy.  Gone was the deep furrow that had developed in her forehead when she had been assisting with the BHK case.  The kid appeared to be painfully happy, and she absolutely deserved to be.  Of course, Donovan hadn't changed one iota.  His exterior was as icy as ever, but he was certain that while at home with his wife and child, his personality was significantly different.

"Damn, Kadin, you look so good," Jackson said as she gave him a warm hug.  "Kid, you're so scrawny."  He nodded toward Donovan, whose expression hadn't really changed.

She pulled away with a smile.  "Whatever, Jackson, you didn't see me when I was so hugely preggers."

"Is this the baby I've heard so much about," Jackson asked as he laid his eyes on the infant in the carry crib.  

Loralei turned to Donovan and took the crib from him.  She set it down on the table where Jackson had been sitting.  Carefully, she scooped up the sleeping infant.  "Yep.  She's beautiful, isn't she?"

Jackson took the infant in his arms before inviting them to sit at the table.  "She sure is, but I think you're biased.  Lookit all that black hair, she definitely didn't get that from you."

She smiled and ran her hand gently over the baby's head.  "She got that from Daddy, along with the skin tone."

Donovan sat back and didn't say much of anything.  He wouldn't betray his wife's wishes and be outwardly rude, but he had no desire to speak to him.  He actually didn't want Jackson holding his daughter, but he held his tongue on that one as well.  Donovan had no desire to pick a fight with his wife, especially not after what had happened between them this morning.  Yet, something seemed way out of kilter here, and he almost opened his mouth to speak, but he resisted the urge.  

"You did good, Kadin, you did really good.  What did you name her?"

"Rachel Kadin Donovan," she said.  

"Rachel," he mused, "that's really pretty."  He gave Loralei the baby, and she placed her back in the carry crib.  "What have you been up to?"

"Not much since I got pregnant.  I was in school for a little while, but had to drop out.  Frank and I had some stuff going on, and I got a little sick right before she was born.  I probably won't continue with my degree until next semester.  What about you?  Still entrenched in the grind?"

He smiled sadly.  "Always.  Do you ever miss field work?"

She glanced at the baby in her carry crib before reaching out to take Donovan's hand.  "Not really.  I wasn't very good anyway.  Life is a bit on the traditional, sedate side, but I'm perfectly happy with that."

He nodded.  "I can totally understand, and I can't blame you for that.  If I had the chance, I would leave it all behind myself."

Loralei thought that something was wrong, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.  Jackson seemed distant, but apprehensive.  She had the feeling he wanted to tell her something, but she wasn't sure he would talk in front of Donovan.  "Bart?  Are you okay," she asked, studying him.

Embarrassed, he smiled a little.  "Oh yeah.  I just needed a break, that's all.  That's why I'm here.  I'm on a little vacation," he lied smoothly.  He wanted to talk to her, wanted to tell her what was going on, but he didn't want to do it unless Donovan made himself scarce.  Kadin first.  Donovan later.  "I'm glad you came down here, kid.  It was really great seeing you again.  You have a lovely daughter."

She watched as he suddenly stood as if he wanted to make a quick departure.  "You're not leaving, are you?"

He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss atop Loralei's head.  "Yes, I'm waiting on a phone call, and I should get back to my room.  Would you mind meeting me for lunch tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes," she said.  "I'd love to."  She watched as he moved away from them.  Weird.  She turned to look at her husband.  Even he was a little confused.  "I wonder what's going on with him?"

Donovan shrugged.  "I don't know."

"Baby, I think you intimidated him.  I had the impression he wanted to talk to me, but he was hesitant."

He nodded thoughtfully.  "You're right, I probably did.  Have lunch with him tomorrow; I'll stay with Rachel.  Perhaps whatever he has to say to you, he will."  He lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently.  "Just for your information, my love, you weren't a great agent," he teased, "but you also weren't half bad.  Look at it this way, if you hadn't had that little bad streak in you, we wouldn't be here right now."

She smiled a little.  "Perhaps being a fuck up wasn't such a bad thing?"

He shook his head and kissed her hand again.  "Not at all."

Not long after Jackson disappeared, the three of them went back home.  For hours after their meeting, Loralei was disturbed and more than worried.  Something was wrong, but she didn't know what, and wasn't sure Jackson would even tell her.  That night, she didn't sleep well at all.  She suddenly felt the need to be with her baby.  She got out of bed and entered Rachel's room.  Loralei took her daughter into her arms and held her for most of the night.          


	3. A Friend In Need

CHAPTER 3—A FRIEND IN NEED

Donovan awoke shortly before six the next morning.  _How exhausted was I_, he wondered as he glanced at the empty space in bed beside him.  He hadn't heard or felt Loralei getting out of bed.  In fact, he hadn't heard Rachel crying the entire night.  He ran his hand over the empty space next to him and noticed that there was no warmth there at all.  Very unusual.  She must have been out of bed for hours.  His eyes fell on the baby monitor and he noticed that it had been turned off.  _No wonder I didn't hear her all night_. He came out of bed slowly and padded over to the dresser.  He dug out a pair of pajama bottoms and struggled into them.  He left the bedroom and noticed that the door to the baby's room was cracked open just a sliver.  Almost ghostly, the glow from a nightlight illuminated the room.  He opened the door just enough to allow his body to slip inside.  A small easy chair sat close to the crib, and he smiled a little as he noticed Loralei's body curled up in it.  How in the hell could she sleep like that?  From the crib, he heard Rachel making soft snuffling sounds.  It wouldn't be long before she exerted her presence.  Before she became madder than hell, he crept up to the crib and lifted Rachel carefully into his arms.  He took her out of the room and closed the door behind him.  

Some little something woke her up.  She wasn't quite sure what.  Perhaps it was Rachel's absence.  Perhaps she missed the tiny noises emitting from the crib.  Rachel was quite the active baby, and Loralei didn't doubt that one day, she would be a full-on rambler.  _Like mother, like daughter_, she thought tiredly.  Her muscles cried out as she straightened her body.  The easy chair was wonderful for rocking her baby to sleep, but it wasn't an object designed for comfortable sleeping.  Today, she felt every year of her age, plus some.  When she was sure she could stand, she stretched dramatically, hearing a crackle and a pop every few seconds.  This morning, she thought she might skip the bike.  She felt extraordinarily rotten.  In fact, she hadn't felt this rotten since she gave birth to Rachel.  Almost immediately after the birth, Loralei and Donovan had gotten quite the scare.  Loralei's white blood count had been relatively high.  Gentle whispers of 'cancer' began to drift into her ears.  Her doctors had even suggested that she might not have been anemic at all, but had a precancerous condition instead, as if that were any better.  Weakened and terrified, Loralei couldn't take care of her baby the first week of her life.  Although she had protested vehemently, Donovan refused to return to work, opting to stay with her and Rachel.  He wanted to take care of both her and the baby, even after Loralei's mother agreed to help out.  _No way_, he said stubbornly, _there's no way I'm leaving you like this_.  Of course, he didn't.  As it turned out, it was a false alarm.  Her illness was fixed with medication and TLC.  Within a few days, she was back to her old self.  This morning, she was experiencing the same type of exhaustion, the same feeling that something was awry.  However, she was more than certain it was due to sleeping poorly the night before.  She was worried about Jackson, worried that he was somehow in trouble.

Loralei stretched again and sighed in relief as her back gave its final, satisfying crack.  She came out of the baby's room, but didn't immediately enter the living room.  She noticed that Donovan sat on the couch with Rachel in his arms.  He had yet to see Loralei.  In a rare moment, she stood and watched him without his knowing or sensing her presence.  His thoughts were totally and completely focused on his child.  He had just fed her and was trying to coax her back to sleep.  He was singing softly to her, his voice cracking a little.  She held in a giggle.  He sounded terrible, but the picture they painted was incredibly sweet.  _If the team could see him now_, she thought with a smile.  Thoughts of grabbing a video camera and recording this event came immediately to mind.  It might make good blackmail material some day.  Of course, it didn't matter much to Rachel that her daddy's voice was horrible.  It soothed her just the same.  There was more fodder for blackmail, but she hadn't recorded it.  Upon his return after the Ortiz fiasco, he would lie snuggled in bed against her, his head resting on her chest, and he would talk to her stomach as he stroked it gently.  The first time he did it, she was quite shocked and didn't know what to think.  He had surprised her dozens of times in their marriage, and this was no exception.  It was yet another endearing quality about the so-called 'iceman' that would never be shown outside the realm of their private little family circle.  After Rachel's birth, she immediately knew her father's voice, could actually seek it out in a room.  It was the same with her.  It was the little things about their child that seemed to hold her captive in awe.

Donovan looked up at the soft _ahem_ that came from the direction of Rachel's room.  He looked up at Loralei's amused expression and held his finger up to lips in a 'shh' gesture.  Apparently, his horrible voice had done the trick.  Of course, Loralei couldn't necessarily blame the infant.  The slightest whisper, the silliest word from his mouth had quite an effect on her as well.  _Shit_, she thought_, he could whisper 'snotball' in my ear and it would turn my insides to Jello_.*  He stood and carefully walked past her to lay the baby back in her crib.  When he came back out, he took hold of her arm and brought her body against his.  He kissed her lips softly before drawing her into his embrace.  He squeezed her tightly, in no big hurry to release her.  What was it about early mornings that made him so damn affectionate?  However, she wasn't complaining at all.  The more he touched her, the better she liked it.

Almost reluctantly, he drew away from her and took her hand in his.  He led her back to the bedroom and guided her to the bed.  He climbed in behind her and wrapped his arms around her.  He kissed her ear and nuzzled the side of her throat.  "Were you in there with her all night," he asked.

She sighed in contentment.  When he was gone, she missed having his arms snuggly about her body.  She probably missed that more than she missed anything.  "Yeah.  I'm a little worried about Bart.  That meeting yesterday shook me up a bit.  He didn't seem like his old self at all.  For some reason, I couldn't stay away from the baby.  I just felt the need to hold her, to be near her.  I hope that today, he'll tell me what's going on.  I certainly can't sleep in that chair another night."

"I certainly don't want you to," he said before placing another gentle kiss on her ear.  "We each have had separate lives, separate past experiences, and most of them have been shared between us.  A few times, there have been incidents where we've kept certain things hidden."  His stabbing a few months back came immediately to mind.  "If he is in trouble, I don't want you to go off half-cocked trying to solve the problem.  You have a big heart, my love, and you've done so much, but you've also gotten hurt in the process.  I don't want you to withhold anything that might ultimately cause you harm.  You don't have to tell me everything you do, it's not necessary.  I trust you and your judgment.  I only ask that if this seems serious, bring it to me, and together, we'll figure something out.  He's a part of the agency, and it wouldn't take much to get the team involved.  Will you do that?  Will you come to me?"

"I will," she whispered.  "I promise."

He kissed her ear yet one more time.  "Good."  He pulled back away from her and stood.  

Curiously, she propped up on her elbow and glanced at him.  "Where are you going," she asked.

"Don't you think I see how exhausted you are?  I want you to get some sleep.  I'll take care of everything else.  Don't move, don't budge, don't anything.  I'll close the door behind me to make sure that nothing disturbs you.  Rest.  Sleep as long as you want."

*  *  *

Loralei's eyes slowly came open.  She glanced once at the clock and noticed it was almost ten in the morning.  She had slept about as long as her body would allow.  Since Rachel had come into her life, her body worked on a bizarre internal clock.  She wasn't accustomed to sleeping as much as she wanted, not anymore.  Sleeping past six or so was considered a rare luxury.  Of course, there were a few quiet moments here and there, and she would try to catch up on as much sleep as she could.  But it wasn't easy.  Donovan was a major help in the childcare area.  He didn't seem to think changing, feeding, or spending time with the baby would cross his eyes.  Still, on occasion, she would have the job of caring for Rachel entirely by herself.  She didn't mind.  She loved her baby with all her heart, but every now and then, Donovan made sure she had some breathing time.  She loved him even more for that.  She swung her legs over the side of bed and took her time about moving around the room.  She saw a piece of paper folded up and taped to the mirrored door of the closet.  Curiously, she walked over to it and yanked it down.  _LD, I was informed this a.m. that most of our caseload is pending.  We probably won't receive anything new for a few days_, Donovan had scribbled, _So, I thought I'd take Rachel down to the Nest & do my own share of crowing.  BTW, Jackson called & wants you to meet him @ the restaurant in the hotel @ 11:30.  Love, hugs, & all that mushy shit…FD_.  She laughed a little and folded the note.  _LD and FD_, she thought, _secret code names_.  How funny.  Taking note of the time, Loralei went about getting herself together for her lunch date.

*  *  *

The restaurant at the hotel was even more decadent than the meeting room.  It reminded her a little of pictures she had seen of the Russian Tea Room.  It seemed as if everything in the place was a deep redwood color including the carpets, walls, chairs, booths, etc.  It was a totally different atmosphere than the pristine rotunda.  Yet, Loralei still felt uncomfortable.  She wondered what type of infraction would send her sailing out the door?  She tended to be a bit on the clumsy side.  What if she were to spill her drink or her food or [God forbid] red wine?  The thought struck her as deliciously funny, and she had to hold back a stream of giggles.  The other patrons glanced at her curiously.  _Quit it, LD, quit it_.  Thinking of her secret 'code name' sent her off again, and she literally had to cover her mouth.  What the hell was wrong with her?  Was she losing her mind?  Was there such a thing as postpartum insanity?  Oh God.  Oh dear God.  Where was her husband when she needed him?  He had quite the unique way of cutting off her giggles.  Of course, most of the time, his trick couldn't readily be done in public, but he had his ways.

She approached a cute little hostess standing behind a podium.  "Excuse me," Loralei finally managed to say, "I'm here to meet Bart Jackson."

The woman checked her reservation chart.  "Oh yes," she said smiling over brightly.  "He hasn't arrived yet, but I could seat you if you'd like."

Mutely, Loralei followed the hostess to a booth toward the back.  After giving Loralei a menu and taking her drink order, she left.  Loralei sat down and casually perused the menu.  Good old-fashioned Italian food.  Everything looked amazing, and she would have to be very careful or she'd end up having to cycle ten extra miles.  The hostess brought out her drink and she sipped it tentatively while waiting for Jackson to show up.  She glanced down at her watch and noticed that it was 11:35.  He was running a little late, but it was no big deal.  She resumed looking over the menu and sipping at her drink.  Before she knew it, it was 11:45, then 12:00.  The last time she glanced at her watch, it was 12:30.  No Bart.  Concerned, Loralei left some money on the table and made her way back to the hostess station.  There were no messages for either Loralei Donovan or Loralei Kadin.  She left the restaurant and made her way back toward the main lobby.  She went over to the check-in desk and asked the clerk to ring Jackson's room.  She grew even more concerned when the clerk reported that there was no answer.  Odd.  Very odd indeed.  Jackson was a fastidious person, and would never stand up a date unless there were extenuating circumstances.  Not sure what avenue to travel, Loralei left a message for Jackson to call her.

Since she was already out and about, she decided to drop in on Donovan.  The moment she stepped into the Nest, she could hear a couple of familiar voices making a big fuss over the baby.  If this continued to happen, Rachel would become quite the spoiled little girl.  The voices she heard belonged to Cody and Alex, Cody's more prominent than Alex's.  She vaguely wondered where Jake and Monica were.  She noticed Donovan leaned up against the conference table gazing amusedly at Cody as he made some of the goofiest faces at the baby.  Rachel probably couldn't even see him that well yet.  Donovan looked up at Loralei as she entered the room.  Although she was amused on the outside, he could sense that something was out of kilter.  They exchanged a brief, but knowing look.  He knew immediately that she needed to speak to him.  Before he could approach her, both Alex and Cody noticed Loralei.  

"Wow, Loralei," Cody began.  "Who would have thought the boss had it in him to make such a cute kid.  She must have gotten her looks from you."

Amused, Donovan said nothing.  He fixed his usual, deadpan gaze on Cody's face.  What else did he expect?  "You're probably right," he said.  

Alex approached Loralei and gave her a brief hug.  "Been a while since I've seen you around.  You look great."

"Lots of cycling," she said.  Donovan flashed an amused glance her way.  _Cycling and…other things_, the look seemed to say.  She directed her gaze off Donovan's face.  She again found herself thinking that if she continued to look at him, her composure would be flushed down the toilet.  "Would you guys mind keeping an eye on Rachel for us?  I need a couple minutes with Frank."

"You know," Cody said, "we take down bad guys every day.  I think we can handle the Donovan baby, as long as she doesn't glare at me while doing that eyebrow thing that the fearless leader bestows."

She laughed a little.  "Thanks, Cody.  You're a doll, really."  

As she walked past him toward Donovan, she stopped and gave Cody a peck on the cheek.  His face pinked considerably.  Wow, a kiss from the boss' wife.  Good lord.  He didn't want his face knocked off like Double Vision's.  

Once upstairs, Donovan closed the door behind them.  He watched solemnly as Loralei hopped onto the top of his desk, swinging her legs back and forth like a child.  She was quite nervous and jumpy.  Something was definitely going on.  "Loralei, what happened?"

She stopped swinging her legs and placed her hands on her knees.  "He didn't show up.  I waited for more than an hour, and he never came.  I went up to the check-in desk and rang his room, but he didn't answer the phone.  It was the weirdest thing, Frank.  Jackson wouldn't cancel the date without calling first.  Besides, he must have intended to be there, because he called before you left.  I don't know.  It just feels kind of weird."

He approached her and leaned against the desk.  Facing her, he asked, "Do you think something may have happened to him?"  She didn't say anything immediately, so he continued, "Maybe he had to leave suddenly.  You know the life, baby, a call can come in anytime.  He may not have had time to leave a message."

She sighed.  He said those words to comfort her, to keep her from worrying.  It was no use.  She knew Jackson, had known him longer than she had known her husband.  He wouldn't do it, even if he had gotten an emergency phone call.  He would have left a message regardless of the situation.  "I know the life.  I know what can happen, but I'm certain that Jackson wouldn't just pick up and disappear without leaving a message.  He is quite meticulous, Frank.  Not as much as you, of course, but he just wouldn't.  I know it.  He wasn't even working.  Remember our meeting with him yesterday?  He said he was on vacation.  There was no mission, no job.  Bart probably wouldn't tell his superiors where he was, especially if he needed a break from it all.  I'm worried, Frank.  Worried and scared."  She sighed.  "I'm thinking that I may be overreacting, but I can't help it."

He placed one of his hands over hers.  "Loralei, I'm sure that in a couple of days, he'll call you from wherever he is to apologize profusely for standing you up today.  Would it ease your mind if I have Cody to dig around a little?  Maybe he can find something.  I can't make any promises, but it couldn't hurt."

She nodded.  "I'd like that.  You know me, I'm going to fret if I can fret."

He grinned a little.  "No shit."  He moved his hand and placed it on the side of her cheek.  He drew her face toward his and kissed her lips gently.  "Go home and get some more sleep.  I'll be there within a couple of hours.  Maybe by the time I get home, this mystery will be solved."

She returned his kiss and drew away reluctantly.  "I'm not going to argue with you on that one.  I'm wrecked.  Just don't let Cody spoil Rachel too much today, huh?"

Loralei made her way downstairs with Donovan following closely behind.  She stopped briefly to place a gentle kiss on Rachel's forehead.  Before she could make her way out the door, Alex announced that she would walk Loralei to her car.  The two women had gotten no further than a couple of steps away from the earshot of the men when Loralei stopped.

"Okay, Alex, spill it.  Why did you want to walk me out," Loralei asked.

"Well," she said with a little smile.  "I don't exactly want Donovan to find out, especially considering my past history, but…"

"But what?  Don't leave me hanging."

She sighed.  "God, I can't believe this.  I went out with Farron last night."

Loralei's eyes grew wide in astonishment.  "Farron?  You went out with Farron?  How in the world did that happen?"

She shrugged.  "I have no idea.  He called, I accepted, we went out.  I have no idea if I'll ever go again, but I had to tell somebody.  Whatever you do, don't breathe a word to your old man.  He might not like it that much."

After profusely promising not to say a word to her husband, Alex allowed Loralei to leave.  For the first time in a couple of days, her mind drifted away from Bart Jackson.  She shook her head incredulously.  Farron and Alex.  Who would have thought?

***  *  ***

***Yet another inside joke.  Other obsessed Oded fans and I have mused relentlessly about the way he speaks and how he says certain words.  Seriously, he _could _say 'snotball' and I'd like it!!!!!  Hahaha!  **


	4. A Not So Welcome Phone Call

CHAPTER 4—A NOT SO WELCOME PHONE CALL

Two hours after Loralei returned home, Donovan returned as promised.  Before putting the baby down, he peeked into the bedroom and saw that Loralei was passed right out.  Once Rachel was tucked away snuggly, he returned to the bedroom and flicked on the baby monitor.  He then crawled onto the bed behind her as much as he had done earlier today.  The moment he touched her, she moaned a little in her sleep and scooted her body closer to his.  There were a few things he needed to tell her, but he didn't have the heart to wake her up.  It could wait.  His news would only cause her to obsess even more about this puzzling situation.  He felt his own exhaustion setting in, and within moments, he had drifted off to sleep.

*  *  *

His office was cluttered, and he hated clutter.  It reminded him too much of _her_.  It wasn't that she was necessarily messy, but she was clumsier than a newborn giraffe learning to walk.  If he wanted something broken, crumpled, messed up, or ruined, give it to _her_, and she would take care of it.  His office was in such disarray because he had lost something he needed.  If he didn't find it, he would have to find another way to cover his ass.  The 'other way' would include finding _her _and convincing _her _to help.  Of course, he didn't think that would be possible.  She was married now and had recently had a child.  Yet, if he were to dangle a carrot in front of her, she _might _consent to giving a bit of assistance.  It was an agency thing, and the thought that Donovan would become involved had crossed his mind more than once.  He wasn't very fond of her husband, and he really didn't know much about him.  Information was scant, but he had enough clearance to dig a little.  It wouldn't matter much to him if Donovan did become ensconced [when it came to _her_, he would not stay away], and he was certain that Donovan would stick his nose in where it didn't belong.  He would avoid Donovan as much as possible.  He and his team were pretty good at exposing dirty deeds, and his was one he didn't want dug up.  Not yet.  There was still much he needed to do before he could take an early retirement and disappear forever.  His mind went back to Frank Donovan specifically.  The thought of his presence irritated him.  It had been bad when she first started fucking the guy, but it was worse when she admitted it.  He hadn't attended the wedding [hell, he hadn't been invited], and really hadn't wanted to if the truth were known.  He didn't know how he felt about seeing _her _marrying the uptight SOU leader.  _Her_.  He didn't even want to speak her name.  It turned his stomach a little just thinking about it.The thought of her actually reproducing with the fuck didn't set well with him, either.  _Goddamn_.  He wondered how Donovan would react once he approached _her_ to ask for assistance?  If she didn't agree, he would have to take other, more abrupt measures.  Of course, those 'measures' were messy and would leave an enormous paper trail.  _What was I thinking_, he wondered.  Why had he put all his trust in Bart Jackson?  Why had Jackson been so smart?  If he hadn't stumbled on his private files, none of this would have ever happened.  He cackled a little crazily in the silence of his office.  What was it that profilers were fond of saying with regard to serial killers?  Those sick fucks started making mistakes as a way of calling for help.  _Shit.  Fuck.  Fuck.  Shit_.  He didn't want help, not the kind that would lead to disrupting his double life anyway.  He would accept help, but it would have to come on _his_ terms, and _his_ only.

Quietly, he turned toward his cluttered desk.  He began putting away the strewn papers.  A horrid thought entered his mind.  What if Jackson had had his file in his possession?  No one had mentioned seeing it.  If he had taken the file to _her_, wouldn't he already know by now?  Wouldn't he already have his balls in the fire?  What about Donovan?  Wouldn't that prick have paid a visit?  He was fairly confident that if it all came down around his feet, the UC team might be called in to fix this.  His superior was in love with the SOU, and he threw them in the mix whenever he was given the opportunity.  Also, his dirty little secrets had a little to do with Donovan's wife.  He didn't doubt that Donovan would probably commit murder if a person even _attempted_ to hurt her.  He began stuffing the shit on his desk in vacant drawers and into the filing cabinet.  Once his desktop was thankfully clutter-free, he sat down at his computer.  He had access to numerous files.  His status had given him ultimate clearance.  Sighing, he typed in _her_ name and her file sprang up almost instanteously.  He reviewed each and every transfer request she had made during her tenure with ICD.  There seemed to be dozens of them.  He saw DENIED so many times his head spun.  It was Jackson's fault that she had gotten her final transfer request.  Dratted Jackson again.  When he first heard of Jackson's affinity for _her_, he thought that the senior agent might have been interested in a little more than 'helping' her.  The thought of that disturbed him a little.  He didn't want anyone to be 'interested' in her.  Of course, that thought quickly went away when he realized that Jackson was more like an older brother to her.  Why she had wanted to work the BHK case never made sense to him.  Her experience as a field agent was almost nil.  Yet, Jackson insisted.  She should have stayed with ICD.  If she had, things would have worked out quite nicely.  Hell no.  She _couldn't _stay with ICD.  She had to go off on a complicated field assignment that turned into a full-fledged slap-and-tickle fest with Frank Donovan.  It was a bad thing.  It was a very bad thing.  He groaned aloud.  _I must stop this.  I must get my shit together for the phone call_.  Another horrid thought struck him.  What if she refused to see him?  It was possible.  Their past relationship hadn't been all peachy keen, at least on her end.  She didn't quite understand, though, did she?  He hadn't had much of an opportunity to test the waters.  He disgusted _her_, and she preferred the company of that fucking SOU leader.  _Goddamn.  Goddamn.  Got to get this shit off my mind so I can finish the job.  Finish the job.  Finish the job.  Yep, that's what I'll do…finish the job_.

*  *  *

Loralei opened her eyes slowly.  She thought she had felt Donovan's arms about her, but again, was certain she had been dreaming.  _Goody, I wasn't_, she thought.  She glanced briefly at the bedside clock.  Ugh.  Four-thirty.  If Rachel decided not to be particularly active tonight, she would have trouble getting to sleep.  For a few moments, she had completely forgotten her missed lunch date with Jackson.  Her mind was still seized by sleep and exhaustion, and she couldn't focus on much of anything.  Her husband's body against hers brought thoughts of Jackson back to the surface.  She itched to wake him up and ask.  As much as Donovan before her, she didn't have the heart.  He was as exhausted as she, probably more so.  She didn't immediately free herself of his embrace.  She wasn't necessarily afraid to awaken him.  It was more like not wanting to leave the comfort of his arms.  However, she knew that fairly shortly, Rachel was sure to wake up and not so politely demand attention.  Carefully, she drew away from him.  He had a tight hold on her body, and it wasn't as easy as she expected.  Goofy giggles attempted to bubble up in her throat.  She finally wrenched her body free and slipped out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She crept into the baby's room and as she had suspected, Rachel was already awake.  For now, she wasn't doing much other than making her cute little snuffling noises.  She knew the baby would begin wailing indignantly, ready to inflict her discomfort on anyone close enough to listen.  She whispered softly to the infant as she scooped her up into her arms.  Her mother had warned her not to hold Rachel too much.  _You'll spoil her, Loralei, just wait and see_, Geneva Kadin had said.  _Eh, shaddup, Mother_.  She didn't think a baby could he held and/or hugged enough.  Since she had lost a baby, she intended to expend twice the love and attention on this one.  She carried Rachel back into the bedroom where Donovan was still passed out.  She climbed back onto the bed with Rachel in her arms.  Gently, she lay the baby down between her and Donovan.  He needed an up close and personal wakeup call.  Rachel lay between her parents cooing and gurgling happily.

At the sound of his infant daughter, Donovan woke up a little.  At first, he thought the noise was coming from the baby monitor almost against his head.  When he looked across from him at Loralei, he noticed that she had brought the baby in with her.  He leaned up a little and kissed Loralei's lips very gently.  "I thought she sounded a little close," he said sleepily.

"Couldn't help bringing her in," she said with a smile.  "I like having her close to me."

He kissed her again before he gently began caressing the top of the baby's head.  She seemed to enjoy the gentle touch of her father's hand and she began to gurgle even more.  "Me too."

Sighing heavily, her smile faded a little.  "Did you find out anything?"

Although he knew it was a moot thought, he had hoped Bart Jackson would have slipped her mind.  No such chance.  Not with his wife.  "I had Cody check it out, Loralei, but he didn't find any type of assignment for Jackson.  In fact, he has been inactive for a few weeks."

"Inactive," she asked in confusion.  "Isn't that just a nice way of saying he left?"  Although Loralei had resigned right after she was released from the hospital, her own status was still 'inactive.'  Hadn't Jackson spoken just the slightest bit wistfully when he had asked if she missed fieldwork?  Hadn't she thought the sound of his voice odd?

"Either that or he was suspended.  Maybe that's what he was trying to tell you," he said.  "There was nothing else out there."

Loralei reached down and took Rachel's tiny hand into hers.  She ran her thumb over her delicate little fingers.  For a moment, she had to get her eyes off Donovan's face.  She didn't want him to see the concern in her own.  What the hell was going on with Jackson?  It didn't matter that she had looked away.  He knew what was going on inside her.  It didn't take much to uncover her inner turmoil.  He hadn't wanted to say anything, but he also hadn't wanted to break his promise to dig for information.  If something had been out there, she would have surely uncovered it, and then been pissed at him for weeks.  He knew she appreciated his overprotective behavior every once in a while, but she didn't tolerate it often.  This wasn't the time or place.  Donovan moved his hand from the baby's head and reached down to take her other tiny fist.  Her skin was so smooth and perfect.  

Without making direct eye contact with her husband, Loralei said, "I've been thinking about something, Frank."  Once the words were out of her mouth, she looked up at him.  He was studying her curiously, as if he knew what she was going to say.  _Damn him_, she thought, _he probably does_.  "Maybe I should give Director Casey a call.  He might give me some information."

He gave her a startled expression, and she watched in disdain as his forehead crinkled up.  _Here it goes_.  "Director Casey?  Isn't he the one who wanted to boot you over to another regional office?  Do you think he would even speak to you?"

She shrugged nonchalantly.  He had a point.  Director Chance Casey didn't exactly like her.  He _tolerated_ her when she was still with the ICD, but after Jackson had pushed for her to go into the field, he had begun to literally hate her.  She recalled the day she went to Casey to confess that she had been sleeping with Donovan from the very beginning of her 'assignment.'  His face had gone an alarming scarlet color, and he had clenched his fists so tightly that his perfectly manicured nails dug bloody grooves in his hand.  She knew he had been tempted to start calling her names, but he resisted.  Instead, he demanded that she either transfer or resign.  _Your behavior and actions were completely and totally out of line_, he had snarled.  _How will I ever trust you again?  How will I ever know that you won't sleep with the next guy you work with?  Can you tell me that?  Can you make any guarantees?  _His words had been harsh and hurtful, so much more than if he had called her a nasty name.  In fact, she would have preferred it.  _I won't continue it after this is over_, she had promised.  _I'll take the transfer.  I **want** the transfer.  _Of course, she had lied not only to Casey, but to herself as well.  She had chosen to quit, and when she had actually taken steps to leave, Casey grew even angrier.  _Fuck you and fuck this.  I wouldn't trade what I have with Frank for fifteen more years in the Bureau_, she had said.  She had meant it.  She had never looked back.

"Loralei?"

Donovan's voice drew her out of her dream world.  She met his gaze.  "He might.  He knew how close Jackson and I are.  It won't bother me speaking to him.  Our _disagreement_ happened quite some time ago, and I'm not as easily intimidated by him as I was.  I want to call him, I need answers, and I won't rest until I do it."

From the living room, the phone began to ring.  Donovan reached over to the table on his side of the bed and picked up the extension.  "Hello."  A pause.  "Who?"  Another pause.  "I see.  Yes, she's here."  He held his hand over the phone and looked at her with a puzzled expression.  "You're not going to believe this," he said.  "It's Director Casey."  With her own puzzled expression, she took the phone.  "Do you want privacy," he asked.

She shook her head.  "No.  Stay, please."  She put the phone up to her ear, wondering if Casey had somehow read her mind.  "Director Casey.  How are you?"

_How am I_, he thought.  _How so very contrite of her.  Bitch.  _"I'm fine, Kadin."  He refused to think of her as 'Donovan.'  "I'd like to set up a meeting with you in a few days.  There is a matter I think we need to discuss."

She was close to asking if 'the matter' had anything to do with Jackson.  She didn't want to 'meet' with Casey.  The thought was quite distasteful.  "Of course.  Name the time and the place."

Her voice was tentative, but not quite meek.  _I must still disgust her_, he thought.  "Do you think your husband would mind if we met at UC headquarters?  I think it would be the best place to meet.  Our discussion doesn't need to fall upon the ears of the general public."

With a pang, she noticed that he had said the words 'your husband' as if he were spitting venom.  _Get over it, you fucker.  He's my husband, and there's nothing you can say about it now._  "I'm not sure," she said.  "Hang on."  She looked at Donovan.  He was still studying her curiously, his forehead frozen in its annoyed furrow.  "He wants to have a meeting with me, at the Nest," she whispered.  He lifted his eyebrow and shrugged.  "That should work out okay.  We'll meet in two days around 2:00?"

_How sweet.  She had to ask her hubby for permission to meet_.  "Wonderful, Kadin.  Thank you.  I'll see you then."  Without another word, he hung up in her ear.  

Loralei hit the 'talk' button and handed the phone back to Donovan.  He replaced it back onto the charger and fixed his eyes on her face again.  "I'm almost positive that he wants to speak about Jackson, but he really didn't say.  It was bizarre, Frank.  He sounds like he's still pissed off about us.  It was weird."  She laughed bitterly.  "What am I saying?  This whole thing has been weird."

Donovan sighed deeply and chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully.  "At least he wanted to meet on fairly neutral ground, Loralei.  What I don't understand is why he has a desire to speak with you?  You don't have any more information than he does.  Why would he bother calling _you_?  I can understand you wanting to call, but not him."

She shrugged.  "I don't know, Frank.  Director Casey is a prick, he always was.  I hope this meeting will answer a few of my questions."

He sighed again and opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it abruptly, only to open it again.  "I know you're not going to like what I'm about to say," he began.  

Right away, Loralei recognized the prefacing words.  He normally said them before proceeding with something horridly sexist.  He needed a bright yellow 'SOM' [Super Overprotective Man] on his chest.  "You're probably right, I won't," she said softly.  She couldn't exactly feel annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Loralei.  I can't help it, and I'm not going to hold my tongue.  I hope he _can_ answer your questions so that you won't continue to obsess about this.  You don't need the stress or the worry.  I don't like what this has done to you in the past couple of days.  I don't like it and I want it to stop."

_Now_ she was annoyed.  "I don't like it, either.  You have your issues with him, Frank, and that's fine.  The man is like my brother, you know this, I've said it repeatedly.  I agree that I've been obsessing about this, but I can't help _that_.  If I didn't feel that something was terribly wrong, I'd let it go.  I _can't_, and I would think that at least _you _could understand."

The discord between her parents was upsetting Rachel.  The tinny noises emitting from her throat were those that began right before her blatting cries started.  Sensing this, Donovan picked her up and carried her back to her crib.  After lingering long enough for a quick diaper change, he returned.  Loralei was sitting cross-legged on the bed.  He hadn't intended for this comfortable, loving, family moment to become a full-blown argument.  Quietly, he approached the bed and sat down to face her.

"Loralei," he began, "I understand.  I do.  Right now, you're angry, and I have no intention of saying anything that might be misconstrued.  I want to explain why I feel this way, why I've always felt this way where you're concerned.  You have no idea what it's like for me to watch you suffer.  You can't know what I felt the day I saw you die or the repercussions that followed before I knew you were alive.  You can't know how much seeing you grieve killed me when we lost the first baby.  You don't know, you _couldn't _know, just like I don't know what you feel when you see me hurt.  We read each other well and can almost identify every emotion that exists between us, but we don't know it all.  No one can.  I think of that whenever there is some potential, however slight, that you'll be hurt again.  Everything you experience, _I_ experience.  _Everything_, Loralei, _every damn thing_.  I've known you long enough, loved you long enough, to confidently say that it's the same for you."  When she didn't immediately say anything [she couldn't, he had effectively surprised her again], he took her hands in his.  "Have this meeting, do what you must, just know that if my actions annoy you, I do it because I love you so damn much.  Do _you_ understand _that_?"

Mutely, she nodded.  He had the ability to render her speechless, and he had done it again.  He _could_ read her, just as he could read him.  At that moment, Donovan wasn't the only one who hoped that the meeting with Casey would put an end to her worry.  However, some little tug, some little inherent nudge, told her that her worry was just beginning.   


	5. Tense Meetings

CHAPTER 5—TENSE MEETINGS

The night of her slight argument with Donovan, Loralei found that she couldn't sleep.  She didn't immediately notice if her husband was sleeping or not.  For a change, Rachel decided to leave her parents alone outside her usual feedings and diaper changes.  It was as if she sensed that the atmosphere from earlier that evening had somehow overlapped into the night.  Loralei had lain flat on her back for a couple of hours and stared at the ceiling.  Every few minutes, she'd glance at Donovan.  His back was to her, and he was inhaling/exhaling slowly, as if he were asleep.  She wanted to talk to him a little more, to tell him she understood his concern, that she would never fail to appreciate his overprotective behavior [even if it did annoy her to no end].  She didn't make one move toward saying anything.  He was asleep, and she had no intention of waking him.  Besides, Rachel would probably take care of that soon enough.  Sighing heavily, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and drew her body up to her feet.  What she didn't know was that Donovan wasn't asleep.

He felt her body moving off the bed, jostling it gently.  He watched as her silhouette walked around the room before ducking out the door completely.  The last few hours had been slightly tense between them, and he absolutely didn't enjoy having arguments with her.  He actually hadn't wanted their conversation earlier to even _be_ an argument.  What he wanted more than anything was to sit up with her and talk it out until they both passed out from exhaustion.  Of course, that wasn't to be.  Loralei appeared to be talked right out.  Right after he had laid his heart out before her [as he had done many times], she had grown a bit quiet and withdrawn.  He wasn't sure if her tension was directed toward him or the situation at hand.  He meant what he said to her.  She had suffered enough in the name of others, including her former partner.  Was it such a bad thing for him to feel the way he did?  Could she fault him for that?  _Had_ she faulted him for that?  He wanted to get out of bed and seek her out, but he hesitated.  She appeared to need a little time alone.

Loralei had settled her body onto the couch, thinking that she might fall asleep quicker if her husband wasn't next to her.  She couldn't tolerate the cloud of discord that hung, unmoving, over their bed.  She couldn't even bring herself to wake Donovan just to speak to him.  Besides, this issue wasn't such a big deal.  It _shouldn't_ have been one at all.  Yet, she was unbending.  Somehow, Donovan's inflexibility had entered her and refused to leave.  She wouldn't be happy until she knew what the deal was with Jackson.  If she never found out, it might drive her insane [_or toward divorce court_].  _Damn it_.  She couldn't fathom that idea at all, didn't even want to _consider_ it.  She needed to do something that would relax her, she just didn't know what.  Reading?  Writing?  Surfing the Internet?  Nothing.  She thought of going in with Rachel again, but the baby needed to sleep as much as she did.  Perhaps a nice warm bath would do the trick.  Yes.  She hadn't taken a long leisurely bath in months.  She actually hadn't had time for one.  She would let Donovan listen for the baby while she did it.  She lifted her body off the couch and moved back toward the darkened bedroom.

Donovan focused his eyes on her silhouette again as she reentered the bedroom.  Curiously, he watched as she went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  He heard the rush of water minutes after she entered.  She was drawing a bath.  She did that when she was having a particularly bad night.  Donovan closed his eyes again, once more attempting to go to sleep.  However, he couldn't let it go, not now, not ever.  He slowly got out of bed and approached the bathroom door.  He opened it a tiny crack and noticed that she hadn't even heard the creaking noise.  She seemed lost in some type of daze.  Totally devoid of clothing, she stood leaning over the bathroom counter.  Struck by her gentle beauty [as he always was], he couldn't make one single move, not at first, anyway.  He opened the door a bit wider, hoping she would hear and turn to notice him.  However, the pounding intensity of the water splashing into the tub drowned out the noise.  Right then at that very moment, he literally ached to make it right, ached to make love to her.

Loralei snapped out of her daze after a few moments.  If she didn't turn off the water, the tub would overflow onto the floor.  _Great.  Another mess.  It's all I need right now_.  She moved away from the counter and leaned down toward the bathtub.  She reached over and shut off the faucet.  There was probably too much water in the tub already.  _Ugh.  Nothing is working right tonight_.  She straightened up and then suddenly felt the solid wall of Donovan's body behind her.  Her heart began to race in her chest, and a scream was just behind her lips.  She was glad she hadn't let it rip.  Their neighbors probably would have called the police.  

"Goddamn it, Frank," she whispered, "I wish you wouldn't _do _that," she said through clenched teeth.

He was relieved to note that the hostility in her voice was forced.  He buried his face into her hair and his hands came up around her waist.  They eventually moved up to her breasts where they lingered.  She felt him growing hard against her, and although she didn't really want to give him the satisfaction, she groaned a little anyway.  She couldn't help it.  His touch drove her completely nuts.  He pulled her back against him, holding onto her tightly, without even hinting that he wanted to let her go.  He tried to pull her backward, toward the bed, but she resisted.

"Uh uh," she moaned.

At first, he didn't understand.  He thought she was trying to refuse him, but something about the way she uttered 'uh uh' made him think otherwise.  He completely understood what she wanted.  Instead of trying to draw her backward, he proceeded to push her forward until her body was almost against the counter.  She lifted her leg and rested her knee against the edge of the counter.  She was certain that later, she would likely regret the awkward position, but at the moment, she didn't give a ripe fuck.  She wanted him, and she couldn't wait another second.  One arm remained wrapped around her waist while the other slid down to allow his hand to tightly grip the side of her hip.  Hungrily, crazily, wildly, he entered her from behind as an animalistic groan ripped from the very depths of his throat.  Once more, he lost himself in her, and would have been perfectly happy if he were never found again.

*  *  *

It was fairly early when Jake sauntered into the office.  He had no idea what possessed him to come in at this hour.  Every now and then, he preferred waiting until the last minute before deciding to go into work.  Donovan and Cody were usually the first to arrive, followed by Monica and Alex.  This morning, Jake was pretty sure he would be the first in the office.  However, he was quite wrong.  When he entered the heart of the operation, he was shocked to see that Alex had beaten him to the punch.  What was even worse was that Donovan's brother was there with her.  _What the fuck_?  He had never liked Farron Donovan, and this morning, he was damn close to hating him.  _Just because your brother forgave you doesn't mean I have to tolerate you_.  What did the prick think he was doing?  He was a goddamn former drug trafficker who had basically made himself at home in the headquarters of a Special Ops team with more than close ties to the FBI [the very people who wanted to bring him and his buddies down].  _You have a lot of nerve_.  Of course, something else was disturbing him even more.  He stood back and crossed his arms over his chest and watched the little duo dynamic unfolding before him.  Alex and Farron were standing close together, almost touching, but not quite.  Both seemed to be trying to be very careful and watchful.  They were undoubtedly watching out for the boss.  Donovan might not take kindly to his brother hitting on one of his agents.  Yet, Alex didn't seem very damn put off by Farron's obvious flirting behavior.  She was _smiling _at him, and he was returning it.  Although they appeared to be keeping watch, they seemed totally into each other.  What the hell?  He had often thought in the past that the world had gone mad.  Today, he had begun to think the same thing.  Farron Donovan, ex-drug trafficker, sleazy twin brother of Frank mixed up with Alex, current SO agent with only a few marks on her record, but nothing to write home about.  He wasn't certain why their interaction was bothering him so much.  He wanted to clear his throat to break it up a little, but he couldn't force the sound out of his throat.  His eyes were riveted on them [more on Farron, if the truth were known].  His opinion of Farron was one that wouldn't change any time soon:  once a sleaze, always a sleaze.  Instead of clearing his throat or speaking, he turned away from the spectacle they had created, and he went about his usual morning work routine without glancing at them again.  They would notice him soon enough.  He hoped Farron hung around long enough for Donovan to see him.  _That_ would be completely interesting.  He grinned at the thought.

"I really should go.  My brother will probably make an appearance at any second now," Farron said.  He cocked his eyebrow quizzically.  "Tonight?"

Alex smiled a little.  "Uh, I don't know.  Depends on what the fearless leader digs up for us.  There aren't any new cases, so we should be good to go.  How about I call you?"

_Tonight_, Jake thought.  He had almost turned around in his seat.  _Uh uh.  No way.  I can't let them shake me up like that_.  Were they dating?  Was that it?  Vaguely, he wondered how long this thing had been in the works.  He hadn't been aware that Alex was even _attracted_ to the guy.  How could she?  He was a basic carbon copy of the boss.  If Donovan had had a twin sister instead of a brother, he didn't think he could realistically kiss her without thinking of Donovan.  Shit.  _Don't even go there_.  

"I'll be waiting," Farron said before giving her a brief kiss on the lips [the sound of which forced Jake to jerk around suddenly].  He turned away from Alex and that was when he finally noticed Jake hiding out in the corner of the room.  The sight was an amusing one.  He wondered how long he had been looming in the shadows listening to them.  "Good morning, Agent Shaw," he said.  At the mention of Jake's name, Alex turned around.  "You should have come over and said hello."

Jake fixed his dark eyes on Farron's face.  A sarcastic, almost bitter grin touched his lips.  God, how he hated this fucker.  "I would have if I had cared for the company," he said, his voice tinged with a sound that could only be described as smarmy.  "You know, you hang out here more than you do at your own job," he chided.  "What is it that you do again?  Pharmaceuticals?  Or something to do with, oh, I don't know, drugs?"

Farron chuckled.  "Very mature of you, Agent Shaw.  Who and where I choose to visit is none of your business.  Good day."  

"Good day to you, too, dickhead," he growled as Farron strolled out the building.  Slowly, Jake came out of his 'hiding place' and fixed his eyes on Alex.  He figured she might be angry, but she wasn't.  She was smiling a little.  Her amusement brought his blood to an even quicker boil.  "You're dating this guy, Alex?  Jesus, what were you _thinking_?"

Her smile didn't falter.  In fact, it widened.  "I don't know, Jake.  It's one of those things that just kind of happened."

Alex's smile was still irking the shit out of him.  "Doesn't it weird you out?  Isn't dating him like messing around with Donovan?"

She shook her head.  "Nope.  He's quite different.  He looks like the boss, but that's all."

Jake wanted to say more, wanted to venture into his feelings a little deeper.  He hesitated.  It wasn't the right time, not really.  If he were to say something now, she would think he was a jealous prick or something, and he was far from that.  _Or are you_, a little voice stated in the very back of his mind.  Hell no.  He couldn't go there, not in a million billion years.  He kept his opinion to himself [for now, anyway].  Besides, who said their relationship would progress any further than a few dates?  Alex was a sensible woman, and she wouldn't fall for Farron's line for long, and Farron had a line.  Guys like him always did.  He rolled his eyes at her as if he was saying 'whatever,' and turned away.  He had to find something to occupy his mind before he picked a fight with Alex, and he didn't have any intention to do that.  _Not yet, anyway_.  Another thought entered his mind.  What if he were to approach Donovan with this?  He didn't necessarily intend to tell him that Alex was dating his brother, but what if he were to mention that Farron had been hanging around?  Of course, he wasn't certain that Farron had come more than once, but with the 'cozy' way he acted with Alex, he probably had.  Would those intentions rock the boat too much?  _Fuck it_, he thought.  If she wanted to get mixed up with the likes of Farron Donovan, it wasn't any of his business.  Let her go.  Let her do it.  She would eventually learn.

*  *  *

A bit before one, Loralei entered the office.  Earlier, Donovan had told the team that the FBI director would be meeting with his wife that afternoon.  The team wasn't surprised to see her, but of course, they [especially Cody] immediately began looking for the baby.

"Sorry guys, I had to leave her with a sitter.  If I keep bringing her down here, by the time she's two, she'll be completely and totally rotten," Loralei said with a smile.

"Party pooper," Cody grumbled good-naturedly.

Loralei immediately began looking for Donovan.  He wasn't in the room when she arrived, and she was pretty sure he had gone up to his office.  Their slight misunderstanding two nights ago had been smoothed out, and the tiny gap between them had been bridged by their lovemaking and physical closeness.  However, Loralei still thought that Donovan was a bit out of sorts with her.  Perhaps it was a foreboding shadow of events to come.  She politely excused herself and made her way upstairs.  

Donovan had, of course, seen her when she came in.  He was a bit amazed when she knocked on the door.  He looked toward it and fixed it with a crazy, confused stare.  What was she thinking?  Sometimes, she was a silly, silly woman, but it never failed to please him immensely.  "Loralei, what the hell?"

She opened the door and grinned at him.  "I was trying to be polite."  She entered the office and closed the door behind her.  He sat behind his desk facing her.  "I'm a little early, but I couldn't stay home.  I'm nervous."

He crooked his finger toward her.  "Come here."  She didn't hesitate to approach him.  He took gentle hold of her arm and drew her down to his lap.  "What do you expect to happen?"

She reached up and settled her hand on the back of his head, where she began playing with his hair.  "I don't know, but I feel jumpy, as if he's coming here to surprise me with something.  I never know what to expect out of Casey.  He was always very unpredictable.  I also have a feeling that he didn't like Bart anymore than he liked me."

Shortly before Casey was to show up, Donovan left Loralei in his office and went downstairs.  He told her that once Casey arrived, he'd send him up.  She stayed seated behind Donovan's desk and nervously began twiddling her thumbs.  She wondered why the idea of seeing Chance Casey again bothered her so much.  He had no power over her anymore, and she had nothing to fear from him.  Yet, she couldn't shake her apprehension.

Chance Casey, directed by Donovan, entered the office promptly at 2:00 p.m.  It had been nearly two years since she had last seen him.  He hadn't changed much.  He was tall in stature like her husband, but with none of his intriguing features.  His hair was clipped short and the color of desert sand.  His eyes were the ice blue of Alex's without the calm tenderness.  He had a strong lantern jaw that he normally kept clenched tightly.  He wasn't necessarily a bad looking sort, but he had always managed to give Loralei the willies.  Casey did his own once over.  Kadin still looked the same, with the exception of her hair length.  She had let it grow.  She still had the same stubborn beauty and open defiance in her bright green eyes.  She was watching him carefully, cautiously.  Without asking or waiting for her to ask, he sat down in one of the chairs Donovan had set up for this specific purpose.  He stared at Loralei steadily, and she immediately wondered what his game was.

Donovan couldn't keep his eyes off his office.  He could see both Loralei and Casey through the expanse of windows just off the far wall.  He couldn't quite see if their lips were moving yet.  How tempted he had been to sit in on the meeting.  Of course, he wouldn't do that.  Their slight argument two nights ago would turn into a full-fledged battle if he did one tiny thing to betray her trust.  Sitting in on the meeting would only serve to prove that he didn't trust her enough to allow her to make up her own mind.  He did, he wholeheartedly did, and he didn't have the desire to hurt her again.  Letting out a frustrated sigh, he tore his eyes away and faced the quartet of agents.  They were gazing up at him curiously, as if they had read his mind.

"Bart came to me a few days ago wanting to see the baby," Loralei began.  "He acted as if he wanted to tell me something, but he wouldn't.  We had set up a lunch date the next day, but he didn't show up.  I haven't heard from him since," she said.

_I think the bitch is lying to me_, he thought.  "Did he seem out of sorts or acting particularly strange," he asked sedately.

_What is your angle_, she wanted to ask.  Instead, she said, "Yes, he did.  He didn't elaborate.  My husband came with me that day.  Bart and Frank don't mesh well.  He wouldn't speak to me in Frank's presence.  I think that's why he set the date for lunch.  Like I said, he didn't say anything.  If he did, I wouldn't mind telling you.  Director Casey, why did you come to me?"

_Kadin is sharp.  Perhaps her husband has been giving her lessons.  She knows I have an angle.  If I can only get her to buy it, I'd be set_.  "Kadin, I'm afraid I have some bad news.  Agent Jackson is MIA.  He has been working a complicated field assignment.  We didn't know where he went until we located him here.  I tried to find him, but had no luck.  Once again, he has disappeared.  I'm afraid he may have been abducted or killed."

She stared at Casey for a long time before she spoke.  "Cody checked the records, Casey.  There was no assignment."

_The sorry ass fucking UC team.  I hate you.  I hate you.  _"Not all assignments can be tracked, Kadin.  You should know that, especially considering your past and the fact that you're married to a former CIA operative.  You may have difficulty accepting this, but I had nowhere else to turn."  _That's it.  Play to her sympathetic side.  That will surely draw her back_.  "I never upgraded your status, Kadin.  You're still inactive, still considered an agent.  I want you to come back and help us find Jackson.  If anyone could help find him, it would be you.  We also need an operative on the case Jackson was working.  I could have the paperwork sent through tonight, and you could be back on active status by morning."

Loralei couldn't believe it.  She stared at Director Casey incredulously.  He was asking her to come back.  _Her_.  Loralei Kadin, the extreme fuck up of all fuck ups.  "Do you realize what you're asking?  I've left and I have no desire to return.  I'm married now, and I have a child.  I can't just pick up and leave that."

_Bitch.  Bitch.  Bitch.  _Was he the least bit surprised that she'd want to choose domestic bliss?  Was he?  His plan wasn't completely thwarted.  He had one more trick up his sleeve, and he was certain this one would clinch it.  "I understand, and I respect that [_I can't believe I said that with a straight face_].  Jackson needs you, Kadin.  He really took a lot of heat for you.  I would think you'd want to return the favor.  Can you deny that you have a need to help?  Come back, Kadin.  I could have you back in the field in less than seventy-two hours."

She sighed sadly.  "That was a fucking low blow, Casey," she spat angrily.  He started to say something, but she held up her hand in a dismissive gesture.  "Do what you need to do on your end.  Give me a week to prepare my husband, our child, and myself for this.  I want you to be aware that I'm not doing it for you.  I'm doing it for Jackson because I owe him," she spat through clenched teeth.

On the inside, Director Casey was smiling victoriously.  On the outside, he was thoughtful and retrospective.  "Thank you, Kadin.  I can't express my gratitude in mere words.  Neither will Bart."

Loralei said nothing.  She couldn't.  She had accepted the challenge without discussing it with Donovan.  She thought their argument two nights ago was bad, but the one tonight would be ten times worse.  _What have you gotten yourself into this time_, she thought for about the millionth time.    


	6. The Argument

CHAPTER 6—THE ARGUMENT

Donovan watched solemnly as Chance Casey sauntered slowly down the stairs of his office before exiting the Nest without saying a word to him or anyone.  There was a strange look on his face that Donovan didn't like.  He seemed to be _gloating _about something, but what?  He turned toward his office again.  The door had yet to come open, and he wasn't sure why Loralei hadn't come out yet.  _What the hell is going on_?  He would give her a few minutes, and if she didn't come down, he was going up.

For twenty minutes or more, Loralei sat at Donovan's desk wondering how she would break the news to him.  She put her head into her hands and groaned.  What had she done?  What possessed her to accept Casey's offer without giving herself enough time to digest it.  _You know why_, she thought.  She did, it was true.  If she had had time to think it out, she would have turned Casey down cold, and she _owed_ Jackson.  If he needed her, she would go.  It was simple.  However, she wasn't altogether certain what her husband would think of all this.  She recalled their argument two nights ago, and Donovan's reaction had been fairly sedate, but also so very stern and protective.  World War III had occurred when Farron attacked her.  World War IV was about to begin, and she wasn't sure she wanted to get into it.  Somehow, some way, she wished she could do the assignment without telling her husband at all.  He had hidden many things from her to spare her worry and grief.  Be that as it may, he never failed to confess.  There was also another factor to consider.  Rachel.  How would she feel about leaving her child?  Could she?  Could she really?  It disturbed her to be away from the baby a few hours.  What would it do to her to be away from her for days at a stretch?  _I can't sit here and brood all goddamn afternoon.  I have shit to do_.  Sighing heavily, she uncovered her face and reached for the phone.  

Donovan waited for as long as he could.  Unceremoniously, he climbed the stairs two at a time toward his office.  He knocked on the door discreetly before opening it.  He caught Loralei hanging up the phone.  He closed the door behind him and stood watching his wife for a long time.  She wasn't looking at him.  In fact, she was trying hard _not_ to look at him.  He didn't like that.  It normally meant she was about to tell him some kind of horrible news.  He itched to ask her what had happened, but he hesitated.  The look on her face told him that she intended to make the first move.  Quietly, he approached the desk and went around it to stand beside her.  He leaned against the edge of the desk and looked down at her.  She still refused to look at him.  Instead, she drew lazy swirling patterns on a notepad.  Her behavior worried him.  Would she _ever_ tell him?  He should have taken the initiative and demanded the information from Casey.  However, if he had done that, Loralei would have surely harmed him enough to make Rachel an only child.

After what seemed like an eternity, Loralei put away the pen and notepad she had been torturing.  She pushed the chair back from the table, crossed her legs and arms.  She still hadn't made eye contact with him.  She had no intention to discuss this with her husband here on _his _territory.  Loralei looked up at Donovan just as he was about to speak.  He closed his mouth when her eyes met his.  "We need to talk, but I don't want to do it here.  I'm going straight home.  As soon as you get there, I need you to come to me immediately."

Concerned now, he studied her.  For the first time in their married lives, he was completely unable to read her expression.  He hadn't seen such a look on her face in months.  "I'll follow you right now."

She shook her head.  "No.  I need a little time alone.  Give me a couple hours, okay?"

He disliked this more and more as each second passed.  She stood and tried to move past him, but he took hold of her arm before she could.  She stepped backward and glanced up at him.  Her green eyes were filled with impatience.  This woman before him wasn't his Loralei.  She was someone else.  "Wait a second," he said softly.  "Are you going to be okay?  Maybe we _should_ talk here.  I'm not sure if waiting a couple of hours is a good idea."

"Isn't it obvious that I'm _not _okay," she asked stiffly, almost sharply.  "I don't want to go into it here.  I want us to do it at home where there isn't an audience.  This is going to have a major affect on us, and I…[_I will not cry, I will not cry_] I need to get my head together first.  I want to leave, Frank.  Please let me go."

He released her arm and watched as she walked out of his office without another word to him.  

*  *  *

The midday air was brisk and clean.  There was never a better day for a little nookie in the woods.  A young couple, Lila and Sam, who had just gotten engaged, decided to take a 'hike' through the woods surrounding the property owned by Lila's parents.  As children, they had loved coming out here for their playful 'adventures.'  Sam always wanted to be a cowboy, and Lila, of course, wanted to be a cute little fairy.  As they grew older, their relationship grew as well.  In fact, both had lost their virginity to each other right out here in the woods.  They often came back to recapture that magical, if not painful, night.  Of course, if Lila's parents ever discovered their precious daughter wasn't a virgin, they would die, and the woods was a convenient place for them to make love during breaks from college.  As any other goofy young couple, they had a special 'place' where they always made love.  It was the same spot where they had made love for the first time.  It was special and romantic.  Sam had even carved their names on the tree overlooking that spot.  Lila watched, shaking with anticipation, as Sam laid out the quilt they used for their 'treks' in the woods.  As soon as he had it spread out perfectly, they began stripping out of their clothes.  Before long, they were down on the quilt involved in some quite heavy petting.  The young couple was oblivious as to what lay almost directly beneath them.

Lila strategically placed her body over Sam's face, and he had begun pleasuring her immensely.  She enjoyed this more than she enjoyed the actual physical act.  She was getting into it, had her eyes closed tightly, and was preparing to have her first of many orgasms.  Of course, fate has a strange way of intervening at times, and for some unknown reason, Lila's leg gave out on her and she fell away from Sam's wicked tongue.  She fell backward, right on her ass, and was so stunned that she couldn't breathe for a moment.  Eventually, her shock gave away to amusement, and she began to giggle uncontrollably.  Sam did as well.  Lila fell flat on her back and continued to laugh her skinny ass right off.  She threw her hand over her head and it landed on something behind her with an odd _smack_.  Suddenly interested, she flopped over on her belly and peered curiously at an odd lump.  She noticed that the earth here had recently been overturned.  Why hadn't she noticed before?  She slowly began brushing at the lump of dirt until she finally unearthed a milky white hand.  Lila screamed and screamed.

*  *  *

Loralei had been home an hour when the doorbell rang.  She didn't think it was the sitter with whom she left Rachel.  She had asked her to keep the baby until tonight.  There was no way she intended for her child to be in the apartment when the yelling began.  When she went to the door and peered into the peephole, it wasn't the sitter, but a man wearing a FedEx uniform.  She opened the door, took the package, and signed for it.  She peered down at it curiously as she walked back into the living room.  Oddly enough, it was from Chance Casey.  Surely he hadn't sent instructions through FedEx.  Casey was a hardnosed fuck who went straight by the book.  He would never slip up and send directives through such public means.  Unable to quash her curiosity, she tore open the package and noticed he had sent copies of the paperwork he had sent through to the central office.  Her eyes misted over a little when she saw the word 'active' beside her name.  She was such a liar.  How many times had she vowed that she would never return to the life?  _Just remember, kid_, she thought, _you're doing this for Bart_.  Yes.  For Bart.  With little humor, she noticed that Casey had sent her information and request for additional training under 'Loralei Kadin.'  Why did he find it so hard to think of her as Donovan's wife?  Was he still holding some type of grudge?  _Stupid prick.  Can't believe I was ignorant enough to accept this mission_.  She didn't waste much of her time glancing at the seeming ream of paper.  She set the package aside and went into the bedroom to wait.

She found herself sprawled on the bed, flat on her back.  Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling.  Unconsciously, her right hand went over to her left, and she began twirling her wedding and engagement rings on her finger.  Every now and then, she would pull them off and put them back on again.  She didn't realize that she did that a lot when thinking of Donovan, especially if she had something not so great to tell him.  _You could always back out of it, you know_.  She could, but also couldn't at the same time.  Although Casey had obviously been playing on her sympathy, she wanted to help find Jackson.  She wasn't all that wild about working a field assignment, but she'd do whatever was necessary.  After this one thing, this one assignment, she would burn all her FBI documentation and demand to have her status properly upgraded.  Why had the prick kept her on active?  When she confessed her misdeed, he had utterly been fuming.  He didn't want to see, hear, or look at her again.  Yet, he had kept her active.  She would never understand.  She would also never make her husband understand.  

Donovan came in exactly two hours to the second of Loralei's departure.  Upon entering the apartment, he immediately noticed the absence of the baby.  Loralei had apparently left her with the sitter, and that thought disturbed him greatly.  If she had made arrangements for the baby to be away for a few hours, her news would likely be very bad.  He noticed the thick FedEx package immediately.  He was very tempted to pick it up and look at the documents inside.  Resisting the urge, he walked over and glanced down at the return address.  Chance Casey.  Why had he sent her a package?  His heart lurched in his chest for a brief moment.  Somehow, inherently, he knew the answer to that question, but his heart refused to accept the answer his mind had given.  Sighing deeply and bracing himself, he went in search of his wife and found her lying on the bed.  She had fallen asleep flat on her back on his side of the bed.  With a pang, he noticed that she had left her wedding and engagement rings lying beside her.  Had she ever done that before?  He had never seen them leave her finger for longer than a few hours the entire length of their marriage.  She wore them even when bathing.  He approached her side of the bed and climbed in next to her.  He picked up her rings and placed them gently back on her finger, making him think back to when he put them on her for the first time.  

The slight, gentle movement awakened her.  For a wonderful, glorious moment, she had completely forgotten her meeting with Chance Casey.  However, it only took a few seconds for her to remember.  She noticed that Donovan was still holding onto her left hand.  He was leaning over her, gazing into her eyes intensely, wanting to know what was going on inside her heart and mind.  "I've given you two hours, I'm home, and I want you to talk to me," he said softly.                   

She sighed.  She was so very close to blubbering.  _I will not cry.  I will **not **cry_.  "Casey had an ulterior motive for meeting with me."  She could tell by the look in his eyes that she had told him something he already knew.  "He began innocently enough by asking about my visit to Jackson.  I think he was under the impression that I'd know where he went.  He then got to the nitty gritty of the problem.  He said Jackson disappeared from a complicated assignment and is now MIA.  When I confronted him about what Cody had dug up, he said that not every assignment is coded.  That's not even the heart of the problem, Frank.  Not…not even close."  Her voice was threatening to break.  Goddamn.  She didn't want to cry.

He suddenly felt like the mind reader his wife had often accused him.  He knew what was coming next, but again, he wanted to fight it back a little.  He wanted to hear the words actually coming out of her mouth before he overreacted, and he would overreact without trying.  "What is it, Loralei," he asked, his intense gaze never wavering.  "_Tell me_," he demanded.

_Spit it out, chickenshit_.  "Casey told me that he never upgraded my status when I resigned after I left the hospital.  He asked that I return to help find Jackson and to work his case."

"And what did you say," he asked, his voice almost harsh.

"By the look in your eyes, I think you know."

He released her hand and pulled back.  Although he had known what she was going to say, hearing her words was still a shock.  "Goddamn it, Loralei.  You _accepted_ this assignment? Just like that, you're back in the FBI?  What possessed you to do this?"

"I owe him, Frank," she said simply.

"You owe him _nothing_.  Whatever you owed him in the past was taken care of the day he let that fucking bitch escape.  You're willing to remove yourself from your husband, from your daughter, to pay a debt that was settled ten times over by your blood?  Is that what you're saying to me?"

She batted his hurtful words aside.  He was angry and wasn't exactly thinking clearly.  "It doesn't matter, Frank.  I took the assignment and I'm going back in."

He shook his head incredulously and looked away from her.  After a brief moment, he turned to focus his eyes back on hers, as if suddenly remembering something.  "Loralei, I have ways of undoing everything that Casey did." 

She gazed up into his eyes, trying to see if there was any kind of bullshit in them.  He _wasn't_ bluffing.  It was more than obvious.  She hadn't been so angry with him since before they married.  "And you would do it, wouldn't you?  Goddamn it, Frank," she spat.  "You've reverted back to that juvenile prick bastard whom I thought was forever buried.  What is the big deal, Frank?  Alex and Monica are agents."

He sighed again.  She had ways of biting back, she certainly did, but she didn't understand.  He gritted his teeth and spat angrily, "Alex and Monica aren't married to me.  Neither of them is the mother of my child.  Neither of them nearly died in my arms."

"What's next, Frank?  Are you going to forbid me to go," she asked hotly, challenging him with a lifted eyebrow, purposely mocking him.   

She was close, _very_ close to calling him "Boss" again.  He could see it in her eyes and hear it in the angered crack of her voice.  If they didn't slow down and regroup, he was afraid he'd say something that would totally isolate her.  "And if I did?  Would it matter?  Would you listen?"

"I can't believe you just said that," she said.  "As far as I'm concerned, this _discussion_ is over."

The hurt was evident in her voice, and he realized that he had isolated her after all.  _Good going, you asshole_.  "Loralei," he said as he tried to reach for her.

Impatiently, she slapped his hands away and literally jumped off the bed.  "Don't touch me.  I don't want you touching me."  

He watched as she began to walk out of the bedroom.  Following her lead, he stalked through the living room behind her and tried to take hold of her arm, but she evaded him again.  "Where are you going," he asked.

She grabbed her purse and slung the strap over her head.  She jerked her keys off the key holder, nearly ripping it off the wall.  "I'm going to pick up Rachel.  Don't wait up, because I have no idea when I'm coming home.  I need to breathe; I need to get away from you for a while.  I have to get out."

"Loralei…"

She didn't look at him.  Instead, she held up her hand.  "No," she said.  "Don't."

Loralei opened the door and slipped out before he had another opportunity to speak again.  He had been in pursuit of her when the door closed in his face.  He stood close to it and leaned his forehead against it.  Angrily, he pounded the door with his fist.  _Goddamn it.  Goddamn it all_.

*  *  *

The sitter was only a couple doors down from their apartment.  There was no way either Loralei or Donovan would have allowed Rachel to be taken any further than that.  When they had returned home from Florida, a woman named Angie had been leaving her apartment with her young son.  She must have seen 'new parents' stamped all over their foreheads, because she offered lots of advice to both of them and had even said she'd baby-sit if they ever needed her.  Of course, before her husband [the overprotective, juvenile prick fucker] would agree to her sitting the baby, he insisted on having her checked out.  Sighing sadly, fighting desperately against the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, Loralei knocked on the door.  While she waited, she found her eyes wondering to her apartment two doors down.  _No.  No.  I won't go back.  Not yet_.

*  *  *

Alex had just gotten Farron out the door when she heard a tentative knock.  Had he come back already?  _Good God, he's persistent_, she thought.  She swung the door open, expecting to see Farron smiling at her innocently, but was met instead by Loralei's tear streaked face.  She noticed that she had the baby with her, and she appeared to be quite shaken up.

"Loralei, are you okay," Alex asked, concerned.

She shook her head.  "No, I'm not.  Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come on in."

Loralei sat with Alex and gave her the clean, condensed version of what had prompted her fight with Donovan.  Alex had offered a place for her to sleep, if she wanted, but Loralei begged off.  She wanted to go home, but not right away.

"I can understand his anger," Loralei said, "I can even understand his motivation for it.  What I don't understand is this incredible double standard.  It's a Fred Flintstone mentality, Alex.  It's okay for everybody else, but by God, my wife will never do it."

"I think it's just that he saw you go through so much.  If he sounded that way, he probably got stupidly angry, and put his foot in his mouth."

She glanced at Alex.  She had Rachel in her arms and had coaxed the infant to sleep.  The baby had been crying for a long time, and nothing Loralei did pleased her.  She then realized [with a pang] that Rachel probably missed her father's voice and his touch.  Grudgingly, she admitted to herself that she did as well.  "I'm sure that's part of it.  Damn him.  I love him so much, but he has the ability to piss me off so badly."  She laughed bitterly.  "I suppose that's the _beauty_ of marriage.  I'm sorry to cry on your shoulder, Alex.  I just didn't want to go home, not right away."

Alex smiled.  It was odd.  She had come to think of Loralei as a friend.  Their 'bond' had developed after Alex had given Loralei an 'in' regarding Donovan's brief status as rogue.  "It's okay.  I always love getting the chance to see Rachel.  Do what you have to do, Loralei.  I don't have to tell you that your husband is stubborn.  You know that all too well.  You have to follow your heart, you know.  Cliché but true."

*  *  *

When Loralei entered the apartment, she noticed that Donovan was waiting up [in the dark], just as she suspected he would.  She ignored him and went to put the baby down for the night [or for however long she decided to sleep].  It was well past two in the morning, and she was certain he sat disapproving her decision to be out traipsing around with the baby so late.  She had started to stay with Alex, but didn't want to impose on their friendship.  Once Rachel was placed snuggly in her crib, Loralei turned back toward the door.  Although she didn't look up, she knew he was gazing at her steadily, seemingly trying to coax her to meet his gaze.  Instead, she closed the door, effectively shutting him out for the rest of the night.  She had slept in the easy chair before and didn't mind doing it again. 


	7. The Morning After

CHAPTER 7—THE MORNING AFTER

Loralei stayed with the baby all night.  Not only was she trying to avoid Donovan, but she also wanted to spend as much time with Rachel as she could.  She didn't know how long she would be away from her daughter.  She hadn't slept one wink all night, and she was completely exhausted.  When she noticed the sun peeking through the blinds, she figured it wouldn't take long for Donovan to come wandering into the room.  He normally came into the baby's room the first thing in the morning to spend time with her before he had to leave.  It was basically 'his' time with her, but it was also his way of allowing Loralei to get some extra sleep, especially if Rachel had had a particularly active night.  She wasn't sure she wanted to see Donovan this morning.  She was still angry with him, and was certain he felt the same toward her.  Loralei dragged her tired body out of the easy chair and made her way into the living room.  There were a couple of phone calls she needed to make, and another she was expecting at any moment.  Quietly, she crept out of Rachel's room and entered the living room.  She half expected to see Donovan still planted firmly on the couch, but he wasn't.  Loralei sighed.  _Good.  I can do this now_.

Donovan hadn't had a night any better than Loralei's.  When she shut herself off in Rachel's room, he had contemplated sleeping on the couch, but thought better of it.  After all, his wife had made it clear that she was pissed to the extreme.  Of course, he was as well, but if he opened his mouth, it might make matters worse.  _If they could get any worse_, he thought morbidly.  He had kept the monitor turned on through the night, and tensed each time he heard Rachel cry out.  A hundred times, he had been tempted to get up and go to his daughter, but the sound of Loralei's voice over the monitor stopped him each time.  The hurt literally poured into every word that came out of her mouth.  She tried to comfort her daughter, and all the while, she had been hurting tremendously.  Regardless of that, he was stubborn enough to have convinced himself that he was right and she was wrong.  However, she wouldn't see that, _couldn't_.  Last night, he had threatened her with intervening, and he had meant every word of it.  If he did that, she would never forgive him, would probably pack her things and leave immediately.  He couldn't fathom the thought of her leaving him.  _Goddamn it.  Why is she so stubborn_?  Donovan sighed deeply and got out of bed.  He was tired, and hadn't felt this way in a long time.  A creature of habit, Donovan set about his normal morning routine [_today isn't anything **close** to normal_], and made his way toward Rachel's room.  He stopped in the narrow hallway separating the living room from the bedrooms.  Loralei was speaking quietly into the phone.

"Yes," she said before pausing to listen to the caller.  "I know there has to be additional refresher training before I go out.  Can I leave this morning?"  She stopped speaking again and listened.  "Uh huh, I can catch the first flight out.  Nine this morning?  Isn't there anything earlier?"  Another pause.  "I see.  Nine will have to do.  Thanks."  

When she hung up the phone, she noticed Donovan standing in the hallway staring at her.  She briefly acknowledged his existence with a glance.  She had started toward the bedroom, but the doorbell stopped her.  She turned around and walked back toward the door and opened it.  Stunned, Donovan watched as Geneva Kadin entered the room.  She hugged her daughter tightly before Loralei closed the door behind her.  

"Thanks for coming on such short notice, Mom," Loralei said.

"Loralei, I need to talk to you," Donovan said, a bit more harshly than intended.  _What the hell is she doing here_?  His mother in-law wasn't stupid.  She knew something was going on between them, he could see it in her eyes.

She turned away from her mother and tromped back to the bedroom.  Donovan followed her lead and closed the door.  He turned to his wife and saw that she had sat down on the side of the bed [_hers, not mine_].  Her body was turned toward his, but she wasn't looking at him, not yet anyway.  "What the hell are you doing," he demanded.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him defiantly.  "I've requested to be sent to Quantico today to begin an intense refresher training.  I wanted my mother here to help take care of Rachel while I'm gone.  You can't do it by yourself, and no matter how much I want to, I can't take her with me."

Incredulously, he gazed at her.  Had she flipped?  Had she lost her mind?  "Loralei, you're leaving me?"  She had totally gone behind his back to set up everything so perfectly.  He wasn't sure if he were angry or devastated or both.  

"I thought we had this hammered out last night.  You are well aware that I'm taking this assignment, and that means leaving.  You knew this, Frank, don't act so surprised.  Are you finished?  I have some packing to do.  My flight leaves in three hours."

"We had _nothing _hammered out.  _What _did I know," he asked.  "I knew you were taking it, but I didn't know you were going to leave _today_.  I don't want you to go like this.  I want to straighten out this mess before you leave me."

She closed her eyes and lowered her head for a moment.  He had made it sound as if she were walking out on their marriage.  _Am I_?  "What mess, Frank?  I want to do this, you disagree, but I'm doing it anyway.  It can't be straightened out.  Not now.  I have to go, I have to do this.  You don't understand, and it seems as if you won't any time soon.  Leave me Frank.  I can't do this with you here."

This had gotten completely out of hand.  He couldn't watch her walk out the door, their marriage hanging by a thread.  He couldn't live with the uncertainty or the pain.  How could she walk away?  How could she leave like this?  These were questions that needed answers, but she wouldn't give them to him.  He didn't want to go anywhere, he didn't want to let her leave, but there was nothing he could do about it.  If he fought her, she'd only pull further away from him, and she was already too far away.  Unmoving, he stood before her.  Just a few nights ago, they'd spent hours making love to each other, holding each other.  They had lain on the bed with their daughter between them as if nothing could ever interfere in their relationship.  Today, it seemed as if the love they shared had been years in the past, and he hated feeling that way.  He had never felt so distant from her than he did at that moment.  He needed to do or say something to make it right, because in the back of his mind, he knew that anything could happen in the field.  He couldn't imagine what life would be like without her, but there was always that chance.  What if she were to walk out the door so upset with him and then never return?  What if she were to die with anger in her heart instead of love?  He couldn't think about or deal with it.  Not today, tomorrow, or ever.  She clearly wanted him to go, and despite the desperate ache in his heart, he would honor her request.  Without uttering a syllable, he turned away from her, snatched open a drawer, dug out a few items of clothing, and then banged it shut.  He dressed with jerking, tearing motions, and stalked out of the bedroom.  A few moments later, she heard the front door opening, and then banging shut in his wake.  The monitor came alive with Rachel's sudden, lusty cry.  Loralei sat still for a few seconds before she went to tend to her crying infant.

Loralei packed as little as she could get away with.  She could always come back for more.  _Could she_?  Would Donovan let her?  She shook the thought out of her mind and slung her carry-on bag over her shoulder before picking up her one suitcase.  She moved into the living room where her mother had just given Rachel her mid-morning feeding.  It was a job she should have done, a job meant for her and her husband.  Leaving Donovan behind was bad enough, but the thought of leaving her child was nearly incomprehensible.  She dropped her bags near the door and went over to the couch.  Her mother smiled at her gently as she gave the baby to her.  Loralei held her daughter as tightly as was humanly possible without smothering her.  She kissed her warm little forehead and drew away.  Rachel was squirming contentedly in her arms, enjoying her touch and scent.  When she looked at the baby, she always saw more of Donovan in her [and it was the exact opposite when Donovan looked at her], and it normally made her smile.  Not today.  

Loralei leaned down and pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead.  "I'm going to miss you, little girl," she whispered, "Mommy's going to miss you so."  Lingering longer than she needed to, she handed the baby back over to her mother and left while she still had the courage to go.

Loralei had thought Donovan took off somewhere else, but he didn't go any further than a few floors down.  When he saw his wife walk down the long corridor that led to the parking garage, he found himself following her.  If she saw him, she would likely smack him with her suitcase.  She was completely oblivious; she wouldn't have known he was behind her unless she ran over him.  He watched from around a corner as she viciously threw her bags into the trunk of the car.  She slammed it shut and stood with her hands planted firmly upon it.  From his vantage point, he could hear her sobbing.  The sound was horrible and gut wrenching.  He wasn't sure why she couldn't see that she didn't need to go on this mission.  He shook his head.  No, that wasn't quite right.  She saw it; it was obvious in her demeanor earlier and in her sobs right now.  She felt obligated by honor to tear herself apart.  It made no sense.  Yet, he was almost certain that if he were faced with the same choices, he would follow duty and obligation.  How could he fault her for that?  He jumped a little when she suddenly spat out a tear clotted 'fuck it.'  For a moment, he thought she had seen him.  Glancing carefully around the corner again, he watched as she climbed into the car.  He closed his eyes tightly after he saw the car pulling away.  _Bring her back to me_.

*  *  *

Donovan went back up to the apartment after Loralei's car was out of sight.  When she sent him away, he had donned a tee shirt and sweatpants, and now he needed to dress for work.  He glanced very briefly at his mother in-law.  She was still sitting on the couch with the baby in her arms.  He was tempted to send her away, because he was quite capable of caring for his child.  However, if the team received an extended assignment, what would happen then?  Where would Rachel go?  For a moment, he was fiercely angry with Director Casey.  He wanted to pound the man into the ground.  Of course, his anger was also directed toward Bart Jackson as well.  If he hadn't come to Loralei, none of this would have happened.  If.  He hated that word, hated it with a passion.  He sensed that Geneva Kadin wanted to speak to him, probably wanted to ask what he had done to _her_ baby to put her in such a state.  He was in no mood.  He stopped and walked over to the couch.  Without a word, his mother in-law handed him Rachel.

"I've never taken sides when Loralei had discord with other men in her life," Geneva began.

He tried to block out her voice.  He didn't want to hear it.  She was just about to start bitching him out.  All he wanted was to hold his daughter, love her, and then get his wife back home.  Donovan carried Rachel over to an overstuffed easy chair beside the couch and sat down.  

"I think she's wrong on this one.  She shouldn't have gone back, not like this," she said.

Donovan said nothing, he kissed Rachel's forehead.  "I appreciate what you're trying to do," he told her without making eye contact.  "But I'd rather not discuss this with you.  No offense, but I think this is something that Loralei and I will have to work out.  I'm sorry you were brought into the middle of this."

*  *  *

Donovan didn't exactly make it in early.  By the time he arrived at work, everyone had beaten him, including Jake, who often sauntered in last.  He ignored his team, and their questioning looks, and made his way upstairs.  He wanted to have a few minutes to brood before he checked out the inbox.  Of course, he wasn't aware that Alex had inside information concerning his blowout with Loralei.  Whenever the boss came in late, they inherently knew either something was wrong at home or that he had simply gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.  Alex listened to the warnings of 'better not,' 'stand back,' 'don't do it,' and of course, her favorite, 'wear a bulletproof vest' [from Cody, of course] as she made her way upstairs.  Before she tapped on the door, she could hear Donovan grumbling to himself, cursing under his breath.  When she knocked, she received a petulant, 'what is it?'  She cracked open the door and slipped inside.  Donovan was staring at her coldly, with anger in his eyes.  He was aware that his wife and Alex were relatively buddy-buddy.  He wondered if she had come in to preach at him.  

"If you came in here to scold me for making my wife cry, I'd rethink that," he said stiffly. 

She crossed her arms over her chest and peered at him with a wry smile on her lips.  When she first met Donovan, she had been convinced that he didn't have a heart.  Her opinion changed, of course, but he remained icy and stoic regardless of the situation.  It had changed immediately when he met Loralei.  He had gotten crafty enough to separate his home life from his job, but every now and then [especially when Loralei called or visited], he would let his guard down.  Today, even through his rough veneer, she could see that he was hurting, that he missed her.  She wondered if he realized that Loralei had sobbed on her shoulder half the night because she loved this bastard so much.  Apparently, their argument had extended well into this morning.

"I'm not in here to scold you, Boss.  I'm just worried about you, and about my friend.  She was at my place half the night, and I tried to convince her to spend the night, but she wouldn't.  She wanted to come home to you."

He sighed and smiled a trifle bitterly.  He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with her.  "Did she," he spat hurtfully.  "Could have fooled me.  I find it odd that she wanted to come home so badly that she chose not to sleep with me.  She chose not to _speak_ to me until this morning, and when she did, it was to announce she was leaving for Quantico.  To me, it doesn't sound as if she wanted to come back that badly."

Her smile grew.  "Would you listen to yourself?  You are so convinced that you're right and she's wrong, that you're willing to allow something this stupid to come between you.  I think of all the things that have happened to both of you during your relationship, and some of them were pretty bad, but you managed to hold it together.  Yet, your ego can't absorb the fact that she has a strong desire to assist her former partner.  All you can see is that the wife of the great Frank Donovan wants to go back in the field.  How dare she defy you and your wishes.  How dare she have a mind of her own.  You're letting your ego separate you from this woman who literally gave up her life for you.  I'm not saying that she made the best choice or even the worst.  All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let your overprotective nature interfere with your marriage.  Who cares who's right or wrong?  You love her, I know you do, and she loves you."

Donovan sighed again.  His anger and hurt had begun to dissipate just the slightest bit.  "I'm glad that she has you as her friend, and I appreciate your honesty, but I really, really need to be alone."

She nodded.  "Okay."

*  *  *

_Back on an airplane.  Back to Quantico.  How bizarre_, Loralei thought.  Her first experience at the academy had been a good one.  Not this time.  Her mind then drifted back to the last time she had been on an airplane.  _Nope.  Will not think of Frank.  Will not, will not, will not._  As soon as the plane touched down, she would call home and speak to her mother.  She hoped her husband wouldn't be home.  If the flight arrived at the proper time, Donovan should still be at the Nest.  She wasn't sure when she could talk to him.  Her hurt was acute, but she loved the fucker.  She missed him already.  Shrugging her thoughts away, she leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes.  She was so very exhausted.

When the plane landed, Loralei saw a young man holding up a sign with her name on it [Loralei Kadin, of course].  _Tell me that Casey didn't send down a limo_, she thought.  What the hell was this?  Why was this freak kissing her ass all of a sudden?  She shook her head and approached the man.  She wanted to get to the academy and get this over with.  The sooner she saw the end of the assignment, the sooner she could get home.

*  *  *

Donovan ended up going home early.  He was quite distracted, and couldn't really get any work done.  He had also lost his temper a few times with Cody.  Of course, that wasn't anything new, but it seemed as if everything that came out of the young man's mouth set him off.  Before he could isolate his team, he left for home.  As much as Loralei had done dozens of times since Rachel was born, Donovan took her from her crib, and laid her beside him on the bed.  Looking down at his daughter, he mused how so very green her eyes were.  He watched with an amused smile as she began kicking out with her legs and flailing her arms about.  He took hold of her tiny fist and was once again amazed at how strongly she gripped his finger.  He sensed she would be quite the little spitfire, with his temper and Loralei's overwhelming stubbornness mixed with a dash of his own bullheadedness.  Yes.  They would have their hands full as soon as she was old enough to exert her independence.  _They_.  Would there be a _they_?  _Nope, won't think it about.  Won't give in to that thought_.  From the living room, he heard the phone ring.

"I'll get it," he called out to Geneva.  He reached over and grabbed the phone.  "Hello."

_Oh God_, she thought.  _What is he doing home_?  "It's me, Frank," Loralei said.  "I called to say that I landed safely," she said a little stiffly.  "Could you put my mother on, please?"

He chewed on his bottom lip, working it over for all it was worth.  "You don't want to talk to me," he finally managed to ask.

"No, I don't," she lied.  "Would you please put my mother on the phone," she asked again.

"No, Loralei, I won't.  Whatever you want to talk about, talk to me, not your mother.  You shouldn't have even brought her here.  This has nothing to do with her, or Alex.  This is between us.  I'm sure that anything you wanted to ask your mother can be answered by me just as easily.  Right?  What is it?"

She sighed sadly.  "I'm not getting into a battle with you over the phone.  I refuse to do that.  I just want to know how the baby is doing."

He bit his lip again.  His anger had not gone away, not one iota.  Somehow, he had to get rid of it.  "She's fine, Loralei, but she misses you."  _I miss you_.

_Is she the only one_?  "I miss her, too."

He couldn't hold his tongue any longer.  "If that's true, then come home."

She exhaled an angered breath.  "Goodbye, Frank."  She hung up in his ear.

_Goddamn it, you stupid, stupid bastard_.  He had finally gotten her to speak to him with a relatively civil tongue, and what had he done?  He couldn't let it go, couldn't just say 'fuck it' and throw it out the window.  Uh uh.  Not him.  Not the Iceman.        


	8. Buried Secrets

**CHAPTER 8—BURIED SECRETS**

Very early the next morning, Donovan entered the Nest and heard the surprising sound of his brother's voice.  Confused, he didn't understand why in the hell Farron had decided to show his face.  As far as he knew, he had no reason to be there at all.  As he entered the depths of the room, he watched curiously as Farron and Alex spoke in hushed tones as if they were sharing some wondrous secret.  He watched the two of them for an undetermined amount of time.  Did his brother have something going with Alex?  The thought annoyed him more than angered him.  After all, he had little control over Alex, and even less over Farron.  Seeing the two of them together made him think of Loralei.  He hadn't heard from her since yesterday.  He was certain that she wouldn't call again while he was there.  He sighed deeply, almost sadly, and made his presence known to his brother and the female agent.  The two of them glanced at Donovan in surprise.  His face was blank and expressionless.  Neither of them could read him.  Their expressions gave away a clear thought:  _caught in the act_.  If he hadn't felt so upset this morning, he might have laughed.  

Farron broke away from Alex and approached his twin.  "Good morning, dear brother, I didn't expect you in so early."

Almost sedately, he nodded.  "That's obvious."  He tried to move past Farron and make his way upstairs, but the other man grabbed onto his forearm and pulled him back.  Donovan fixed his eyes on his brother and took his arm out of Farron's grasp.  "Whatever is it, Farron, I'm not interested."

"Call your wife, Frank.  I'm sure she'd like to hear from you."

Donovan fixed an incredulous look on Farron's face before settling his dark eyes on Alex's face.  "What the hell?  How many other people are going to offer unwanted, unneeded advice?  How many people _don't_ know about my fucking marital problems?  Do yourselves a favor; keep your noses out of my marriage.  This has nothing to do with either of you."  He stalked away angrily and took the stairs two at a time.  His office door slammed shut behind him.

"You're here again," Jake said incredulously as he entered the room.  "What are you?  A wannabe agent," he asked.  "I don't think they allow men with your history into the academy.  Sorry, man, I think you should hit the streets and get back to what you know."

"_Tu estúpido pincha_," Farron spat.  ["You stupid prick."]  "Your sarcasm is duly noted, but not necessary."

Jake snarled at the other man and looked him up and down, as if trying to decide what to punch first.  "Look in the fucking mirror, and you'll see who the _real_ stupid prick is."

"Would you guys stop bickering," Alex spat, annoyed.  "Donovan is upstairs, and if you make him come down, he'll probably beat the both of you senseless."

"_¿Tu la quiere, hace no tu?_"  ["You want her, don't you?"]  He laughed a little.  "Why didn't I ever notice that before?  Have I disrupted something?"

"_Voy a joder lo mata_," he said through clenched teeth, his eyes closed to narrow slits.  ["I'm going to fucking kill you."]

"_What the hell is going on down there_," Donovan roared from upstairs.  He had heard the shouting from inside the enclosed sanctuary of his office.  "Jake, get to your case load, _now_.  Farron, get the fuck out of here.  It's not my business who you date.  In fact, I could care less, but I don't want you to show your face here unless you have _official_ business to discuss.  I cannot stop you two from killing each other, if that's your desire.  However, you _will not_ do it here.  _Do you both fucking understand_?"  Without waiting for either man to answer him, he stalked back into his office and slammed the door behind him.

Farron gave Jake one final, smirking look before he left.  _God I hate that fucker_, Jake thought in his wake.  Almost sullen, he whipped around and turned away from Alex.  Suddenly, he couldn't look at her.  

Standing back with her arms crossed over her chest, Alex stood back and assessed Jake.  _What the hell is he doing_, she wondered.  She had understood every word passed amongst the two men.  Why would Farron assume that Jake wanted her?  The thought was completely out of left field.  Yet, if it had been any man other than Jake, she might have thought he was jealous.  _But not Jake_, she thought.  _Jealous?  Couldn't be.  No way_.  Although certain that jealousy _was not_ Jake's issue with Farron, there had to be _something_.

Alex approached Jake and tapped his shoulder.  He didn't move, breathe, or grunt.  "Hey," she said.  "What is going on here?  I know you don't get along with Farron, but what's with this territorial shit, Jake?  I've never seen you like this before."

Jake sighed angrily.  He turned to face her, and she noticed that the look on his face was one of anger and confusion.  It was a bit unsettling.  "I don't get it, Alex, that's all.  You know the guy's history, what he did, and what he _is_.  How can you be blind enough to date him?  I just don't understand.  He isn't good enough for you."

She shook her head.  "Are you taking lessons from Donovan?  There are a few things I may be, but none of them is blind.  I'm well aware of his entire history.  I was there.  Remember?  Damn it, it's not like I'm going to marry the guy."

"I don't think you should date him," he said.  _And what **is** the big deal?  Do I want her?  No, I **cannot **go there_.  "Out of all the men floating around, you choose this pretty boy drug dealer."

"Look," she said as she tried to keep her temper in check, "It's none of your business, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try to lecture me about my taste in men.  We're friends, Jake, and if you want to stay my friend, butt out."  She turned and walked away.

"Shit," he spat.  _This is crazy, this is utterly, utterly mad_.  

*  *  *

_Ugh_.  Chance Casey had just gotten off the phone with Agent Kadin.  God, he hated speaking to her on the phone, hated seeing her even more.  However, he was forced to make nice with her in order to keep her on his team.  She had a couple more days at Quantico before she would return to Chicago to take over Jackson's case.  There were a few things she didn't need to know yet, but he was certain she'd dig up his secrets sooner or later.  He hoped that she would be out of his hair by then.  If not, she could always have an accident.  Accidents in the field happened all the time.  _Oops.  Stray bullet.  I'm so sorry about your wife, Frank.  She was a good agent_.  He laughed a little.  There was no way he would be able to say that with a straight face.  Therefore, Kadin's disappearance would have to be _special_.  Perhaps hers could mirror Jackson's.  Ah yes.  MIA.  _It just might work_.  Once Kadin had begun digging into the case files and the computer, she would run across some little something that would point all fingers his way.  It was how Jackson found out.  Kadin was the only other liability.  Having her dragged back into the fold had been a piece of sheer brilliance.  Yet, Jackson didn't have the benefit of a persistent, if not nosy, spouse.  If Kadin _disappeared_, Frank Donovan would fly into his office on a mission of vengeance.  Not only that, but he also had his own computer whiz in his midst.  How long would it take the guy to uncover his secrets?  Five minutes?  Ten?  _No good.  No good_.  He simply couldn't allow Kadin to disappear.  Even though it would be a bit messier, she would have to be KIA [killed in action].  However, it just might keep Frank Donovan and his team off his back.  By the time Kadin's grieving husband recovered, he would be long gone, with his new identity.  _Two more weeks_, he thought, _it's all I need to clean the plate and escape_.

*  *  *

Loralei was drifting again._  She sat before her 'supercomputer' in the regional office.  She was Loralei Kadin again, part of the ICD.  Frustrated, she had been trying to hack into a taboo site, but wasn't having any luck.  How long had she sat there breaking tons of code?  She knew it was long enough to have developed a major headache.  Loralei knew she needed to take a break, but Casey was barking orders at her.  She was **not** to leave the computer until she broke the code.  If she couldn't break it, she would never leave.  Persistence had never been one of her issues and she was never one to give up easily.  Yet, this was one tough ass code.  Whoever owned this site knew what he was doing.  She always thought of the site owners as male.  Loralei knew that thought was horridly off kilter, but she couldn't help it.  Even though she had busted two women already, she didn't see this as a crime perpetrated by females.  Each time she hit a brick wall, she cursed under her breath.  'Stupid fucker' was her personal favorite expression.  She tried to zone Casey's demanding voice out of her ear, but it was no use.  He sat back all comfy in a surveillance van filled with agents hungry to bust the sick fuck responsible for a strain of kiddy snuff flicks.  She hated those worse than the pornography cases.  Frustrated now more than ever, she had one more trick up her sleeve.  If this one failed, she would have to give up.  She typed in a stream of code and pressed 'enter.'  The screen began dancing in wondrous delight.  **Finally**.  She had done it.  She had broken the fucker before it broke her.  However, her joy was short-lived.  Her screen went black before coming back, and an awful bomb icon appeared, seemingly growing larger and larger by the second.  **Goddamn**.  The site was booby-trapped.  She buried her face in her hands as the host site implanted her supercomputer with a malicious virus.  She looked up when she heard the laughter of a child.  On her screen, there was a hideous picture of a little girl in full makeup.  Her jaw came unhinged as she giggled manically.  **Neener neener neener**, the image screamed in delight.  **Tell me you didn't just kill the computer**, Casey's voice piped up in her ear.  Of course, it could be fixed easily.  She quickly hit F6 on her keyboard.  For the supercomputer, F6 was the 'kill' key.  She had programmed it to delete every file on the hard drive.  Later, she would reboot the computer and reinstall the entire system, and choose another key to 'kill' it again if necessary._

_Much later, Agent Kadin had worked tirelessly to restore the supercomputer.  Without her baby, she was nothing.  This puppy could almost walk and talk.  If she kept playing with it, she was sure to have to buy it shoes next Christmas.  She had heard Casey storm from the elevator toward his swank office.  **You've done it again, kiddo**, she thought.  Of course, Casey wouldn't stay angry for long.  Although she had harmed her baby numerous times, she had never managed to completely kill it.  When she heard Casey scream out her name, she sighed and pushed away from the computer.  It was time for another supreme bitching.  She tromped to his office and stood before his desk, her chin lifted defiantly [a stance her future husband would see many, many times] as he began ranking her out.  He demanded that she come look at the mess she made.  Apparently, it wasn't just her baby that had gotten messed up.  The virus had killed one of Casey's systems as well.  Odd.  Why would that happen?  Casey had two computers.  One was strictly for files.  The other was for email and interdepartmental correspondence.  The only sick machine was the standard one.  How had that one gotten infected and not the other?  Kadin spent a good two hours hovered over Casey's shoulder as she assisted him with the repair of his machine.  She offered to set him up with a 'kill' program if it ever happened again._

_By the time his machine was restored, Casey had calmed down significantly.  Of course, he didn't say thanks, fuck you, or happy birthday.  Instead, he stared up at her with a funky look in his eyes.  He had looked at her in every way imaginable, but not like this.  She couldn't even describe it.  It was just…weird.  She was just about to back away from him when he grabbed her thigh beneath her skirt.  He had mumbled something like 'not so damn fast' and dragged her back.  His hand traveled further up between her thighs as a lascivious smile framed his lips.  She hooked her fingernails into his arm and yanked it off her.  Her action didn't dissuade Casey at all.  He stood to face her and he grasped her upper arm tightly._

_"Come on, Kadin, I've seen you watching me.  It's okay, I want to fuck you, too," he said with a smile._

_"Fuck you," she spat incredulously.  "I'd turn to a woman before I'd fuck you."_

_He began to shove her body backward forcefully.  She gasped aloud as her back hit the wall.  His free hand wondered up and grasped one of her breasts, squeezing it hard and painfully.  "Kadin, don't be that way.  I know something is up.  Otherwise, why would you stay in here all hours of the night close to me?"_

_"I'm working, you stupid fuck," she spat through clenched teeth.  "If you don't let me go, I'm going to bust your balls."_

_He forced her thighs apart with his knee.  "I'd like to see you try.  You're pretty helpless right now, aren't you?"_

_She spat in his face and he backed away just enough for his knee to move.  She brought her own knee up and hit him squarely between his thighs.  As he howled in pain, she brought two fists up and smashed them down on the back of his neck.  "Touch me again and I'll make you eat your vile little penis," she shouted._

*  *  *

In her conscious mind, Loralei moaned.  That incident had been the only one of its kind, and was completely traumatic.  She didn't return to work for two days, claiming that she had a stomach virus.  She had effectively blocked out the event, and it only haunted her very rarely in her dreams.  The only time the attack made any effort to resurface was when she put in for transfers.  She found her director distasteful, and tried everything in her power to get away from him.  However, she wasn't consciously aware of her motivation.  Agent Kadin was very good at blocking out emotionally devastating events.  That ability was the only thing that had kept her sane working in ICD.

Loralei jarred herself awake.  She sat straight up on the hard as nails cot.  For some crazy reason, her right breast was aching as if someone had squeezed it.  _What the fuck_?  She had to stay here only forty-eight more hours, and then she could return briefly to Chicago.  She intended to snuggle her baby the entire time she was home.  When her breathing finally calmed down, she glanced at the lighted dial on her wristwatch.  She groaned a little and slammed her body back down on the bed.  Rachel.  It was time for a feeding.  She could almost hear her baby girl crying.  She turned her face and sobbed quietly into the rock hard pillow.  After a few moments, the sobs that had overcome her had dried up to sniffles.  When thoughts of her husband entered her mind, her sobs came crashing back, wracking her body.  _Stop it, you big crybaby.  Stop it.  I haven't cried this damn much since I was pregnant_.  It hurt so badly thinking of Donovan, because she wasn't so sure she could talk to him, wasn't so sure he would even _want_ to talk to her.  

*  *  *

Donovan had heard Rachel's cry before his mother in-law turned over twice.  He seriously considered sending her back to Missouri.  He honestly didn't want her here, didn't need her.  It wasn't that he disliked Geneva Kadin or thought she was a busybody [which she was], but her hair and eyes were the same color as Loralei's, and he couldn't stand looking at it.  It brought him immense pain, followed quickly by self-defeating anger.  He was so very tempted to book a flight to Quantico and go after her.  He couldn't.  Actually, he had no idea what he was going to do.  No matter how much he loved her, missed her, when he spoke to her, he couldn't stop something stupid from flowing out of his mouth.  It was hurt and overwhelming shock, the needling sense of betrayal that had begun to eat away at him.  He felt almost the same as he did when he first learned that Loralei was an agent.  It was the same kind of kick in the teeth.  Sighing heavily, he went to his daughter.  

*  *  *

A couple of days later, a heavy tense fog hung in the Nest.  Jake and Alex were angry at each other, Donovan was angry at the world, and Cody and Monica were clueless.  While waiting for instructions on a new case, Alex's cell phone rang.  She cursed [_shit_] at the intrusion and then quickly took the phone out of her jacket pocket.  She glanced down at the screen and her jaw dropped when she recognized the number.  _Uh uh.  Couldn't be_.  She slipped away from the other agents and quickly hit the 'send' button before her voice mail kicked on.

"Loralei," Alex said quietly into the phone.  "Are you calling from home?"  In the background, she could hear gurgling noises.  Rachel.  _Duh.  Of course she's home_.

"Yes.  I got here a couple of hours ago.  Been playing serious catch up with Rachel.  I'm due in Director Casey's office by noon."

Alex couldn't help but smile a little.  Loralei was crafty, but also quite transparent.  She didn't want to call her husband directly, but she found another way of dropping a slight hint that she was home.  She had to know Alex would eventually tell him.  She didn't make it a habit to interfere, but she hated the fact that their marriage appeared to be falling apart at the seams.  "Do you want to talk to Donovan?"

There was a slight catch in Loralei's throat.  "No," she said not so convincingly.  "We didn't exactly part on great terms.  I think the less I see of him right now, the better it will be.  When this is done, we'll talk.  I can't…can't…_fuck it_.  Don't tell him I'm here."

Alex heard:  **_Please_**_ tell him I'm here_.  "Loralei?  Are you sure?  You've got to know that this is killing him, don't you?"

"Yes," she said, her voice hitching now.  "_I **won't** cry_," she said stubbornly.  "It's not been exactly a picnic for me, either.  We've each said some shitty things, and I can't face him.  I just _can't_.  I gotta go."

Sighing, Alex hit 'send' and disconnected the call.  She slipped her phone back into her jacket pocket and nearly smacked into a wall that was over six feet of pissed off man.  "Hiya, Boss," she said innocently as she stepped back from that solid wall.

If he hadn't been coming down to bark petulant orders at Cody, he never would have heard Alex whispering Loralei's name.  He had supersensitive hearing, especially when it came to his wife and daughter.  "Where is she," he demanded.

She had intended all along to break her friend's confidence just to get their stubborn asses back on the same page, but when confronted with Donovan's steely gaze, she wasn't so sure she could do it now.  "Which she," she asked innocently.

He sighed and ran his hand impatiently through his hair.  "Alex, please.  I know you were talking to Loralei.  I heard her name.  Tell me where she is.  I know she didn't just call you from Quantico."

Alex sighed unhappily and shifted from foot-to-foot as if she were a child who needed to go potty.  "Okay.  She's home with the baby, but you'd better hurry.  She's leaving for a meeting at noon, and she probably won't be coming home tonight."

Donovan closed his eyes for a very brief moment and sighed in relief.  "Thank you."

Loralei was just throwing her bags into the backseat as she heard a car screeching around a corner from the floor below.  Her heart began to pound sickly in her chest.  _Frank_, she thought inherently.  She quickly climbed behind the wheel, slammed her door, and jammed the key into the ignition.  As hurriedly as she was making her escape, she was afraid she might flood the car.  Thank God she didn't.  It roared beautifully to life.  She threw it into reverse and whipped it out of its space as she saw Donovan's car whirling around the bend.  He was heading straight toward her.  He had tried to swing in quickly enough to block the exit, but he was a few seconds too late.  She managed to slip past him, her foot likely flooring the accelerator.  In the few brief moments before she passed him, he had fixed his eyes on her seemingly pale face.  Although he wasn't completely certain, he thought he had seen her mouthing something similar to '_I love you, I'm sorry_.'  He put the car in reverse, considered tailing her, but thought better of it.  He slammed his foot on the brakes and put the car in park.  Defeated for the time being, he drove his fist into the steering wheel and leaned back in the seat.  He had taken all he could stand.  Something had to be done, and done _today_.  What he had planned might forever isolate Loralei, might even cause a swift end to his marriage, but it was a risk he was willing to take.  He could no longer sit back and do nothing.              __


	9. Playing Interference

CHAPTER 9—PLAYING INTERFERENCE

Loralei had bawled from the moment she left the parking garage until she pulled her car into the lot of the central office.  She was thoroughly surprised that she hadn't had some terrible car wreck.  Driving while crying wasn't an easy feat.  Part of her wondered how he had known she was home.  Another already knew the answer.  She had called Alex, of course, and either she had told him or he had heard the call.  Then again, she had to be honest with herself for a moment.  Deep down inside, she had wanted him to know.  She didn't quite have the nerve to call him up, so what was another way?  Oh yeah, call her friend and tell her she was home.  Call the friend standing in the very same room as her husband.  Sure, go right ahead and do it.  Alex would tell Donovan everything, because she wanted to help.  _Really slick, Loralei.  Really, really slick, you stupid bitch_.  If she had wanted to see him so badly, then why bother speeding away from him?  It was more than obvious he had wanted to talk to her, or he wouldn't have bothered.  It was the 'bound by duty' thing.  It was something she had to do if she wanted to remain sane, if she wanted to truly help her mentor, but at what cost?  Sighing, she glanced down at her wristwatch:  12:05.  _You're late.  Casey is going to **love** that_.  Wiping away her tears, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror.  Her face was pale, completely devoid of makeup.  She hadn't had the energy to even _attempt_ to fix her face.  She didn't care enough.  Her eyes were swollen and red, and she looked as if she had been on a five-day bender.  How long had it been since she had taken a brush to her hair?  _Goddamn, get yourself together_.  

Chance Casey stood at the window of his high-rise office.  He peered casually out onto the parking lot.  There were hundreds of cars out there, but not as many as there would be if it weren't lunchtime.  Movement from below caught his eye.  Some little splash of color seemed all too familiar.  A grin touched his lips and his eyes had begun to sparkle.  Kadin had finally made it back.  He had to put on his 'serious' face before she made it up to his office.  He found himself vaguely wondering why he had yet to hear from Frank Donovan.  He didn't know much about Kadin's husband, but he knew enough to discern that he was quite the unhappy camper regarding his wife's decision to come back to the trenches.  The FBI was relatively close to a small town neighborhood.  People talked, people whispered, and on and on.  Not only that, but he had also remembered the look on Donovan's face when he left after convincing Kadin to come back.  It was almost as if he had already known before hearing anything.  Why hadn't Donovan flown in by now?  That thought confused him more than anything.  Did the man not care about his wife?  Did he think this whole operation legitimate?  Was he slipping up?  Of course, Donovan staying out of his hair so long was a good thing.  The longer he stayed away, the better.  Kadin would go out on her mission, discover the truth, and then die in action.  Simple.  Open and shut.  Another thought entered his mind.  Jackson.  Thus far, he didn't think anyone had found his body yet.  If Jackson were found too soon, that would definitely garner Donovan's attention.  He thought he might manage to keep it hidden from Kadin, and if he could keep her away from her husband, she might never know that Jackson was already dead.  As he watched Kadin leaving her vehicle, he stepped back away from the window and went around to sit behind his desk.

Waiting impatiently, Loralei stood in front of the elevator.  She would have taken the stairs if she had had the energy, but there hadn't been any for days.  After a seeming eternity, the doors slid open.  After a ton of people exited the elevator, she quietly slipped inside the car.  Some type of fragrance drew her attention.  It lingered in the air around her, enticing her senses with its soft, musky scent.  It smelled like…Frank, like his cologne.  Suddenly, a memory so wonderful and yet so hurtful attacked her.  Her mind drifted back to the hotel in Florida, four and half months before Rachel was born.  She and Donovan had been separated a total of forty-eight hours, and when they had stepped inside the elevator together, he had made love to her hungrily, as if he hadn't seen her for months.  How many days had it been since she heard his voice?  Felt his touch?  _Uh God.  Too many_.  The elevator hitched, breaking her out of her reverie.  She could no longer smell the cologne.  Looking around the interior of the car, she shook her head violently.  Had she been hallucinating?  Did she miss him so much that she couldn't get away from even the hint of his scent?  _God, oh, God, what am I going to do_?

When Casey's assistant announced that Kadin was awaiting him outside, he put on his 'boss' face and planted his body firmly into his executive chair.  He watched with a hidden smile as Agent Loralei Kadin entered his office.  The last time she had been here, he had given her a thorough tongue-lashing [_actually, that image is quite nice_].  He noticed the same stilted nervousness in her gait as she crept toward the visitors' chairs.  Casey was almost disappointed when he saw that she had dressed down for the occasion.  She wore a hideous baggy black outfit that hid her curves.  He often wondered why she never turned him in when he felt her up back when she was still a rookie.  Of course, he knew sexual harassment complaints were relatively hard to prove, and Kadin _was_ a rookie.  It would be her word against his.  Perhaps that was what had motivated her to keep her mouth shut.  She found him distasteful, which had never been a big secret.  However, Casey came from the old school where he believed that women really meant 'yes' when they said 'no.'  His good old daddy had taught him that.  He hadn't thought of himself as a bad looking sort.  In fact, he received many appreciative glances from several women who worked in the building.  Yet, he wasn't quite good enough for Kadin.  Maybe it was because he wasn't powerful enough for her.  He wondered if he should cop a feel before he blew out her brains [_ahhhh, another nice image_].  Without thinking, he ran his tongue over his lips.

As Loralei sat down across from Director Casey, she felt an uncontrollable shiver run through her body.  She watched as he ran his tongue over his lips.  A look came across his face that almost brought a horrid memory to surface, but the side of her brain that protected her immensely [even more than Donovan] effectively blocked it out.  She sat back and crossed her arms and legs.  She was glad that she hadn't bothered dressing up or putting on makeup.  She wanted to appear as unattractive as possible.  Unconsciously, she began twisting her wedding and engagement rings round and round her finger.  Would the prick ever say anything to her?  She wanted this meeting over so that she could get out.  She didn't like being alone with him in his office.  She also didn't want him looking at her, but there was nowhere to focus her eyes.  She didn't want to stare down at her hands, giving him the impression that he had the upper hand.  

"Glad you survived hell week at the academy," Casey said with a slight smirk.  "Those intensive trainings can be worse than the initials.  You received glowing reviews as well.  I don't have to tell you that that is great news, especially since you've been off the mat so long.  So, what do you want first?  Good news or bad?"

"Is there any _good_ news," she asked flatly.  The only _good_ news would involve Jackson suddenly showing up.

_Bitch.  Still bawling over your hubby_.  "Of course.  The good news is that you'll not have to leave the state or even the city for that matter.  However, the bad news is that you can't make any contact with your husband.  Any contact could severely compromise the case, and might put Jackson's life in further jeopardy."

"You're keeping me _here_ without allowing me to at least see my child?"  He was still so very cruel.  "I thought you were sending me away.  I thought you said Jackson left a case and came here."

He shook his head.  Oh how he delighted in her grief.  She was a slave to duty.  He loved it.  "Jackson left an assignment.  He left one here, Kadin.  You're on it now, as well as assisting with the search of Jackson.  Your main function will be quite like a homecoming, Kadin.  Jackson was assisting ICD with yet another snuff case.  However, this one doesn't involve children."

Loralei was too stunned to say a word.  She glared at her former [now current] superior as if she had lost his mind.  ICD.  He had failed to mention that Jackson had been working an ICD case.  If he had told her it was ICD, she would have spat in his face and then asked questions later.  _Tricky tricky bastard_, she thought.  He knew that she had asked a dozen times to be transferred from ICD, he knew she hated working in that division.  Yet, he had tricked her.  She didn't doubt [not yet, anyway] that Jackson had been working it before her, but she didn't think Casey's memory loss was an accident.  "I find it very odd that you failed to tell me this at our last meeting," she said through clenched teeth.

Casey was amused now.  Ah yes.  He had pissed her right off.  Good.  He liked pissing her off.  She had pissed him off many, many times.  When she confessed she had been sleeping with Donovan, Casey itched to ask why she had consented to fuck him.  After all, she had kicked him in the nuts when he tried.  What made Donovan better than him?  He wanted to know so badly that even today, he was tempted to ask.  However, Kadin had more or less allowed that little 'incident' between them to slide, so he thought he might need to behave a few more days.  Thus far, the whole plan was falling together nicely, just as he had hoped when Jackson stumbled upon his files.  "Kadin, it shouldn't matter how you feel about this assignment.  Remember why you're here; remember why you're in it.  What I ask of you is very simple.  We'll set you up in the finest hotel, give you the best computer equipment, and keep close surveillance when you crack the sites.  It'll be just like the good ol' days, Kadin.  You were pretty good with your old machine.  I'm sorry that we can't dig it up for you, but you'll find the new one quite suitable.  Oh, and before I dismiss you, welcome back."

Loralei wanted to punch the smarmy smile off Casey's face.  Her anger wasn't as acute as it should have been.  After all, she had chosen the mission, she had accepted the call.  Who else could she blame?  Putting it on Casey would have been more than easy.  However, the true blame, the _real_ blame, fell upon her shoulders.  It wasn't Chance Casey, it wasn't even Loralei Donovan.  It was Loralei Kadin; only she would make such a mistake.  _Once a fuck up, always a fuck up_, she thought.  Loralei finally understood Donovan's anger, finally got a clue.  Of course, she would never understand his reasoning or even appreciate his caveman mentality, but somehow, it was her husband's way of basically warning her.  He hadn't said as much, but he certainly had gotten the point across.  However, it was too late to turn back now.  What made it worse was the fact that she wouldn't even leave the city of Chicago.  How could she work here, so close to Donovan, so close to her child without seeing them?  _I'll fix you, Casey.  I crack this fucking code in record time.  I'll find Jackson even if I have to search every corner of the city 24/7.  I'll fix you and fix you good_.

*  *  *

Donovan entered the Nest and the only two people hanging around were the ones he needed the most.  Luck was 'sort of' with him today.  Cody looked up nervously as the boss approached him.  Lately, he had been in a foul mood, and Cody wouldn't have been surprised if the boss had decided to pound on him just for shits and giggles.  

Donovan fixed his eyes on Cody's face before moving them to Monica's, and then moving them back to Cody.  "What I'm about to ask of you isn't exactly part of our operation, but in this case, it does involve an agent, and now, she's part of the family again.  Dig up Loralei's records from the FBI, especially those from her last tenure.  I want those that identify her status level.  It's _all_ I want."

Cody looked at Donovan almost stupidly.  "Boss?  When did this happen?  Did I sleep through something?"

It was Donovan's turn to look stupid.  He had finally found someone who didn't know about his argument with Loralei.  He sighed and ran his hand thoughtfully over his mouth.  "She was gone all week.  She came back from Quantico today.  We'll sit down, have coffee, and chat later.  Find this for me as soon as possible."  

"Sarcasm," Cody quipped.  "This is new."  Before Donovan could yell at him, he held up his hands defensively.  "I'm on it, Boss, really."

Instead of going up to his office as Cody had hoped, Donovan stayed downstairs with him and Monica.  He had begun pacing back and forth.  His own suspicions led him to her file.  He didn't think Loralei's records should be sealed.  She hadn't been in on any special op assignments.  He was afraid that Loralei had stepped into some type of trap, and if his hunch was right, the entire team might have to intervene.  It was taking longer than Donovan's comfort level, but Cody was doing everything humanly possible.

"Boss, got it," Cody suddenly announced.  "Loralei Shana Kadin."

Donovan stopped pacing, went in behind Cody, and leaned over his shoulder.  "Find her status."

"Hang on."  

Cody began to scroll through pages and pages of documents.  Donovan watched as Cody flipped through what appeared to be dozens of transfer requests from ICD.  None other than Chance Casey had denied each request.  On the very last page, Donovan saw the write up warning she had received while working Case #1366136, a.k.a., BHK.  Casey had typed in a few notes:  _Transfer for Agent K. has been put in the works.  Has accepted new assignment instead of taking alternate punishment.  Will not work in this regional office.  Move K. to the eastern region.  Ethical violation Code #8699669_.  Donovan was a little surprised to see that she had accepted the transfer.  He knew that she had quit, but he hadn't known that she chose to go to another regional office before choosing to live with him.  Alex was right.  She _had_ given up her life for him.  He had always known her sacrifice was great, but he hadn't had any _real_ idea.  Tearing his eyes away from those few lines, he began scanning the bottom of the document.  He found what he was looking for underneath the _For Staff Only_ line.  Under 'status' he saw a word that stopped his heart for a few brief seconds.  It wasn't 'inactive' or even 'active.'  It was 'retired.'  They hadn't even updated her most recent status, but the fact remained the same.  

"Goddamn," Donovan spat.  "Casey lied to her," he said incredulously.  His cell phone began to ring.  He dug it out of his jacket and flipped it open.  "Donovan." 

"May I speak to Loralei Donovan," a man's voice asked.

Why would anyone call Loralei on his cell phone?  "I'm Loralei's husband.  Who is this?"

"Detective Jimmy Barnes, homicide division Chicago PD," he said.  

Donovan's heart stopped beating for a moment.  What the hell?  "What do you want with my wife," he asked after he was finally able to speak.  "Is something wrong?"

"Well, Mr. Donovan, we have a body here, and he had a slip of paper in his pocket with this number scribbled down.  It said 'backup for Loralei Donovan.'  We're not sure who this guy is, and we need her to identify the body."

His mind began to buzz.  They had the body of a man with his cell phone as Loralei's backup number.  Bart fucking Jackson.  "She isn't available right now.  I think I may know who this man is.  Would it be possible for me to do this?"

"Sure," Detective Barnes said.  "We need to ID the guy so we can contact his next of kin, unless you're it?"

"No," Donovan said absently.  "Not related.  I'll be there in twenty."

Donovan had been in his fair share of morgues, and the task of visiting them was never a pleasant job.  In his heart of hearts, he hoped that the body didn't belong to Jackson, but it couldn't be anyone else.  Who would have his cell phone number other than someone who knew Loralei?  If Jackson was dead, it meant that Loralei might be the next intended target.  He watched grimly as the morgue attendant pulled out the shelf that held the man's dead body as if it were some type of grotesque treat.  With a dramatic flourish, the attendant drew back the white sheet.  Donovan shook his head and a low groan escaped him.  Whoever had murdered him had done the job spectacularly well.  His chest had a huge gaping hole where he had been shot numerous times.  The first blast had probably ended his life, but the others came after he was dead in a terrible overkill.  It was nasty and brutal.  For a moment, his eyes saw Loralei laid out on the slab instead.

"It's Bart Jackson, he's an agent with the FBI.  I'll take care of notifying the Bureau.  Who found him?"

The detective who had accompanied Donovan to the morgue said, "A couple of kids fooling around in the woods stumbled upon the body.  He was buried in a shallow grave, but probably wouldn't have been found at all if a couple of woodland creatures hadn't been sniffing around."

Donovan made a mad dash back to the Nest.  "Look up everything on FBI Director Chance Casey," he barked toward Cody as he came inside.  He took the stairs two at a time up to his office and grabbed the phone.  He dialed up his direct superior.  Without a 'hello' or a 'how are you,' he said, "An FBI agent was murdered.  His name is Bart Jackson and he works under Chance Casey.  I want my team on this, and I believe that Director Casey was involved with this murder.  You will want to speak to Detective Jimmy Barnes at the Chicago PD, precinct 767."

After securing a promise that his request would be considered, Donovan went back downstairs to see if Cody had found any dirt on Casey.  "Do you have anything for me?"

Cody sighed in frustration.  "Nope.  Nothing.  Not even a ticket for jaywalking.  What's going on?"

Donovan sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose for a second or two.  "Director Casey coaxed Loralei into coming back to the FBI in order to aid in the search for a missing agent.  He lied and said that her status was inactive when it was actually something else.  She took this assignment, and now the man who he reported as MIA was found murdered.  I believe Casey killed Jackson or had him killed, and will now try to do the same to Loralei."

"A dirty FBI director," Monica spat.  

Donovan nodded.  "I think so.  Cody, how often do they update those status files?"

Cody shrugged.  "Not sure, probably every week or so."

"Keep checking Loralei's records.  As soon as you find out where she's assigned, I want to know."

A couple of hours later, Donovan reached over to answer his ringing telephone.  "Donovan."

"Frank this is Shoemaker.  What, exactly, is your _true _interest in this case?"

Donovan found himself rubbing the bridge of his nose again.  Apparently, his superiors had done some of their own digging.  Shoemaker's voice gave away no confusion of the facts.  Why lie?  "You must know."

Shoemaker was a new face, but not a new start.  He had worked with men like Donovan before.  "We gathered the necessary information surrounding Agent Jackson's death, and when we searched his caseload, his last active case is now assigned to Agent Loralei Kadin, who appears to have been sworn in again late this afternoon.  I'm new around here, but isn't Agent Kadin your wife?"

"She is," he stated sedately.  "She was drawn back to the Bureau through Chance Casey, and I'm almost certain that he is somehow responsible for Agent Jackson's death.  I think we should be sent in, allowed to work with the agents on whatever case Jackson had, and given the opportunity to check out Casey fully."

"Come on, Frank, what's the real deal," Shoemaker asked gently.  "You can't use your SO team to settle personal scores.  Why should we send you in on a case that may or may not have anything to do with Director Casey?"

Donovan sighed angrily.  "I am _not_ trying to interfere with Loralei's case.  I'm not asking to be put in so I can know her every move.  Yes I'm worried, yes I want to protect my wife, but I also want to make sure that if Casey is dirty, we bring him down.  Give me the clearance I need to do this.  Give me the clearance I need to fully inspect Casey's background.  Cody is probably the best computer expert in the country, but he can't find anything.  Something has to be in his record.  There is one dead agent laid out on a slab.  Would you like to shoot for two?"

"I'll see what we can do, but I can't promise anything.  The only thing I can give you now is clearance to inspect Casey's history," he said.

"Thank you.  If we can't find anything that casts some doubt on Casey, we'll back off," he said.

It took approximately an hour and a half for the restriction codes to be lifted.  Cody went into 'serious search mode' and began digging through Casey's records.  "Wow, what a colorful past this guy had."

"What do you mean," Donovan asked.

"No, Boss, I don't want to get you excited.  He has a long history in criminal justice.  Oops, spoke too soon."

Donovan came around behind Cody again.  "What?  What is it?"

"A good little bite, Boss.  Seems Casey was fired from a job in 1996.  Wow.  What a naughty boy."

Strangely enough, Casey's violation didn't appear to be a big deal.  _Termination Code #8675309.  Abuse of state property.  Downloading pornography during company time on a state owned computer_.  "This was deemed bad enough to be classified," Donovan asked incredulously.

Cody shrugged.  "I guess so, Boss.  Oh, by the way, found out where Loralei was assigned.  ICD-Internet Crimes Division."

"ICD," he spat as if hearing it for the first time.  Loralei had worked ICD before transferring to field duty.  What had she said?  She broke up child porn rings?  Casey had gotten fired for downloading pornography.  Oh God.  It was starting to make sense.  "Where is she?"

"Uhhhhh," Cody said as he worked his magic.  "Lemme see.  She's working from the Chicago regional office." 

"Chicago," he spat.  "_She's in fucking Chicago_?"

"Looks that way, Boss.  Didn't you know?"

He stared at Cody as if he had lost his mind.  "Does it look like I know?  I'm calling Shoemaker.  This should be enough to send us in.  We have to approach Loralei and whoever is working with her.  Director Casey cannot know this.  Call Jake and Alex and tell them to come immediately."

Monica glanced at Cody.  "Did you get all that?"

Cody snorted.  "Barely."


	10. Picking Up The Pieces

CHAPTER 10—PICKING UP THE PIECES

Casey hadn't lied when he said her hotel room would be 'nice.'  The room was a huge suite with enough computer equipment inside to make Cody salivate.  However, with all its amenities, it was cold and lonely.  It also killed her to know that Donovan and Rachel were no more than a mile from her and she could see neither of them.  In the weirdest of ironies, Casey had deemed Loralei lead agent on this particular case, and there were a couple of other agents helping out.  One of them was a rookie very much like herself back in the day.  _Here you are thinking of yourself as seasoned agent.  How long were you in before you left_?  Her field supervisor was a fellow named Lee Fielder, and he had stationed himself in the suite adjoined to hers.  At around nine a.m. of Loralei's third day back on the job, Agent Fielder received a phone call from the SO Division of the DOJ.  He spent a good portion of the morning working through the information faxed to him from a fellow by the name of Frank Donovan.  Of course, he couldn't believe his eyes.  What was being said about Chance Casey was a bit hard to swallow.  However, he swallowed it.  He really didn't have a choice.  He pecked on the adjoining door and asked Kadin if she were decent.  When she proclaimed she was, he told her about their top-secret meeting that would be conducted at noon in his suite that was devoid of computers and surveillance equipment.  She was to tell no one.  When she questioned Fielder, he did not elaborate.

At noon, Loralei begged off her seemingly endless hacking job and gave charge of it to the rookie.  "If Casey calls, tell him I'm at lunch," Loralei said.  She pounded on Fielder's adjoining door and he called out for her to come in.  When she entered the room, the other parties to the meeting had arrived.  At first, she thought she was hallucinating again.  Surely she hadn't heard what she thought she did.  Couldn't be.  Couldn't be in a million years.  Before she barreled into the room, she peeked around the corner and gasped aloud.  Donovan, and not _just_ Donovan.  It was his whole damn team.  She felt two intense ways at once.  She was livid, but she was also ecstatic.  The mixed emotions swirling about her settled into her heart and head, and both began to ache simultaneously.  _How did he find out?  How in the **fuck **did he know?  _She wanted to snatch him bald and fuck him until he couldn't walk.  Goddamn him.  He was a human bulldozer, and seemingly couldn't be stopped by any force known to man.  

"Agent Kadin," Fielder called.  "Are you there?"

She came out of her hiding place ever so slowly.  She needed the time to get her shit together.  If she didn't, she thought she just might strangle her husband and his agents.  "I'm here," she said.  The instant she came out into full view of the other people in the room, Donovan fixed an intense gaze on her.  When she got him alone, she intended to chew him out from one end to the other.  By the time she was through with him, he might walk out today with one less appendage on his body.  She met his gaze and dared him with her eyes to smirk or raise his infernal eyebrow.  

Without breaking his gaze, Donovan said, "Maybe you should call her Agent Donovan."

She had no idea what she was going to say until the words tumbled bitterly out of her mouth.  "Maybe you should call an attorney," she said calmly.  She wondered if he picked up on her forced bravado and the obvious bluff.  He had; she could see it plainly in his eyes. 

Fielder was a bit oblivious and a lot confused.  Donovan had failed to mention that Loralei was his wife.  How awkward.  He knew she was married, but he had wrongly assumed that Kadin was her married name.  The quartet of agents seated near Donovan had passed a look amongst them:  _did she really say that_?

The field supervisor cleared his throat.  "If we could, ah, get past this awkward moment, perhaps we can find out what's going on.  Agent Ka-Do, uh, Loralei, if you'll take a seat, we can get started."

Loralei tore her eyes off her husband's face long enough to walk around to an empty seat.  _How convenient_, she thought when she noticed that her chair faced Donovan's.  He would see her face throughout the entire 'meeting.'  She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for that bastard she loved more than life itself to speak.  She was sure he wouldn't explain how he had found her, not until they were alone.  _Do I **want** to be alone with him?  Do I even?_  Without changing her annoyed facial expression, she asked, "Would you like to explain your presence, Agent Donovan, or would you prefer to continue staring at me?"

_How to begin?  How to begin?  _"Your tenure with ICD a few years ago was the catalyst, so to speak, of my team's involvement, Agent _Donovan_," he said in a mocking voice that irritated the hell out of her.  However, after those words left his mouth, he changed his tone and went into 'all-business' mode.  "Your director has a bit of a shady past, and he lied about your status to bring you back."  For all his hurt and anger, this news would be the hardest to break to her, and he felt himself shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  He didn't enjoy hurting her, and this would definitely do the trick.  "I hate to tell you this, but Agent Bart Jackson is dead.  His body was found out in the woods by a young couple.  He was shot numerous times in the chest.  I'm almost certain your director was involved.  I'll even go as far to say that he probably murdered him, and now he's set to murder you.  He had a job in 1996 with the state of Illinois, but was fired due to downloading pornography to his work computer.  He may be tied to some type of current or past Internet crime.  You were asked to come back, and he's setting you up.  If you need proof, Cody has it."  His voice had softened quite a bit, he couldn't help it.  The instant he told her Jackson had been murdered, her expression changed from extreme anger to devastating grief in a matter of seconds.  He ached to reach across the table to take her into his arms.

If she had just met Frank Donovan, she would have believed that what he had just told her was the most ridiculous drivel she had ever heard.  However, that wasn't the case.  She had been closer to him than any other man in her life.  Ninety-eight percent of the time, she could accurately identify every emotion, every thought running through his mind.  She had touched his heart hundreds of times, and he had done the same to her.  His words were nothing more than the basic facts, the simple truth.  Her friend, her mentor, the man who had been her brother was dead.  She wasn't prepared to deal with that harsh fact of life.  It was the only thing she didn't want to believe.  Of course, she knew that Donovan would never mislead her in such way no matter how protective he was of her.  She was so angry with him that she could have easily broken his nose, but he had given her the crude reality of the situation.  Even as much as he disliked the man, he knew that she loved him like a brother, and he would no more purposely hurt her than she would him.  Suddenly, she didn't feel much like an agent at all.  She was Donovan's wife, the mother of his child.  Forgetting the other people in the room, she spat, "What are you doing here?  Checking up on me?"

Her grief had overtaken her rationality.  "No, not checking up on you.  We're here to help, Loralei," Donovan said slowly, choosing his words carefully.  Her anger had started to creep back into her voice.  "We've been assigned to investigate Chance Casey, and to put an end to any plot he may have against you or any other agent assigned under him."

Loralei tore her eyes away and looked at Fielder.  "Lee, do you mind if I take a break?  I need to breathe, and I can't do it in here."  

Without waiting for a yay or nay from her superior, she stood and fled the room.  She went back into her suite and headed straight for the bathroom.  She collapsed in front of the toilet as the bile rose into her throat.  She dry heaved for thirty minutes or more, but her sickness was not relieved until the thought of Jackson's death slowly crept into her mind.  After that, she and the toilet became very close friends.  In the midst of her stomach's explosive pyrotechnics, she heard the adjoining door come open and then bang shut.  She didn't have to look up to know it was Donovan.  Before he could make it to the door of the bathroom, she swung it shut with a resounding bang.  It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, didn't want him to comfort her, but she couldn't face him just yet.  Regardless of how much she loved him or how long they'd been married, she didn't want to throw up in his presence.  The one thing she hated above all else was to appear weak before her overprotective, duty-bound husband.  Besides that, she didn't want to see the smug 'I told you so' look on his face.  _You know he wouldn't do that to you, not in this instance.  Give your husband some credit_. He had a ton of explaining to do outside what he already told her, but if she were to speak to him right now, she might projectile vomit all over him.  Her stomach was tied in knots and it would take hours to loosen them.  

Not one to give up easily, he pecked on the door with the knuckle of his forefinger.  "You don't have to let me in, just tell me that you're all right," he said.

Her gag reflex was working overtime and it attacked her yet again.  "I'm fine," she spat through clenched teeth.  She banged the lid down on the toilet as her eyes narrowed to slits.  She laid her cheek against the cool porcelain.  She wanted to be left here for the rest of her life locked up in this swank room with real porcelain fixtures.  Yet, this was real life, and real people dealt with their issues, they didn't hide from them.  Regardless of her anger and grief, she had to deal with her husband, even if it meant screaming at him until she felt better.  She brought herself up to her feet, her legs shaking the whole time, and walked over to the sink.  She splashed her face with cold water until her skin grew numb.  When she swung open the bathroom door, her stubborn caveman husband had yet to move away.  As she blotted her face dry with a towel, she shoved past him and closed the bedroom door.  He had made a stupid move coming into her room.  He probably knew it, but didn't give a ripe fuck.  If Casey were to hear his voice over surveillance, the game would end before it began.

Whirling around to face him, she noticed that he hadn't moved one step from his position in front of the bathroom door.  He had only turned to face her.  Taking a deep breath to avoid screaming at him, she spat, "What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?  Can you _not_ let me do this on my own?  Can you _not_ keep your nose out of something that has little to do with you or your team?  How did you convince your superiors to let you come in on your big white horse to save the fucking day?"

Strangely enough, her acid laced words didn't bite his flesh at all.  They simply rolled off him as a bullet might roll off Superman.  She had been shocked and now, she wanted to sink her teeth into him, and he could accept that.  Eventually, she would see it and understand.  "I've never doubted your capability, Loralei.  That was never a question at all.  I'm sure that you would have drawn the same conclusions as I, but would you have had time to get out?  Would you have had the ability to survive?  It takes no more than five seconds to cease the beating of a person's heart.  You would have walked right into his trap.  Your mind is not in this, nor is your heart.  I know this, Loralei, I know because I see you.  I'm inside you.  Do you understand?  Sidetracked, one set of eyes can get you killed, but you have mine, and now you have four others.  We're here to help, not to hinder.  If you can't accept that, I can't help it.  We're here, we're entrenched, get used to it."

"Goddamn it, Frank," she spat.  "_God…damn…you._"

Her feet were planted firmly on the floor, her arms were crossed over her chest, and the towel she had used hung over one shoulder.  Her face was drawn into a vicious pucker of disgust.  However, it was almost the funniest thing he had ever seen.  Her best comeback was 'goddamn you.'  At least she hadn't called him 'MAN' or 'Boss.'  The situation wasn't funny at all, and he knew he shouldn't have been as amused as he was.  The laugh that escaped the depths of his throat was bitter and harsh.  "Is that all you've got, Agent _Donovan_?"

"Bastard," she spat angrily.  She opened the door.  "Get out.  I don't want you here."

He nodded sedately with every intention of honoring her request.  Lately, he had honored lots of requests even when he totally disagreed with them.  He walked toward the opened door.  Before he went out, he stopped and took hold of the hand that grasped the doorknob ever so tightly.  His touch was gentle, loving.  "I'm genuinely sorry about Jackson.  I wish it could be taken back."  Without giving her the opportunity to speak, he slipped quietly out of the room and went back to Fielder's room.

When Loralei got herself under some type of control, she made her own return to Fielder's room so the group could set up some type of plan and a contingency follow up if their initial failed.  Loralei would work mostly with Cody [much to her relief].  After having words with her husband earlier, the two of them hadn't spoken more than five words to each other for the rest of the day.  Be that as it may, Loralei's hand almost burned where Donovan had touched it.  She and Cody worked for a couple of hours so he could learn the set up.  Of course, as she expected, it didn't take long.  

"Grade school stuff," Cody said with a wink.  Loralei had laughed in spite of herself.  "You know, it's nice seeing you guys together, even if you aren't talking," he said.

Her laughs dried up quickly.  She nodded.  "Thanks."

*  *  *

Loralei chased Cody and the other agents out of her room by around nine that night.  She had shutdown every machine, but left Supercomputer, Jr. running.  Cody had helped her program the machine to continually break encrypted code until it found the script that would break into the taboo site.  He had installed an alarm that would scream out "EUREKA" in his voice if it were found.  He had also booby-trapped the machine where no one but she and Cody could access it.  He was such an asset, and Loralei wondered why the CIA hadn't snatched him up.  She had also chased the people away because she had a headache and needed to eat.  She locked herself in her room and ordered a meal from room service.  While ordering the food, she thought she was hungry enough to eat a horse.  However, once it arrived, she couldn't touch it.  Suddenly, the idea of eating seemed too big a feat to tackle.  Somewhere in this hotel, her husband lurked.  She wanted to see him, wanted to talk to him.  The riff that had grown so out of control seemed to be getting larger by the second.  She found herself wondering if the damage could be repaired.  She wondered if she could slip away long enough to see her baby.

For the time being, Loralei shoved the food tray away.  She would go in and take a bath.  Bathing sometimes helped alleviate any stress that decided to attack her body.  Of course, this hotel had super deluxe facilities, and the sunken tub was large enough to bathe a baby elephant.  She also noticed that it had hot tub capabilities.  _Hot tub.  That just might work_, she thought.  She turned on the water to begin the timely process of filling the large tub.  Taking her time [_it'll take half an hour to fill that monster_], she stripped out of her clothes and twisted her hair up into a large clip.  She found herself gazing down at her hand.  She could still feel the brief touch of Donovan's hand.  It would have been so easy to grab his hand, jerk him forward, and then kiss him until they were both breathless.  She sighed.  _It's best not to think of that right now_.  She turned away from the bathroom mirror and glanced at the tub.  It had filled up quicker than she expected.  She climbed into it while it continued to fill and fingered the switch that would make the water bubble crazily.  Once the water reached the depth she wanted, she turned it off and leaned back.  The hot tub effect was exactly what she needed.  The hot water was relaxing every tense muscle in her body, and before long, her eyes closed and she dozed.  She was so relaxed that she didn't hear the card key sliding into the lock, nor did she hear the soft _snick_ as the door opened, nor the soft _click _as it closed.  Agent Loralei Kadin-Donovan was not alone.

He crept silently into the room.  There were several computers scattered here and there, but only one of them was on.  He glanced briefly at the screen before moving onward.  He thought he heard the rush of bubbles coming from the back of the suite.  There was a dim glow radiating from underneath a door.  _This must be the bathroom_, he thought.  He moved toward the door and reached out and grasped the doorknob.  It turned easily in his hand.  As quietly as possible, he opened the door and peered into the room.  He saw her sitting in a large sunken tub with her head leaned back.  She had to be napping, or she would have heard him by now, and she hadn't made one move.  He cautiously crept toward the tub, his hard soled shoes clacking against the tile.  Cursing under his breath, he slipped out of the shoes and pushed forward.  When he laid eyes on her face, he noticed that she was, indeed, asleep.  _Good.  She didn't hear me_.  

Loralei drew in a shocked breath that was more like a low scream as a hand fell on her naked shoulder.  Forgetting her naked, vulnerable state, she whirled around and drew her body halfway up.  Crouched before her with a slightly stunned look on his face was her husband.  "What the hell do you think you're doing," she yelled.  He didn't have time to say one word.  She drew her hand back and slapped him hard before he could even form a sentence.

Donovan gawped at her, completely not expecting such a vicious reaction.  Of course, he had snuck into her room like some crazed perverted Peeping Tom, and he deserved it.  He was certain she would soon aim lower and indeed wind up making Rachel an only child.  Loralei's arm came up and he tried to back away before she ended his ability to reproduce, but he didn't have time.  Her fist indeed came up but instead of aiming toward his nether region, she took hold of his shirt and jerked him violently forward.  Unable to find footing, he fell almost face first into the tub.  _What's she going to do?  Drown me?_

Before he sank under the hot water, she grabbed the back of his shirt and helped him up.  At that juncture, she was almost straddling him.  The look on his face was one of startled surprise and anger.  The look on hers was much, much different.  When he recognized the hungered want so very evident in her green eyes, he finally understood that she hadn't been trying to drown him at all.  Still a little uncertain, he tentatively moved his face closer and closer toward hers, giving her the chance to back away if she chose.  Instead of backing away, she took hold of his soaked shirt and jerked him forward again.  Their lips collided with force, and before he knew what was happening, her tongue had demanded and was given access to the inside of his mouth.  When he recovered from the overwhelming shock of the situation, his hand went up to the back of her head, nearly ripping the clip out, and tangled into her hair.  She broke away for a moment, but he wasn't done.  With his hand still tangled into her hair, he pulled her face forward and mashed his mouth onto hers, controlling the kiss on his own terms.

She finally managed to wrench her mouth off his as her hands went down to his shirt.  Thank God it was a button down and not a sweater.  At that point, she was certain she could probably rip him out of steel, but at least with a button down, she wouldn't have to work as hard.  The interesting part would be getting him out of his pants.  She didn't bother taking him out of the shirt, she was satisfied with ripping it open just enough to reveal his chest.  By that time, his mouth had wondered down to her throat, nipping and biting, and she pressed her body as close against his as she could, her breasts nearly flattened against his chest.  The feel of her hardened nipples against his skin after so long a time had an almost completely incapacitating effect, but he refused to be incapacitated right now.  Maybe later, maybe after giving her fifteen or twenty orgasms.

She leaned her body upward as his wandering lips traveled lower.  She gasped aloud as his lips captured each hardened nipple possessively.  He raked his teeth against them, dancing his tongue around them, as if they were tangoing to an endless melody.*  His own gasp escaped him as her hand settled between his thighs.  Dear God.  How long had it been?  Hadn't he thought that many, many times before?  Oh yeah, but it was never as intense as this, never had he needed her more.  Her hand began a slow, but urgent caress and his pulse had already begun to boom at his temples.  Getting him out of the soaked woolen slacks would be quite the feat, but Loralei was wily enough to figure out a way. 

Loralei moaned in frustration at the slight dilemma before her, but she wasn't about to give up.  Her hand stopped its maddening caress as her fingers moved up to the snap and zipper.  She pulled it down slowly, causing Donovan to moan in protest, in need.  She leaned back just a little and held onto the side of the tub for balance.  He watched, fascinated, as she brought her knees up.  Moments later, he felt her toes hooking into the waistband of his opened pants, dragging them down with the help from the water's momentum.**  _This is new_, he thought.  While her skillful toes [_was this something she learned at the _academy, he thought wonderingly] and feet worked the pants down his legs to his ankles, he began to help her out by working his legs toward her to help free them from their soaked prison.***  The only barrier left was his briefs, but they were hardly a barrier at all.  A few quick tugs, and they were gone.

She wasted no time impaling herself on him.  She drew him into her slowly, and he heard himself gasping/moaning again as he slid into the glorious warmth that gripped him as tightly as a long lost love.  Uh uh.  No.  He couldn't go slowly, he couldn't take it, not unless she truly intended to kill him.  His hands moved down to her waist and he dug his fingers into her flesh, hoping that he wasn't hurting her.  She moaned a little herself, but it wasn't a pained sound.  It was far, far from it.  When he was all the way inside her, she began moving her body against his, slow at first, but quicker as he matched her thrusts.  Her arms came up to rest directly over his shoulders and she fiercely gripped the tub behind him.  She wanted to dig her nails into his shoulders, but was afraid she might draw blood.  The motion of their bodies had caused the water to splash up all around them.  As their lovemaking intensified, the hot water began slopping out of the tub, pouring onto the floor.  They weren't inclined to notice.  The water pouring out around them had loosened Loralei's grip behind him, and her hands slipped off the tile.  For a moment, she felt the terrifying sensation of falling backward, but Donovan's hands grasped the small of her back, supporting her, and kept her connected to his body.  The upward jerking motion brought her to a sharp, sudden release, and a silky scream left her, one that Donovan didn't dare want to quiet.  She fell forward onto him and ended up digging her nails into his shoulder anyway.  Her pace picked up as she began to work on helping him give way to his own release.  Oh no.  He was stubborn, he wanted to control it, to make it last as long as possible.  As she seemingly grinded her body into his, his control began to slip bit by bit, and he managed to last a few minutes more.  He met his release with one last thrust, arching his body upward, and holding it in place.  Almost forever, he remained frozen in time.  He closed his eyes tightly and held his breath as sweet, agonizing ecstasy was unleashed inside him.  He began to wonder if he would ever breathe or move again.  He recovered slowly, almost panting against her.  Her lips were all over his face, kissing him, whispering his name over and over again.  Despite his intense, exhausting climax, he found the strength to tighten his hold on her body.  He didn't intend to let her go for the rest of the night, even if it meant sleeping in the tub.

*  *  *

*, **, and *** ---This is a shout out to TheDreamyOne for helping with these crucial little tidbits.  What was it that you said about 'like' minds?  Hahahaha.  THANK YOU!


	11. Afterward And Onward

CHAPTER 11—AFTERWARD AND ONWARD

This bed was no academy issue cot.  It was also a lot nicer than the standard, every day hotel bed.  It was quite large and soft.  Was this the first night Loralei had actually laid in it?  When she thought about it, she realized that she _hadn't _slept in it.  She had been spending her nights on the small couch stationed near the computer equipment.  Wow.  Heavy.  She wondered why she hadn't bothered sleeping in the bed before tonight.  _Oh yeah_, she thought with a lazy smile.  She hadn't had anyone _interesting_ to sleep with.  She snuggled up to her husband and laid her head on his shoulder.  His arm came up around her, and he had the greatest desire to hug her like a python.

"That little trick you did," he said, "where did you learn that?"

She leaned up over him.  "What trick?  That toe inside the pants thing?"

He smiled a little and nodded.  "Yeah.  That.  Where did you learn that?  You never did it before."

She bit her lip and lifted both of her eyebrows.  "Well, a girl tends to fantasize a bit when the man she loves isn't around."

Donovan brought his hand up and began caressing the silky fall of hair hanging just over her naked shoulder.  "Loralei, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry that something like this came between us.  I love you so much, that sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing or saying until it's too late."

She nodded.  "I know.  It's the same for me."  _I will not cry, I will not cry_.  "It was pretty bad, Frank, I…I was miserable."  Impatiently, she swiped at a stray tear rolling down her cheek.  "I thought…thought."  She stopped for a minute.  _Fuckin' crybaby_.  "I was scared, I've never been so scared in my life.  I thought we were going to lose each other, lose what we have."

His hand moved from her hair to her face.  "No, Loralei, never."

"Hold me, okay," she whispered.  "Can you just hold me?"

*  *  *

_Please don't let last night have been a dream_, she thought in her sleep.  She knew it was morning, because she could see the sun peeking through the top of the heavy drapes covering the window.  She wasn't quite ready to open her eyes, just in case last night _was_ a dream.  It couldn't be a dream.  She could smell Donovan all over the room, in the bed, and even on her skin.  It was wonderful and stupidly enough, she felt tears just behind her eyes.  _God, what's up with this crying thing_?  When she felt Donovan's warm lips pressing against the side of her throat, she was finally convinced that it wasn't a dream.  _Thank you, God_.  But then, she heard another noise that made her think again she was dreaming.  There was a familiar snuffling noise very close to her.  _No, it couldn't be.  Okay, so I guess I **am **dreaming_.

"Wake up, baby, someone is here to see you," Donovan whispered in her ear.

She opened her eyes and looked up into Donovan's.  Lying between her and her husband was their baby.  "Oh my sweetheart," Loralei whispered as she lifted the infant into her arms.  "Oh God, Frank, I loved you before, but I love you even more for doing this for me."  She leaned toward him and kissed him deeply.  When she pulled away, she thought of something else.  "No one saw you bring her, did they?"

He shook his head.  "No.  Everything is still on shut down.  I have your mother waiting downstairs in the restaurant.  In a few hours, she'll have to go," he said, almost apologetically.

She kissed him again.  "It's okay.  I'll take what I can get."  

A couple of hours later, Donovan returned to Loralei's room after he took Rachel back to Geneva Kadin.  He heard her sobbing quietly the moment he entered the room.  He went to her and climbed in bed beside her.  She had her back facing him and her shoulders shook with the force of her sobs.  He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him.  "Shh.  Hey.  It's okay, baby," he whispered.  "You'll see her again.  Don't do this to yourself.  Please don't do this."  He shifted his body slightly as he felt her move.  She turned toward him and buried her face in her favorite secure spot.  Her skin felt warm and fevered against his neck.  He tightened his hold on her body and held her close.  He couldn't comfort her the way he wanted, because no matter what he said, her tears wouldn't dry until she had cried herself out.

*  *  *

Later that morning, Chance Casey had just sauntered into his office.  It had been a few days, and Kadin and her group had yet to stumble upon the website.  He wondered what had taken them so long to find it.  Was Kadin's computer hacking skills lacking?  She had been out of the game for a while; perhaps she had lost her feel for the work.  His face puckered in a maw of disgust.  She would rather cozy up to her slimy husband than focus on her work.  He knew Kadin was distracted, and he hoped her mindset would help his mission along a bit faster.  Nope.  He was just one unlucky fucker.  Yet, she was also pissed at him for dragging her into ICD again, and she would probably work twice as hard to crack the case just to get away from that division.  Of course, the way he had it figured, she had no more than two or three days to live.  After Kadin was eliminated, he would be free.  There was still no sign of Frank Donovan.  Everything seemed to be falling into place.

"Director Casey," the voice of his assistant said, "Agents Kadin and Fielder are here for the morning briefing."

_Ugh._  "Okay.  Send them in."

Playing it as cool as possible, Loralei and Fielder entered Casey's office and quietly took a couple of seats that were parked in front of Casey's desk.  Something seemed out of kilter this morning.  Casey wasn't certain what it was.  He glanced at Kadin.  Her appearance seemed quite different this morning.  For the first time in days, she had actually taken steps to take care of herself.  Her face was made up, her hair brushed and styled, and she wore a nice dark blue suit that seemed to be tailor made for her.  She almost…glowed.  It was weird.  What had changed?  What little something had happened to her for her to do a total 360?  Had she seen Donovan?  Had she somehow slipped out and gone to her husband?  Surely she hadn't.  She wouldn't have defied his orders, would she?  _Would she_?  Had Donovan come to her?  Were he and his team here now?  The thoughts entered his mind in machine gun fashion.  _Cool it.  You're getting paranoid_.  He couldn't help it.  Everything had been working perfectly until this morning.  He couldn't simply allow Kadin's appearance to freak him out.  So she glowed, so she fixed her hair and face, so she seemed less jittery.  So so so so so so.  It didn't mean anything, it really didn't.  His plan was still iron clad, still running smoothly.  If Donovan had been called in, he would have been notified by now.  He had to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent asking Kadin if she had gotten a good old-fashioned fuck from her husband.  

It was no secret that Loralei felt tons better today than she had in a couple of weeks.  However, it took extreme control for her to hold onto her temper.  She was tempted to fly across his desk and beat him senseless.  He had murdered Bart Jackson, a man who should have been sitting in Casey's seat years ago.  _You took out such an honorable man, you sick fuck.  I am so close to whipping out my service revolver and putting a bullet in your brain_.  It might make her feel better, but of course, it would ruin the case.  She wasn't so sure that her field supervisor had bought the story Donovan had told him.  The two of them had talked about it on the way to the morning briefing.  Fielder claimed he would assist the team in any way to bring justice to Jackson's killers, but he hadn't said one way or another if he believed Donovan, even after Cody had shown him the supporting documentation.  She hoped that Fielder wouldn't spill his guts to Casey or mention the UC team offhandedly.  Although she suspected Fielder had doubts, she didn't.  Donovan was hardly wrong about anything.  He could take a hunch, run with it, and walk away victorious.  She had seen him in action dozens of times.  Like those other times, he _was not_ wrong about Casey.  She vaguely wondered if Casey was aware that she and the other agents were onto him.  Loralei's mind began to drift again.  Had her director been running his own child porn operation somewhere in Chicago?  The thought drove her mad and made her sick at the same time.  Simply sitting in his office looking at him made her nauseous.  She felt the all too familiar tickle as acrid bile attempted to rise into her throat.  She fought mightily against her knotted up stomach.  At that moment, she was quite tempted to let it go and vomit all over him and his pristine desk.  He would definitely _love_ that.  The image of disgust and anger on Casey's face almost made her smile.  

Casey stopped studying her for a moment to focus his eyes elsewhere.  He was staring at Kadin way too much, and he didn't want to make her suspicious.  "So, I know as of last night, there weren't any major breakthroughs.  I should hope that you have Agents Bey and LaKonte working furiously this morning while you're sitting so comfortably in my office.  Kadin, you _are_ running this operation 24/7, aren't you?"

_How would you like a flag of puke in your lap, you son-of-a-bitch_?  "Of course, Director Casey.  Bey, LaKonte, and I switch shifts.  We expect to have the code broken at any time."  _Or sooner if Cody is as much of a genius as I think he is._  "This particular site has a lot of booby traps and viruses.  This person is quite crafty."  _Actually, you're an idiot, but I have to bullshit you, don't I_?  "So far, I haven't harmed my new baby yet.  The computer was built by Superman, wasn't it?"

_You smarmy bitch.  I have the greatest urge to shove my cock down your snarky little throat.  How would you like that?_  Kadin was playing some kind of game, he was sure.  He kept thinking that Donovan had to be lurking about somewhere.  Perhaps he needed to isolate each agent and ask him or her separately.  Bey was a rookie, and should be easy to intimidate.  LaKonte was a bit more seasoned.  Or perhaps Fielder would break first.  Fielder had the brown-nose syndrome down pat.  He wanted to be the FBI director when he grew up.  "You may have a point, Kadin," he said with a bright, false smile.  "We had an ex-CIA man doctor up the computers to keep them safe.  You shouldn't have any problems with booby trap viruses.  It would have been nice to have such unique machines back when you were a rookie, huh?"

_Puke on him.  Puke.  Go ahead.  Do it.  It might be good for a laugh at least.  If he calls me 'Kadin' like that one more time, I'll send him a bucket of puke in the mail_.  "That's nice to know.  The machine is quite nice."  _I'm sick of stroking your ego.  I want to beat the shit out of you.  I want to hold you down and let those children you abused beat the shit out of you.  Puking on you is not a bad enough punishment.  I hate you, you fucker, you make me sick._  "By the way, what happened to my first baby?"

_I fucked it up the ass, you cunt._  "Supercomputer, Sr.?  We retired it."  _Actually, I smashed it with a sledgehammer, and then I pissed on the pieces.  After that, I masturbated and blew my wad on it._  "It's all obsolete now, you know.  Fielder, do you have anything to add before I dismiss you?"

_'Camptown races sing this song, doo dah, doo dah…'  _"No, Director Casey, I don't."

He nodded.  "Okay.  Kadin, I suppose you can go back and get busy."  _I have half a mind to bash in your skull with my paperweight.  _

Loralei stood first and Fielder took her lead.  "Of course.  Oh, and just for the record, Director Casey, I _am_ married now, and I would prefer for you to address me as Donovan."  Of course it didn't matter one way or another what he or anyone called her, but she absolutely hated the way he said her maiden name.  It was almost like he stressed the two syllables to make it sound ugly and flat [_Kay-den_].  Knowing the prick, he probably did.  "If you need me, you know where to find me."

_Yes, **Donovan**, I know.  The question is, will your husband know where to find your dead body?  Six feet under, you bitch, that's where you deserve to be_.  "I can certainly address you as Donovan if that's what you'd like.  I never thought of you taking a man's name.  You were always so independent."

It took Fielder's hand grasping her arm to keep Loralei from flying over his desk.  She controlled her rage by putting her arm behind her back and clenching her fist so tightly, that she could feel her fingernails digging into her flesh.  "That hasn't changed, Casey, only my last name.  Actually, I decided to take his last name because of this wonderful private joke between us.  Loralei Shana Donovan.  LSD.  Get it?  My husband has a great sense of humor, along with one hell of an intuitive nature.  Keep in touch."

Casey watched as Kadin and Fielder left his office.  He would definitely check with the other agents separately.  Something fishy was going on, and he had to get to the bottom of it.  Kadin's death was imminent now.  He would somehow have to get her alone and fix her but good.  He hated the bitch, hated her more than he hated her before.  He should have eliminated her back then when he had the opportunity.  _Bitch denied me, and I could have easily thrown her out the window.  Why didn't I_?  He didn't because he had intended to keep trying, but something else thwarted him.  Frank Donovan, the fucker.  After she confessed, he had been tempted to take her out back then, but the Black Heart had taken care of that…almost.  When the bitch recovered, he lost his opportunity altogether, because what do you know…she moved in with and married the man she had been 'watching' [which had turned into fucking…slut].

*  *  *

Loralei and Fielder returned to the hotel, going to their separate suites.  She entered hers and noticed the hub of activity going on inside it.  Agent Bey had taken first watch with Cody, and Loralei watched the two of them with an amused smile.  Bey was flirting with Cody a little, and her sudden attention was flustering the computer wizard.  She tore her eyes away from the spectacle and leaned over Bey's shoulder.  The computer continually broke code after code, only pausing when it hit a virus.  However, it would rebound quickly and continue chewing line after line of script.  Another thought entered her mind, disturbing her.  What was the connection?  What could she almost see but not?  _Goddamn it_.  She straightened her body and stepped back, bumping into Donovan, and then trampling his toe.

"Oh shit, baby, I'm sorry," she said as she sidestepped back out of his way.  "You shouldn't sneak up on me like that.  Are you okay?"

He smiled a little.  "I think I'll live.  I've had worse happen to me."  He gently grasped her arm and took her to the other side of the room.  "Fielder let me in on your little meeting this morning with Casey.  I don't think it'll take him long to figure out we're here."

She nodded.  "I know.  He probably already suspects it.  I think he might try to isolate Bey, LaKonte, and Fielder to see if they'll break and talk.  I'm worried, Frank.  Bey is a rookie and might be easily intimidated by Casey.  He's oily."  The thought of Bey going in by herself unsettled her.  _What is it?  What fucking is it_?  I think he may be losing it."  She chuckled bitterly.  "Hell, he lost it years ago.  I can tell he still _loves _me."

"Be careful around him, Loralei.  He drew you in for a reason, and I don't think he'll give up even if he does find out we're here."

She took his hand in hers and raised it up to her lips.  "I'll be fine," she said with a smile.  "I'm armed now.  Remember?"

He laughed.  "That you are, my love."  Donovan leaned down to kiss her when a resounding EUREKA burst from the computer's speakers.

Both knew immediately that the code had been broken.  They approached Bey and Cody as the screen began to dance and blink crazily.  When the site finally popped up and came into clear focus.  Loralei gasped aloud.  The site owner didn't want to remain hidden, at least from Loralei.  She understood how Jackson was tied into it as well.  He saw the very same image and it likely made him gasp as loud as she just had.  Behind her, she heard Donovan's own sharp intake of breath.  He gritted his teeth as a sound of utter disgust left him.  Jackson, Loralei, and Donovan were the only three people in the room who would have seen the immediate connection.  Just above a blinking "ENTER HERE" logo was a photo of Loralei as a child, or at least the face was Loralei as a child.  Her head had been superimposed on the naked body of an adult female.  The neck was slit, spouting blood; the arms and legs of the body were bound by cuffs and attached to a torture device.

"Shut it down," Donovan demanded.  "I can't look at it anymore."

Loralei stood back, nearly tripping over her husband again, and he laid a steadying hand on her arm.  She drew away from him and continued to step back.  The image on the screen didn't bother her, the thought of who had built this website didn't bother her.  What bothered her was the onset of a vivid memory.  She remembered breaking the code on a snuff site, and then it had implanted a virus into her machine _and _Casey's.  He had built the site directly from his own damn office.  She then recalled going to Casey to repair his sick machine.  He had _touched_ her, had tried to _rape_ her.  The bile rose in her throat yet again.  She barely made it to the bathroom.  As she hung her head over the toilet, she understood, she finally understood. Jackson had found the site first and made an instant connection; Casey had killed him before he could tell her.  As Donovan had said, he then drew the only other person back into the fold who would uncover his secret a second time.  Of course, after he eliminated them, he could continue to carry out his sick deeds.  What he had done to Jackson and what he wanted to do to her was hardly scratching the surface of an even larger problem.  She thought of all those _people_, all those _children_, he had harmed.  It was too much.  The bile rose again, and again, she was sick.  _Oh God, oh God, oh God_.

Donovan came just moments later and before she knew what was happening, he was on the floor with her, holding her.  She hadn't even realized she had begun whimpering like a trapped animal.  How she hated Casey, how she wanted him under the ground where he had put Jackson.  She clung to her husband, just barely aware he was there at all.  He didn't quite understand everything, but soon enough she would tell him.  Soon enough, it would be over.  At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to rip every piece of flesh off Casey's body.          


	12. A Secret Among Lovers

CHAPTER 12—A SECRET AMONG LOVERS

Loralei needed a break after her fit of hysterics.  It took a bit longer than she expected to calm down.  A sliver of ice had entered her heart, and she was solely focused on squashing Chance Casey.  How had a man with his history become so powerful?  It boggled the mind.  She wondered if he had any friends or relatives that could have 'sweetened' his record.  She knew from experience that Casey had a couple of 'friends' affiliated with the CIA.  Perhaps one of them was his partner in slime.  Once her stomach decided to unknot itself, she felt somewhat better.  She stood before the bathroom sink and splashed her face repeatedly.  _Jesus, didn't I just do this like **yesterday**_?  Although worried, Donovan didn't hover over her.  She wouldn't let him.  When her wits returned, she sent him away, not maliciously, but she made it clear that she would be all right.  Inherently, he knew something had touched her beyond the hideous image on the computer screen, but he wouldn't push.  She would tell him if he remained patient and gave her room to breathe.  He backed off and went back where the other agents waited.  Every now and then, he caught himself glancing back.  He was worried and fretted almost as much as his wife.

Donovan looked up as Loralei came out the bedroom.  She met his gaze and basically told him she was okay in one little glance.  His brow came up and his eyes asked, 'want to talk about it?'  'Maybe later,' hers communicated back.  Neither Donovan nor Loralei gave the other agents any hint as to the identity of the child's face on the woman's body, but it wasn't necessary to blatantly identify the owner of the site.  Loralei's reaction had been enough for them all.  The tricky part was getting Casey to admit it, but Loralei had formulated her own plan as she prayed before _Le Temple de Toilette_ [the temple of toilet].  Later tonight, she intended to share her plan with the others, but first, she would have to talk to Donovan.  Neither their original plan nor their contingent would work now.  Capturing Casey would take some trickery and a damn good wire.  She watched silently, mulling over her plan, as Cody began making backup copies of the website.  Casey had it booby trapped, of course, but Cody was smarter than every agent in this room combined.

"Meeting at eight tonight," Loralei announced suddenly.  "It's time to gather the slime and sink him into the ground."  She went to Bey and LaKonte.  "Whatever you do, don't see Casey alone.  If he calls you and asks, tell him Fielder wants you to work overtime.  Tell him anything you want, just don't go."  She then turned toward Donovan and took his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.  "I need to talk to you alone," she said low enough for only him to hear.  "We can't do it here.  Find a place, preferably public where I won't arouse Casey's suspicion, and call me from your cell.  I'll be here."  Without another word to him, she pulled away and banged on Fielder's door.

*  *  *

Loralei had been wise when she advised Donovan to find a place where Casey wouldn't suspect her of going to him.  Casey was watching her every move.  He had commandeered a surveillance van and used its equipment to aid him.  From the van, he watched as Kadin [_Donovan_] left the hotel.  He was determined to find out if she was going home to her husband.  If he even _suspected_ she was headed toward home, he would take her out right then and there.  He wouldn't wait.  He was too close to victory to give up now.  He carefully examined her style of dress.  It was casual.  She had rid herself of the blue suit and donned blue jeans and a dark sweater that seemed a little big on her.  _How sweet, she's wearing one of her hubby's sweaters_.  _Bitch_.  He was so tempted to jump out and abduct her.  He was tired and wanted the game to end.  He had a long life of secluded retirement to begin.

Although it seemed as if she were oblivious, she wasn't.  She saw the nondescript van parked a few blocks down from the hotel.  The outside was white and there was a logo for a dry cleaner painted on the side.  However, she wasn't stupid.  She knew that Casey lurked inside.  Did he really think that she was dumb enough to believe the van was truly what it represented?  She didn't have as much experience as some agents, but she had enough to know when someone was following her.  She was glad she had set up her visit with Donovan the way she had.  If she had asked him to meet her somewhere in the hotel, Casey would surely have seen him.  She remained cautious, but also didn't try to look back purposely.  She continued to stroll casually down the sidewalk as if she had decided to window shop.

Casey kept close watch while Kadin [_Donovan_] stopped every few feet to peer into a window here and there.  _What is the bitch doing?  Window shopping_?  What a stupid, stupid woman.  Marriage had softened her quite a bit.  Before she married the prick, she had been a bit of a tomboy, but now she was the typical run-of-the-mill housewife.  Oh well.  It didn't matter that much to him anymore.  He wasn't as attracted to her as he once was.  She was a lot hotter back in the day, fiery even.  _What is she doing_?  His mouth gaped open as she slipped inside a store.  It was a maternity shop.  _God don't tell me she's knocked up again_._  She's popping out kids like some type of haggard pussycat_.  He couldn't lose her now.  Carefully, he left the van and began to follow the path she had just walked.

Loralei ducked into the store only long enough to pass out the back exit.  She had planned the pit stop about an hour ago.  She had even called the store and asked if they'd mind if she used their employee exit.  After all, she was a federal agent conducting an investigation.  The owners had been more than happy to oblige.  She slipped out the employee exit and ran into an alley.  She dashed around the corner and moved toward her true destination.  

_Goddamn it_.  Casey had lost her somehow.  _Why did I even leave the fucking van?  Where did the bitch go?_  He ran around the maternity shop crazily while the workers glanced at him nervously.  He had flashed a badge similar to the one the woman had flashed when she ran inside moments before he entered.  However, this fellow seemed different somehow, shakier.  When he demanded to know where the woman went, the workers played dumb.  _What woman?_  If he had had a semi-automatic on him, he would have taken out the entire store.  But no, oh no.  He had walked right out of the van without grabbing even the wimpiest of weapons.  He had no clue where Kadin _[ew…Donovan_] had gone.  There were dozens of businesses on this block alone.  She could have gone anywhere.  She may have even had a car waiting somewhere.  _Oh that bitch, that cunt.  When I kill her, I'm going to make her suffer_.

Donovan looked up as Loralei entered the room.  Amused, he noticed that she had dressed herself in one of his sweaters that was way too long for her.  She had twisted up her hair with a large clip.  A twig stood up at the top and bounced crazily as she walked toward him.  _Wasn't that the clip she had last night?  I thought I broke it_.He wondered how she had managed to get here without garnering Casey's attention.  Surely he had been watching her.  Any FBI agent worth his salt would have, even crooked ones.  She pulled out a chair and sat down heavily.

"He followed me, but I lost him," she said suddenly, breathlessly, as she reached for the glass of water sitting before her.  "I ducked into a maternity shop and ran out the back door.  I'm certain he went to the store."

"A maternity shop?  Damn it, Loralei, you're lucky he didn't find you."

"Yup, a maternity shop.  I can just imagine what he was thinking when he saw me go inside.  He tried to be careful, but I knew where he was the moment I left the hotel.  I think we'll be safe here for a while.  Casey isn't much on stick-to-itiveness.  He probably went home to cower under his porn drenched computer desk," she said bitterly.  Her slight amusement at evading Casey quickly faded when she remembered the task at hand.  She was so good at hiding things.  _I thought those days were over_, she thought sadly.  Sighing, she took another sip of water.  "There are a couple of things I need to tell you before I go over my grand plan.  There is a history behind that hideous portrait on his website, and I want to tell you, because until I saw it, I had forgotten what happened."

He could plainly see that she was troubled, and he hated it.  She had gone through so much anguish in the last couple of weeks, and yet there appeared to be even more.  Donovan reached across the table and took her hands in his.  Up until then, they were clasped tightly on the table.  "I know it was something very bad, I could see it.  What is it?  What did he do?"

"I was a hacker for the ICD.  My main job was the same shit I've been doing all week.  I broke into a site that implanted a weird virus into my machine.  It basically made me kill the whole system.  Casey came in, chewing me out as usual, and he went into his office.  Again, he was cursing me and yelled that the virus had messed up his email/Internet computer.  I didn't connect the dots then, but I couldn't help but wonder why his computer was affected when it didn't even have any type of network connection to mine.  Anyway, I fixed his machine without a confrontation.  When I finally became curious enough, Casey did something that…that drew my attention away.  He has ways of shutting people up when he wants to distract them.  He basically attacked me, and had probably intended to rape me, but I beat the shit out of him and managed to get away."

Before she could continue, his grip on her hands tightened.  "Goddamn it," he spat.  "Why didn't you do something?  Why didn't you turn him in to his superior?  Loralei, what if he had-"  His voice died out.  The thought was too horrifying to comprehend.

"Please, Frank, I'm not finished."  He closed his gaped open mouth but didn't loosen his grip on her hands.  "I went home afterward and didn't come back for a couple of days.  I stayed in bed, hiding out.  Little by little, I blocked it out, I didn't think about it.  It came to me in dreams, but I never brought it back to the surface.  I think it motivated me to transfer out.  I didn't like ICD, didn't like what I had to look at every day, but it was more due to Casey than anything else.  I think it may have been why he flipped out when I fell in love with you.  Up until then, he had never considered sending me away.  I didn't report it, didn't even try, because I was this fuck up rookie and he was a decorated FBI director.  Work it out in your head, Frank.  You know the agency and the mindset.  Who would they have believed?"

To a degree, he understood, and he agreed.  "You shouldn't have let him get away with it.  He should have paid for what he did to you.  If he did it to you, he probably did it to someone else.  I want to kill him, Loralei, I want to make him suffer, I want him to hurt," he said through clenched teeth.  "And you didn't become aware of this memory until you saw that website?"

She shook her head.  "No," she whispered.  "I didn't.  He has obviously been carrying this grudge against me for years.  He wanted me to walk right into that website, wanted me to remember, wanted me to pay for loving you instead of him.  He even knew then that I was onto him, and if he hadn't done what he did, I would have discovered it that night.  Maybe he didn't really want me at all; maybe he only did that to distract me.  Point is, I was so fucking green.  I didn't know anything, and it appears I still don't.  You knew before I did, you know everything before I do, and I _never listen to you_."

He released her hands and slid his chair over.  "Bring your chair over here."  Without hesitation, she did as he instructed.  Once her chair was against his and she was seated next to him, he placed his hand underneath her chin and guided her face toward his.  He leaned his forehead against hers.  "You never listen to me because sometimes, I'm wrong, and when I'm right, you won't listen because you have your own mind.  I wouldn't want you any other way, even if we fight, even if we wind up like we were a few days ago.  Do you understand?  What he did to you was wrong.  What you did, you did to survive.  And that, my love, is something of which I can't fault you."  He moved back and pressed his lips firmly onto her forehead.  "As I've said dozens of times, if you hadn't made that fateful mistake, I wouldn't have you or Rachel, and I can't imagine life without either of you."

"Neither can I," she whispered.  She kissed him gently, but deeply.  When she broke the kiss, she said, "Now that I've uncovered yet another secret, I need to piss you off again."

He drew away from her and looked down at her curiously.  "Piss me off?  What are you talking about, Loralei?"

She sighed.  "I'm talking about my grand plan, the plan we'll be discussing with the others in less than an hour and a half.  I know what I need to do.  He expects me to find the website.  If he didn't, he wouldn't have given such a blatant hint.  Wire me for sound, Agent Donovan, because I intend to set up a meeting with Casey to _discuss_ what I've stumbled on.  I want to go the way of Bart Jackson.  I'm almost certain he stumbled on it the same way.  He probably worked for days before finally breaking it open.  I want Casey to confess and then you and the others can take him away.  Once that's accomplished, I never want to see the title 'Agent' before my name ever again.  I want it over, I want it done.  I want to hold my baby in my arms without worrying if some crazy asshole is watching me.  I want to be your wife again, just plain ol' Loralei Donovan.  I want what we had before this mess.  I just want to go home."  She was preparing for his blow up, because she was clearly putting herself in the line of fire.  Would it be worse then before?  She didn't want to live another two weeks without knowing where they stood.

He didn't like her plan, and he couldn't lie to her.  He wouldn't even try.  Yet, he didn't want the ugliness to return.  Donovan wasn't afraid of much in life, but the time that they were in limbo was the most horrifying experience of his life.  He never wanted to feel so uncertain and alone again.  Whatever she wanted, he wanted.  She had given up the life before, could she do it now?  "Giving everything up is what you want?"

"It's not only what I want, Frank, it's what I _need_.  I don't want this, I haven't wanted it.  I took it to help Bart, and taking Casey out of circulation will do that once and for all.  I never regretted the decision I made before, and I won't regret it this time.  I wanted it then, but not now.  I want something different, and it's the same thing I've wanted since I first told you that I loved you."

"I won't lie and say that your plan doesn't scare the shit out of me.  I won't even lie and say I like it, because I don't.  I don't like it anymore than you do when I go into a situation that could turn bad at the blink of an eye.  I won't demand anything of you or make any ultimatums.  I'll support you and do anything it takes to end this, even if it means sending you in, even if it means doing something I don't agree with.  I never want you to feel as if I don't trust you, as if I think you're not strong enough.  Making you feel that way is the one thing I regret above all else, and I'll do whatever it takes to correct it."  He put his arm around her and drew as close to him as possible.  "Go in, do this, but get your ass out when you have enough.  If you don't, I'm coming in, and if I do, I can't guarantee I won't hurt him for what he has done to you.  I want you to come back to me, Loralei.  That's what _I _want, what _I_ need."

*  *  *

The meeting that evening didn't last very long.  Loralei went over the basic plan and gave as many details as possible.  She would go to Chance Casey alone, but wired for sound.  If Casey discovered her wire, the UC team and the other agents would be her backup plan.  Loralei was afraid of course, but nothing would stop her from getting that fucker who killed her best friend.  She knew Donovan wasn't pleased, knew he ached to nip this plan in the bud, but he wouldn't interfere unless he had to.

*  *  *

It was after two in the morning when Donovan came to Loralei.  She had asked him to stay home, but he couldn't.  He didn't want to sleep without her in his arms.  His worry hadn't dissipated one iota, but he wouldn't push it.  Although not exactly safe, her plan was a fairly good one.  His only fear was that Casey might find her wire and manage to kill her before they could make it to her.  Every plan had risk involved, and he was certain that his wife would not walk away unscathed.  If she did, it would the miracle of all miracles.  When he slid in bed beside her, they didn't spend much time rehashing their plan.  For a few hours, neither of them wanted to think about it.  There would be plenty of time to work it out once the sun rose.  In those last few hours before dawn broke, the only thing he wanted to think about was his love for her and their daughter.  He made love to her gently and hungrily.  After, she began to cry _[fuckin' crybaby_], and he held her in his arms until she quieted.


	13. Whupass

CHAPTER 13—HTTP://WWW.WHUPASS.COM

The next day, Donovan's eyes were riveted upon Loralei.  She was nervous and jittery.  It drew his mind back to the night of the failed party.  Her behavior today was similar to that night.  He remembered thinking that if she didn't take a breath; she might wind up getting shot.  The same thought whirled in his head right at that very moment.  He had the urge to 'talk her down,' but he didn't think mere words would do the trick.  Earlier, he had had Geneva bring down Rachel one last time before the 'plan' was put into action.  _One last time, that's a hell of a thing to be thinking right now_.  He shook his head incredulously and brought his mind away from that 'last time' thought.  When he had brought Rachel to Loralei, the two of them stayed locked up in her room simply spending time together, doing nothing more than sharing time as a little family.  Loralei had cried when she saw her baby again.  She commented yet again how much of a 'crybaby' she had become since she gave birth.  _The hormones must still be out of whack_, she had said.  Although neither had voiced it to the other, they both knew Loralei was scared.  She hadn't stared in the face of death in many months.  The last time she had put herself in a bad position was her final run-in with Black Heart.  She thought she wouldn't walk out alive, and her tears were pure fear.  She was afraid she would never see her child or husband again.  It was a rational thought, a natural one.  It was the main reason why many federal agents ended up in divorce court.  It was too heart wrenching.  However, Loralei had boundless energy and strength coursing through her veins.  Her jittery nature was a defense mechanism.  Considering what she had gone through these past few months, she needed all she could get.  Tonight the game would end, tonight she intended to leave it all behind for the final time.  _Ugh.  Last.  Final.  Why am I even thinking about those words_?

Loralei looked up suddenly as Donovan approached.  A smile touched her lips for the first time in hours.  What had brought on the smile was the recording device he held in his hands.  Both of them were basically thinking the same thing.  If the situation hadn't been so serious, she might have broken into hysterical giggles.  He held it out toward her, and she couldn't help it.  She covered her mouth and guffawed quietly in her hands for five minutes or more.  Was he really thinking what she thought he was thinking?  He had to be.  The same wicked gleam was in his eyes.  She couldn't believe the way her laughter shook her.  She was walking into the ultimate of booby traps, and she stood before her husband hee-hawing like a drunken donkey.  She remembered a comment that Donovan had made before he took the baby away.  _When this is over, the three of us need to go somewhere hot and tropical for a month or more.  We must ensure the hotel is equipped with a hot tub.  That's my only condition_._  I kind of liked that toe in the pants thing and would love to try it again_.  She had laughed until she cried, and cried until she laughed.  It was either laugh or lose her mind.

Donovan stood a few short inches from her and held out the recording device.  "Your wire, Agent Donovan," he said sedately.

_How did he do that with a straight face?_  "Will you do me," she asked biting her lip against a fresh stream of laughter.

"Only in private," he said.

She snatched the wire from his hands.  "When this is over, Frank," she whispered, "You can do me all you want.  But until then, I think I'll get some help from a less distracting source.  Alex," she called.  "Will you give me a hand?"

The two women worked together until the wire was securely in place.  Loralei had purposely worn a jacket over her dress blouse to help conceal the microphone.  Although it looked like a pin, Casey wasn't stupid.  He had seen these wires a dozen times.  Of course, she was certain he would find the wire, and she was going in unarmed.  It was crazy, but she insisted.  A gun could be used against her as well as for her own protection.

"You know," Alex said, "I haven't gotten much of a chance to talk to you with what's going on, but I'm so glad the two of you are finally on solid ground."

Loralei inspected the wire and stood in front of the full-length mirror by the bed.  It was well hidden.  _Wonderful_.  The fuck would still find it.  "Yes, Alex, so am I.  It was pretty scary.  I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't brought you all here."  She turned away from the mirror and crossed her arms over her chest.  Good.  It still felt fairly natural.  "So, how are you and Farron getting along?"

She smiled a little.  "Well, he's certainly _nice_, but I don't know how seriously he takes himself.  He's the total opposite of Donovan.  I don't know, it's strange.  Since Farron has begun hanging around, he and Jake have been at each other's throats.  I knew there was really no love lost between them.  Jake would never say this to either of you, but despite his exterior, he had grown to respect Donovan and he took it personally when Farron hurt him.  The last time he was at the Nest, they tore into each other and Farron made this smarmy accusation I really didn't care for."

Interested now, Loralei took hold of Alex's arm and led her to the bed.  The two of them sat down on the foot.  "What did he say?"

Alex laughed a little.  "You're about to confront a sleazoid child porn producing FBI director, and you want to know about my love life?  If Donovan could hear us now!"

Loralei rolled her eyes and laughed.  "Yes, come on.  A little girl talk couldn't hurt anything.  Besides, it will get my mind off…other things.  So, what was it that Farron said?"

She sighed and shook her head.  "It was the weirdest thing.  Farron, who forgets that I'm fluent in half a billion languages, starts hurling insults at Jake in Spanish.  He accused Jake of 'wanting' me, and then says he couldn't believe he didn't see it before.  That, my friend, knocked the wind out of my sails.  Jake and I had a few words, and I've not really talked much to him since.  He acted almost…jealous."

Loralei gave Alex a surprised, almost incredulous look.  "Jealous?  Jake is jealous of you and Farron?  Wow.  So, what are you going to do about it?"

It was Alex's turn to be surprised.  "What am I going to do about it?  Nothing.  I think it's ridiculous.  I said he _acted_ that way, not that he actually _was_.  Come on, Loralei, think about it.  We work together very closely.  Even if, and it's a big _if_, there was something, I don't think it would work.  On top of that, Donovan would be _so_ pleased to have two people under his immediate supervision who are fooling around.  I can't even imagine."

"You're rationalizing, Alex," she said with a smile.  "I know it, I _invented _it.  So Frank would get a little upset.  Big deal.  I could work it out of him.  Besides, if he were to get all self-righteous, remind him that _he_ had a relationship with another agent _he_ was working with.  You know her well, you love her, you're the godmother of her daughter."

"Oh shut up," she said with a smile.  "Why is it when your friends get married, they immediately want to marry off all their single buddies?  Jesus, Loralei, you are such a drippy romantic."

*  *  *

FBI Director Chance Casey was a bit on the pissed side.  He had called the hotel numerous times to meet with Agents Bey, LaKonte, and Fielder.  All three of them had diverted him with little bullshit excuses.  Something was wrong, and he didn't like it.  He was almost to the point of demanding that the agents come to him.  After all, he had the clout and could just about do anything he wanted.  The only thing that had improved his mood was a brief phone call from Kadin [_Donovan_].  She had requested a private after-hours meeting, but she wouldn't elaborate as to what she wanted to 'meet' about.  A thrill rushed through his soul.  Had she finally stumbled upon the website?  Had she seen the little gift he left for her?  Casey sat down at his desk, leaned back in his deluxe executive chair, and propped his feet up.  If he had seen one of his subordinates doing that, he would have yelled at them until his face turned blue.  However, it was more than okay for him to do it.  After all, by tomorrow night, he planned to be on an airplane to his cozy hideout.  He couldn't wait.  He fixed his eyes on the large crystal paperweight his niece had given him as a birthday gift.  He had once thought it would be quite nice smashing it into Kadin's [_Donovan's_] face, and he began to like the idea the longer he thought about it.  Perhaps after he felt her up a little, he would smack her at least once before he shot her down.  Poor ol' Frank Donovan, a widower at such a young age, with a young child to raise all alone.  It was almost sad, almost, but not quite.

*  *  *

Loralei wanted to be alone for a bit to work the plan through her mind one more time before it was carried out.  She stood leaned over the bathroom sink, glancing at her reflection every few seconds.  She had to work on her poker face.  She could do it, but it would take some practice.  _Get in.  Get the confession.  Get out.  If Casey discovers the wire [which he will], start fighting the sick fuck_.  _Fight for your life, your daughter, and your husband_.  Before long, she heard a polite tap on the door before it opened.  She looked up as Donovan stuck his head through the crack between the door and its frame.

"Is it okay," he asked.

She nodded as if saying 'it's more than okay.'  He entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  He approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, mindful of the wire.  Only vaguely wondering [and not really caring one bit] if she had activated the recording device, he lowered his head and nuzzled the side of her throat.  He was amazed to feel how steady she was.  It seemed as if she had chased away her jittery nerves.  It pleased him immensely.  He once again marveled at her strength and wondered where she had hidden her reserves.  She leaned her body into his and covered his hands with hers.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear.

"I love you, too."  She moved his hands and slipped out of his embrace.  "I need to do this and get it over with."

Before she totally left him, he took her hand and drew her back into his embrace for just a moment.  He hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head.  When he let her go, she flicked on the recording device with a little smile.  Together, they walked out of the bathroom and toward whatever destiny fate decided to bring them.

The backups stationed themselves in the office of Lee Fielder.  His was the closest to Casey's and had enough floor space for all of the agents.  Donovan had placed a call to his superiors to let them know the status.  Although the mission would probably take no more than an hour, it would be the tensest hour of Donovan's life.  As he had done dozens of times before, he began to pace.  Every now and then, he would curse himself for allowing Loralei to go in alone.  He wanted to burst into Casey's office, show him his face, and then throttle him until he bled out on the floor.  His wife, his much, much _kinder_ counterpart wanted to take him alive, to let him suffer for his misdeeds.  _Dear God.  I must have been crazy to allow this to happen_.  He stopped pacing only long enough to adjust the earpiece.  He could hear every breath she took, every inflection, and every tone.  He wished she could communicate with him in some way, but if she did, she would be caught sooner than his comfort level could take.    

Cody watched as Donovan began pacing again.  "Jesus, Boss.  I wish you would stop pacing.  You're making _me_ nervous."

*  *  *

Before knocking on Casey's door, she straightened her suit and readjusted her wire.  The floor was conveniently deserted.  She wondered how Casey had managed to get rid of everyone.  Of course, this area was mostly administrative offices, but still, there should be _someone_ lurking about.  Sighing softly [_here it goes_], she knocked on the door and waited for the sick fuck to answer.  When she heard his impatient voice calling out to her, she entered his office and closed the door behind her.  Uncharacteristically for the anal compulsive bastard, he sat back in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk.  _He really thinks he's something._  Again, she was tempted to fly across the floor and hook her fingernails into his eyes.  

"So, Agent _Donovan_, what brings you here after hours?  I'm surprised that you would bother coming down for a special meeting.  What absolutely couldn't wait until the morning?"

She crossed her arms over her chest.  "Come on, Casey, stop fucking around.  I think you know why I'm here.  I think you knew I would be here even when you first asked me to come back.  How long did you think it would take for me to find your little smut pit?"

He grinned a little.  _Finally_.  She had stumbled across the website just as he hoped.  "Agent _Donovan_, whatever could you mean?  Why don't you come over and sit down for a minute so we can _thrash_ this out."

Playing it cool, she approached the chair parked in front of his desk and sat down.  Her eyes identified a large crystal paperweight just inches from his hand.  She didn't doubt that he intended to smack her with it.  _He must think I'm an idiot_, she thought.  Casually, she crossed her legs and kept close watch on him.  If he made any sudden moves, she was prepared to jump.  "You sick fuck," she spat angrily.  "You were behind all those child porn sites, those snuff sites even back then, weren't you?  I saw my picture on that site, and I fucking know it was you.  _Jackson_ knew it was you, and that's why you killed him, wasn't it?"

Casey smiled a little.  "Why, I don't know what you're talking about, dear girl.  Who said Jackson was dead?  I told you, he's MIA.  I think that you miss your hubby too much and it's making you hallucinate.  What do you think?"

Loralei stood suddenly.  She didn't get close enough for him to reach out for her, but she leaned fairly close to his desk.  "Do you think I forgot what you did to me back when I was a rookie ICD agent?  I remember _everything_.  I remember the virus that not only killed my machine, but infected yours as well, because _you_ ran the site from your damn office computer, didn't you?  I remember when you touched me, when you tried to rape me.  You know what?  It made me sick.  Just the thought of you inside me made me want to die.  You are the sick fuck responsible for hurting hundreds of people.  _You_, Casey, _you_.  Why, Casey?  Why did you want to do this to me, to all those children?  Don't try to weasel your way out of it.  I know.  Soon enough, _everyone_ will know."

"Wow," Casey said thoughtfully, slowly rising.  "You're much smarter than I gave you credit, Kadin.  You have it all figured out, don't you?  Or at least you think you do."  

With a whip like move of his hand, he reached for the heavy paperweight.  Loralei slammed her hand on top of his in response.  He didn't think, blink, or breathe.  Instead, he grabbed Loralei's wrist and literally dragged her over his desk, effectively clearing it of every item.  Taking both of her wrists in his hands, he jerked her over and slammed her body against the wall.  Ripping at her jacket and blouse, he found the wire.

*  *  *

The last thing Donovan heard was the angered roar of Chance Casey crying, '_you bitch, you fucking bitch_.'  He didn't wait for his team to back him up.  The instant he heard the tremendous crashing noise, he was out the door, nearly flying toward the director's office.  Jake and Monica were on his heels.

*  *  *

Loralei managed to free one of her wrists [losing a bit of flesh while she was at it], and she struck out at Casey, her fist connecting with his neck.  The blow forced him to move back a bit and he swung out.  She ducked the blow, but a ring he wore on his right hand drew a long scratch down her cheek.  She rebounded by bringing her knee up.  Instead of hitting his groin, it landed clumsily on his thigh, but it was enough to distract him.  She freed her other wrist and took a hit to her jaw.  Tasting her own blood, she kicked out with her leg and planted her foot in the middle of his stomach.  He pin wheeled his arms for balance and fell sprawling onto his desk.  Loralei ran around the desk to attempt to make her escape, but he reached out and grabbed a handful of her hair, effectively bringing her to her knees.  He pounced on her, with crystal paperweight in hand.

*  *  *

Donovan ripped open the office door just in time to see Casey wielding the paperweight over Loralei's head.  Stunned by his presence, Casey looked back at him, and Loralei rolled away and brought herself to her feet.  All it took for Donovan to lose his mind was the sight of his wife's torn clothing and the blood trickling slowly down the side of her mouth.  Enraged now, he rushed Casey, knocking his body to the floor.  Stunned by her injuries and her struggle against the sick fucker, she stood back and watched as Donovan set about killing the FBI director.  In a strange sort of fascination, she couldn't tear her eyes away.  Donovan was beating the man, smashing his head against the hardwood floor, cursing him.  She knew she should step in and stop him before he really did kill him.  For a moment, though, she couldn't move.  The beating was much deserved for what he had done to her and to countless numbers of innocent children.  Something clicked inside her, and she finally moved toward her insane husband.  It was a struggle, but she eventually dragged him away as Jake and Alex made it to the room.  Donovan was literally snarling at the man, and the only thing that calmed him was the beautiful sound of his wife's voice.

The moment he realized that Loralei was all right, that she was standing beside him more than alive, he took her aside.  One wrist was chafed bloody where she had wrenched it out of Casey's grasp.  Her cheek and lip were cut and bleeding.  Her blouse and jacket were nearly ripped to shreds, but she was so very alive.  His relief rushed through him like an out of control flood.  He couldn't stop touching [gently, of course, mindful of her injuries] or kissing her.

"Loralei," he said breathlessly, "he didn't-"  He couldn't say the words, couldn't bring himself to even _think_ it.

She shook her head.  "No.  He didn't have the chance."  She rubbed her cheek.  "But goddamn, he had one hell of a right hook."

He laughed and cried a little at the same time.  Oh yes.  This was indeed _his_ Loralei.

*  *  *

AUTHORS NOTE:  Well, only one more chapter left, and it will probably be a short one.  It will likely become a precursor to a short fluff fic, and then I might consider retiring Loralei and Donovan.  I think you all are getting sick of them!  Hahahaha.  As always, thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and offered suggestions [especially TheDreamyOne].  Thanks again to those who have continued following this saga!  One more chapter!!!!!  


	14. Cleaning House

CHAPTER 14—CLEANING HOUSE

"So, do you ever miss it at all?"

"Nope.  Not a bit.  I haven't looked back, and I'm perfectly happy."

Loralei sat in the park enjoying a nice warm spring day.  Rachel, who was almost a hearty six months old, rested comfortably in the crook of her mother's arm.  She was a happy child and often giggled.  _Just like her mommy_, Donovan had said dozens of times.  Her hair was as black as coal, and Loralei realized that she was beginning to look like her father more and more.  The baby was growing up so fast, and she had gurgled something that had made a nodding acquaintance to "da."  Of course, her husband was thrilled.  _I think she's trying to say 'Da Da.'  Wishful thinking, you jerk, she's trying to say 'Ma Ma.'  _When breaking from her studying, Loralei often brought Rachel out to the clean, green park.  It was a nice change from the grittiness of the city.  Alex had met her here for a brief lunch, and of course, to share gossip as well.  She hadn't seen much of Alex since Director Casey was carried away, cursing, bleeding, and limping the entire time.  What she hadn't done to him, Donovan had.  She often thought back to how she had stood and watched Donovan beating the director.  She had no idea why it disturbed her.  The bastard had absolutely deserved it.  Every now and then, those thoughts bothered her to the point of keeping her awake at night.  What she couldn't deal with on her own, she dealt with through therapy and a very supportive husband.  She hadn't realized how much shit she had to work out.  

With the FBI up in arms over the mental breakdown of their director, Loralei hadn't been able to resign as quickly as she wanted.  She had had to travel all the way to D.C. to testify in front of several stoic FBI head honchos, and would also have to go to trial.  _Yippie, more court testimony in another psycho murder case.  When does the fun end_?  After she was grilled to the letter by the upper echelon of the Bureau, she was offered a heart-stopping deal.  Since Casey would obviously lose his position, Lee Fielder was promoted and became the new director.  Loralei was offered Fielder's old job.  She gave it perhaps four seconds of thought before spitting, 'thanks, but no thanks.'  She had walked out and flew back home to be with her daughter and husband.  As she had told Alex, she hadn't looked back since.  She wanted to focus her energies on her old life.

Loralei gave Alex a sideways glance.  "So, I heard that you and Farron split up.  What about Jake?  What's up with that?"

Alex laughed and shook her head.  "Give it up, will you?  It didn't work out with Farron, and maybe Jake was a little right about him, but so what?  Jake is a _friend_, Loralei, stop bugging me about it.  We made up and we're playing nice, but nothing more."

She smiled a little.  "He _is_ adorable, you know.  I'd love to see you together, I really would.  You gots that _special _chemistry.  Come on, just between us girls, don't you think he has a cute ass?"

"Oh my God.  Here we go again," Alex said incredulously.  "If your old man could hear you talk…Jesus, drop it already.  You have been harping at me for months now."  She sighed and then laughed quietly behind her hand.  "His ass _is_ cute."

"_Ah ha_," she cried triumphantly.  "I _knew _it.  Come on, Alex, let me play cupid.  Try it out, see if you like it."

She groaned.  "Oh shit, you have a dirty mind.  He's a man, not a car."

"Who's not a car?  Please don't tell me you're calling me a machine again."

Loralei looked up as she saw Donovan approaching.  "Your ego is at work again, dear husband," she said as she handed Rachel over to him.  "We weren't even _thinking _about you," she said with a smile.

He smiled a little before placing a gentle kiss on Rachel's cheek.  She returned the favor by smacking her daddy on the nose.  "Ow," he said as he caressed his hurt nose.  "I think you two have her plotting against me."

"First a egoist and now you're paranoid."

He stuck his tongue out at his wife and Rachel tried to grab it.  When she missed, she spat out an infuriated 'uh' before promptly smacking her daddy's nose a second time.  Both Loralei and Alex were in hysterics by that time.  "Glad you find my discomfort funny," he said, not unkindly.  Actually, Rachel's swats were no more than gentle taps, but it amused her to no end to slap his nose.  

When Alex calmed down a little, she stood up suddenly and stretched.  "Well, looks like I need to get back to the grind."

"Glad you could make it, Alex.  Remember what I said.  Try it, you might _like _it."

"_Shut up_," she called comically before walking away.

Donovan took Alex's vacated seat beside Loralei.  Rachel suddenly decided she'd rather lie quietly against Daddy instead of continuing her nose slapping game.  He leaned toward Loralei and placed a soft kiss on her mouth.  "What was that all about," he asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"Nothing, just a little girl talk."  Rachel was trying to nod off to sleep.  "If she starts doing that eyebrow thing when she gets older, you will never procreate with me again," she teased.

"Are you finished for the day," he asked suddenly as he shifted his arm to support his sleeping daughter.

"Yeah.  This is my short day.  Why do you ask?"

He smiled a little.  "I thought of playing hooky for the rest of the day.  There's something I'd like to show you."

She grinned wickedly.  "I like the sound of that."

"No, not _that_.  Maybe I'll do that later.  This is something else, something I've been planning for a few days.  Are you up for it?"

"You're such a tease, Frank Donovan.  I suppose you'll drag me along regardless of what I say, won't you?"  She sighed dramatically.  "Okay, baby, whatever.  Let's go."

*  *  *

Loralei and Donovan rode in silence for what seemed like a dry age.  Every now and then, Loralei glanced toward the back.  Rachel had fallen asleep in her car seat.  She turned back around in her seat and took Donovan's free hand into hers.  "So, what's the big mystery?"  They had driven totally out of the city and appeared to be heading toward the 'burbs.

He caressed her hand with his thumb.  "You'll see when we get there," he said with a grin.  "I just hope you like what you see."

"Well," she said smiling, "if I see you in it naked some time or another, I'll like it fine, I'm sure."

"Now who's the tease?"  Checking his mirrors, he pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in park.  He leaned toward his wife and kissed her forehead.  "Here comes the 'surprise' part of this.  What I'm about to do will freak you out, but trust me."

She gazed at him curiously.  "Freak me out?  What are you going to do?  Turn into a werewolf?"

He shook his head.  "Nope."  He opened the console between them and dug out a black silk mask.  He held it out to her.  "You must put this on first."

With a wry smile dancing upon her lips, she reached out and took the mask.  "Kinky.  What else do you have?  Whips?  Chains?"

He sighed in mock annoyance.  "Put on the damn mask, LD, or we stay right here."

She laughed.  "Oh, you're breaking out the secret code names now, huh FD?"  She giggled uncontrollably as she slipped the mask over her head and pulled it down over her eyes.  He cut off her giggles with an unexpected kiss.  "Oooooh, what a turn on!  The next time we make love, can I wear this?"

He shook his head incredulously and put the car in gear.  "Jesus, Loralei."  He pulled the car out into traffic again.  "If you want to experiment a little, I don't mind."

"Didn't think you would."

She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.  She hated it when she couldn't see where she was going.  They traveled for what seemed like an eon before the car came to a halt.  She listened as Donovan left the car to retrieve Rachel from the car seat.  He then approached the passenger side and opened the door.

"Give me your hand and I'll lead you in."

"FD, this is weird," she said.  "If you make me fall, I'll never forgive you."

He laughed.  "My love, you won't fall, I promise.  Give me your hand."

Uncertain, she placed her hand in his and he helped her get out of the car.  Slowly, he led her forward and told her when to stop, step up, and so on.  Her shoes clacked on what appeared to be hardwood floors.  She smelled cleaning fluid, furniture polish, and glass cleaner.  

"Okay, you can take off the mask."

Loralei reached up and removed it.  She stood in the middle of a huge room with glistening hardwood floors.  Surrounding her on each side was a series of ceiling to floor windows.  A spiral staircase led to the second floor and she noticed that it had an open ceiling appearance.  She turned and saw a large kitchen with brand new appliances.  On the other side of her was another gigantic room that was probably a den.  It was lovely and bright.

"Frank, what is this," she asked, stunned.

"It could be our house if you want it," he said with a smile.

"Oh my God," she whispered.  "It's gorgeous."

"There is a bathtub on the second floor with hot tub capabilities."

She looked over at him and noticed his eyes were gleaming wickedly.  "SOLD!"

*  *  *

THE END!!!!!  Next on the agenda is a fluff fic related to this last chapter.  I appreciated the feedback, and I thank all of you for following yet one more Donovan adventure!!!!


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